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24

I will answer this from the point of view of, once upon a time, the child in this situation. I don't know if any of this applies to your friend's child as I don't know him, but perhaps it will for others in a similar situation if nothing else. I was the 'perfect' student as a child; always the teacher's pet, always the top of the class, always wanting ...


22

Everything ofcourse depends on the sort of pseudo-science and the amount of it your child is exposed to. If it is something that bothers you and keeps coming back. I would definitely talk about this with the teacher, the principal, etc. But when it's really part of the curriculum, it gets political fast and there probably isn't a lot you can change about it ...


17

I'm not sure you do have to tell them, at least not now. What seems to be the urgent issue is this job. If you really think you can't stand doing it for a little while (I assume it's temporary?), which may look good on your CV (resumé), then you have to break it to them seriously but gently. I would suggest avoiding the theological issue if possible. These ...


17

Listen and sympathize with the child. "Oh dear. That doesn't sound good. I bet you felt bad afterwards". Then discuss the situation. Ask why the child thinks the teacher did that, what the child can do in future. This is supportive and encouraging the child to develp their own strategies. You can mention the fact that sometimes people make mistakes. You ...


16

Teenagers are hard to live with when you've known them all their lives. It's harder still when you've only met recently. Step-parents often don't know that the teens are sulky and stroppy to everyone, and assume it's a specific reaction to them. A house rule that nobody is allowed to swear or yell at anybody else might help. At this age, you really need ...


15

How to disagree and still come to an amicable resolution (aka Negotiating for Parents 101) Péter Török makes good points about each parent explaining the impact of certain decisions on the family. I am going to elaborate on Swati's note to pick your battles. In our house, when things become contentious, there are usually three types of dispositions on an ...


14

Probably the best guides to this topic come from the National Center for Science Education. In brief, the best approach seems to be to first contact the teacher (in writing) and ask about any materials presented in class that had to do with the pseudoscience. Do not engage them in any kind of debate, just ask (nicely) what they presented and whether you can ...


14

I'll give a go at a generic answer here, though I hope the querant will revise the question with more specifics so that I can, in turn, offer a more direct answer. Kids that age may bite for a number of reasons, each with its own solution. Here are a few of the most common, in no particular order: Domination/control/failure to discipline : Like all ...


14

Be honest about why you are leaving. It sounds like a really terrible job that is giving you nothing but a paycheck, and you don't necessarily need the paycheck. That's a wonderful reason to leave. "This is making me very unhappy, I want to follow my dream, and here is my plan for enacting my dream." Focus on the positives. You aren't very specific about ...


12

I was raised in a situation where there was no follow-up after one of my parent lost their temper. Because of this, I was never taught to apologize for losing mine. This is a very hard thing to learn when you're older... When I lose my cool towards my 2yo son, I try to apologize and explain (not justify) my response. When he loses his cool, I ask him to do ...


10

So far, with my 3.5 year old, I've attempted to complete that apology with an explanation of why I lost my temper with him. Like "when I tell you not to play with that, it's because I don't want you to get hurt, it's a very dangerous tool. When you repeatedly ignore me and play with it anyway, it hurts daddy's feelings that you're not listening to me trying ...


10

I hear your frustration! I have a 5 year old daughter who is slower than molasses waiting on Christmas. The mornings have turned into a routine for us though. She used to get up and want to watch a show on TV before getting breakfast. We quickly learned that this led to her watching her show and not eating. So we put the rule in place that she couldn't watch ...


10

I think the first step is recognizing that your desires are in conflict with your children's. You are craving some special event time, and they have been craving unstructured time. It's natural and okay to have conflicting desires with your family, just be aware the conflict exists and make a conscious choice about whose needs are going to be paramount at ...


9

This isn't really a parenting question, but it's close enough and you could use some advice. You are stuck, however the reason is not ideological, but financial. Your main concern seems to be that your family will withdraw financial support, so that's what you need to tackle. Work to become financially independent by getting a job which is not dependent on ...


9

I agree with Chrys that relationships with teens can be very complicated. They are not adults - parts of their brains are not yet fully developed. Sometimes they act very adult-like, and we start thinking that they are more mature than they are and we set our expectations too high. While stroppy behavior needs correction, it is age-appropriate. You ask what ...


