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-1

Your way of trying to force them to do whatever you think is right without even questioning their motives is not helping anybody. If you spank your daughters everytime they question your orders this will only let them rebel even more against you or convince them to follow your lead blindly Both of which are not what you should try to achieve ...


1

Your son is logically correct. In the absence of a higher purpose or deity, life is indeed meaningless, The only meaning being the meaning that we choose to give it. If the meaning you live by is just something you've picked out of the air, something you've made up in your head, then that meaning has no reality at all. I would imagine that your son has ...


1

It looks like he came to a reasonable conclusion provided all the information available to him. I am a little alarmed by your statements He spends most of his time alone outside in a forest and the only time I speak with him is when he comes for dinner, breakfast and lunch. When he's home, he rarely talks to me other than on eating occasions. ...


3

You have an astonishingly bright child for 9 years old. In fact, he appears to be so bright, that my response is not one that I would tell a "normal" 9 year old, but rather one that I would tell to an intelligent adult who can make up their own mind. I went through a similar phase myself, except I only came across it in my late 20s, rather than at 9. I ...


0

Like your son, I was very interested in deep philosophical questions from a young age --my own children are the same way. That's just how some people are wired. As he gets older, he'll probably become interested in the vast treasury of literature that composes the philosophical tradition. However, no less an authority than Plato warns against children ...


1

I agree with pulp_fiction's answer - this kid is just a very introverted individual. Don't panic. Try to offer him lots of opportunities to socialize, but do it on his terms. He like science and math? What about clubs or camps. Take him to a meetup at the Smithsonian. Another question is does he like to game? He kind of sounds like a gamer. Try taking ...


1

Life is only meaningless if you require that it should be meaningful for something that trancends human life and humanity, like a god. Re-define meaning as the chosen and self-determined meaning of your own life and it's suddenly meaningful. Your son's example with the 2-hour room is a bad one, since life isn't two hour, and we have a past, and it's not ...


-2

Color me skeptical as well. The son didn't talk until six — presumably that was an ordeal, but this post reads like the mother is considering all of this for the first time. Putting aside my doubt. Sure, life is ultimately meaningless. You still have to engage with the world. There's still joy to be found. Which your son already appears to understand. That ...


9

Show him Star Trek, the original series (Kirk, Spock, McCoy & c.). From episode 1 on. Seriously, if there's a simple way to communicate optimism, inclusion, love for science and empathy for other beings, it is this sci-fi show. Brilliant as he is, he will surely appreciate the ongoing debate between rationality (Spock) and passion (McCoy), and the ...


7

Life is, indeed, meaningless. There's nothing wrong with your kid. I was just like him - I had zero friends and didn't like talking to anyone. Then I gradually began to become more social, and now, in my mid-thirties, I have friends begging to hang out with me every single day of the week. Life is wonderful - but yeah, still meaningless overall. Don't ...


26

Take him to a psychologist. Not because he has a disorder, but because he is highly intelligent and both you and he need to learn how to deal with this gift. Your son needs peers who share his intelligence. I don't know where you live, but any psychologist worth the name knows of local organizations that help highly intelligent children socialize with other ...


6

Oh my GOD! Your son is terrific. He is 1 in a million. Don't push him for anything(at least for now). First delve into his mind and "study" all the things he thinks. If you want to have conversation with him, you are gonna have get into his mindset. First of all, believe what he said is true then question him seriously about the statements and their ...


4

Congratulations - your son has discovered nihilism at the age of nine. My question is - how would you react if an adult you knew and cared about made such a speech? Personally I'd find it an interesting conversation to have, to which I would probably disagree with their position thoroughly. My answer to the nihilist question is 'Life is to be enjoyed, and ...


6

There is both no need and no sense of being strict with a 9mo baby. With 1,5-2 YO, maybe. You should, however, be consistent. Make sure your reactions to various actions are consistent. Control your reaction, including facial expressions and your tone appropriately to the situation. Talk to your wife and try to reach a consensus each time your baby does ...


1

I can't help you with "try and raise a well behaved child" because this isn't specific enought. I can tell you what we did for other things. We made sure there was nothing we didn't want our kid to grab at his reach (plants, statues, ...) . If there was, we would say to give it back. We also made the house kid friendly (his toys/books were at reach, we had ...


9

There is no doubt (in my mind) that children can be trained to be "good babies". American Indians in times past would start soon after birth teaching a child not to cry. Back then, a cry might alert a nearby enemy, startle an animal being hunted, whatever. It was important. So the moment a baby started to cry, they would pinch it's nostrils shut. The ...


21

Children at 9 months really don't understand cause and effect yet[1]. As far as he knows at this point, you're being stern with him and he doesn't have any idea why. Your son will eventually respond to gentle repetition. When my daughter (now nearly two) would grab my glasses, I would tell her "no, please don't do that" and take my glasses back without ...


5

TL;DR read the original paper and other literature and come to your own conclusion. Generally speaking, you have to remember that correlation does not mean causality. It can be very difficult to tease out confounding factors in a properly controlled study, let alone social sciences papers where controls aren't really feasible. Beyond that you shouldn't ...