9

I would address the accuracy of the name calling first. Was he shushing the noisy people, or announcing loudly that they should shush in order to get a teacher's attention? What was his true motivation? If it was simply to tell them what is right, I would say something like "the teacher was mistaken (it happens) and thought you were trying to get them in ...


9

What a difficult, painful and important issue. And congratulations on recognizing the long-term effects that the situation might have on your children. Divorce can affect a child's relationship with their parents, and creates stresses which can interfere with their natural development. While divorce per se does not seem to negatively impact children in the ...


8

I agree with Morah - don't tell them that you reject Christianity. It is OK to not be convinced that the faith is not for you - and if you phrase it correctly, your parents will not argue with you, rather succumb to just praying (more) for you. You have to be comfortable with the fact that your parents genuinely want you to be a Christian. So you must ...


8

Parents have a hard time when their adult children have a different way of life then they have. Often parents feel it a rejection of their parenting. This being said, you asked about how to discuss it with them. Using the word 'rejection' worries me. I assume you still respect Christianity as a way of life, you just don't choose to embrace it for your own ...


8

Let's be clear: ideological freedom is a basic human right, and your right to believe something is not affected by whether you are financially dependent on another person. The support your parents provide is a gift that they can withdraw at any time for any reason. If your parents are providing you support because they believe you believe something you ...


8

Your son has learned an important lesson, you cannot resolve all conflicts without aggression. What I can I do if other children either don't listen to him or show him that fighting is perfectly normal? And how should I tell him to react if other children ignore his efforts to resolve conflicts peacefully? Now you need to tell them what to do when ...


8

For discipline of any sort to be effective you really, really need it to be consistent, and that means both parents discussing and agreeing and compromising where necessary. You're certainly doing the right things by thinking about it now and talking about it before it becomes an issue. Even after discussing and agreeing and compromising, in the heat of a ...


8

Well I certainly identify with this one! My daughters are 3 and 6 and we get a lot of this. Not so much on school mornings but definitely on holiday mornings. It's worse in the winter because there's more coats etc to put on. I'm assuming you're already helping the 2-year-old quite a lot, and only expecting them to do really simple things by/for themselves? ...


7

It would be fair of you to let your parents know. They care about you, and it would be unkind to deliberately continue deceiving them. However, what and how you tell them is probably very important for a good outcome. Before you do anything, you need to decide what outcome you want. What's most important to you? That your parents respect you afterwards? ...


7

I agree with both Beofett and Morah, but I will add this: Is your wife a Stay-At-Home Mother? I currently am (not necessarily by choice) and when my husband travels for work it drives me up the walls. Typically, he's gone for an entire week--not just a few hours during the day. Things are better now that our kids are in daycare a few days a week, but ...


7

Actually, yes. It is possible he is purposefully riling you up. Not, perhaps for any specific reason he is consciously aware of. It is also possible that he simply gets distracted and doesn't know how to cope with your anger and unwittingly makes you more angry with his reactions. If he is purposefully riling you, he may do it because (even if he does ...


7

1) You need to discuss with her about the differing styles. This needs to be done in a supportive, collaborative way so she doesn't feel attacked. Find out the minimums she needs to happen, and see if you can achieve those or not. 2) You need to stop arguing in front of children. That needs a firm commitment from both adults to discuss that stuff out of ...


7

This is something Alice (who is quite a bit younger), as well as a number of students (who were also, mostly middle school students) I have had have struggled with. Let me preface this by saying, I know Beofett is asking with a friend in mind, I am going to write this as if I am speaking directly to the parent just for the sake of simplicity. Kids do ...


6

I can almost agree with Torben's answer, but I think his conclusion is a little too gentle to the point of placing an additional burden on you. DVK's comments have the right attitude, but are a bit too passive for what you're describing. When the topic comes up, I recommend calmly explaining exactly what you believe and don't believe. I don't think dancing ...


6

The two main virtues of a parent of a young child, are patience and consistency. It's good to have simple rules your child can understand and be (very) consistent about them. If it does not behave there should be a consistent consequence to this behaviour. You should realise that it is good to explain why your child can not do something or should do ...



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