2

Same struggles here. What all bad (or not good) behavior boils down to is parent consistency. Somehow, as parents, we forget to be consistent. When our kids were infants, we were really good about following a schedule and consistently correcting not good behavior (such as night wakings, throwing things, etc.), but as soon as they got "older", our rules ...


2

Define "not often at all." If there's a month between visits, to an 11 month old, that's eternity. That could be stranger danger. I disagree with the "feeling the need to spank our son to make him hush," mentality. Eleven-month olds have needs. They're not spoiled nor have the capability to cry/whine to get what they want. In other words, there's ...


2

To me this sounds like the father has got some anger issues. I wish you the best of luck and recommend counselling or supervised visits rather than just letting them go. If he's getting upset and wanting to spank or hit the little one for being afraid of him...then there's probably a reason that the kid is afraid of him. Maybe something that's happened when ...


-2

Key words: "every time he comes to visit." Kids are scared of people they don't see often. If dad is around more often, baby will stop being scared. You should probably try to be around Dad more often and show him some affection, because then baby will learn to be affectionate as well. But for goodness sakes don't discipline an 11 month old for being scared ...


0

I have gone through this with my daughter. Take away the phones, screens and TVs. Give a hug and be understanding if they feel overwhelmed. Have them get up the same time every day. Let them stay up as late as they like but they WILL be up by whatever time it is. If push comes to shove lock them out of their room, let them go in to get clothes or ...


2

I would call child support services, and let them know you suspect the father of your child is abusing him. Explain what you've seen (the spanking), as well as the baby's fear of spending time with the parent. Ask what next steps are. I would also consult a lawyer and see what you need to do to protect your infant. Courts can require all visits to be ...


3

Subjecting a child to emotional or physical abuse is absolutely not acceptable, it creates long lasting psychological issues which stay with them throughout their life. As stated by others in this thread, the safety of this child is first and foremost and trumps any other legal rights that either parent may have. It would be prudent for both yourself and ...


3

Dad is a source of pain and unhappiness, and the infant has associated dad with this pain and unhappiness. You don't give us clues as to whether the only pain and unhappiness is just the spanking, or if there are activities the father has the infant participate in that the infant doesn't like. It could merely be that it's infrequent enough and the infant's ...


2

Good job mom for recognizing this behavior while she's so young! I want to suggest that communication about bulling is key. Schools are doing a lot of seminars and such with the rise in school violence but shes probably a bit young for that. I did a quick amazon search and found a lots of children's books about being yourself, teasing vs bullying and ...


5

A child's relationship with its daddy is important, but that only going to work if daddy steps up and acts decently. Hitting a 10 month old is not right. It's not going to teach the baby anything but fear. You say the dad blames you for feeling how you felt when you were pregnant. This is not fair. Pregnant women have all sorts of hormonal issues. It's ...


0

Give yourself time and think what you can do differently other than punishing and yelling. Ask your partner what is the right way of upbringing and try to understand what he says. Just do as he says for few weeks, if you can't handle the pressure call him and share your experience. If it doesn't work try something different and try it even if you think a new ...


7

This is a tricky situation. In general the child has a human right to a family life with both parents; and each parent has a right to a family life with the child. But the best interests of the child over-rule the parent's right to a family life with the infant. Hitting an infant because that infant is crying is abuse, and that's enough for you to refuse ...


53

You are in a tough situation. Having to share parenting with someone you hate is very difficult. And whenever anyone upsets your child, it's natural to want to prevent that. Let me make some suggestions for you. first, no hitting - I am presuming that "pop our son top make him hush" means hitting. That has to stop. It doesn't work, it makes the crying ...


0

There are multiple ways of dealing with it: 1) I agree with KASDEGA, that is what exactly what my dad with me and he told me whenever I decide to quit ask him for help. It didn't made me quit smoking immediately, but it made me feel that how disappointed he was. 2) My mother on the other side tried to educate me by asking "Have you calculated what is this ...


7

A friend of mine had a similar problem. His seven year old boy was completely out of control. His tantrums were volcanic, and completely manipulative. They were terrified to go out in public because he would throw things at random strangers and break things just to get back at them for restricting him in any way. A counselor who he went to see with his ...


23

In my opinion, if you aren't willing to consider corporal punishment, you are unnecessarily restricting your options. If you don't believe in it but are willing to consider it, I will present the case for it as my experience shows it to be the most effective method for raising a happy, healthy, well-behaved child while fostering a loving relationship. In my ...


12

Some ideas: Hunger/thirst: My cranky small humans get crankier when they're hungry or thirsty, and if I can see the clouds gathering, I can often head off the storm by offering a snack or a drink. Have you been able to see the grumpiness coming in time to head it off at all? Independent play: We've had success with helping our kids learn to play ...


30

When a toddler exhibits behaviour like this they are struggling to communicate, and they are struggling to regulate an emotion. It is very hard for parents, when confronted by deliberate "naughtiness" like pooping on a floor, to maintain loving calmness. As I understand it there are two aims: 1) help him develop confidence to play alone and entertain ...


5

First of all, when did that start? How did it escalate? Was it gradual or just happened all of a sudden? Try to discover the source of this behavior, perhaps there is one. If you know it you may be able to handle the situation better. For me, the defecation is crossing the line. Kids fuss, go through tantrums, we have to be understanding, but there also ...



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