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46

When legally adult children continue to live with their parents, they implicitly accept to live by the rules of the house because they are legally free to choose to move out and live by their own rules. The times you mention seem on the conservative side to me. I'm sure your parents mean well but if you want to change things then I would start by figuring ...


25

Yes, I think that children's online activities should be monitored but I don't think it's feasible in practice except for very young children. Older kids will always find a way to circumvent your control -- but the good news is that they get more computer-literate in the process :-) To me it's the same as having someone supervise small children at the ...


15

I know Dvorak is faster, but I would say Qwerty. My logic is that 99% of the keyboards she'll run across in her life will be Qwerty. It's not worth the trouble to type amazingly fast on 1% of the keyboards, but have to sit and painfully peck on remaining 99% keyboards. Even if she could always carry a keyboard with her, it still will limit her (think ...


14

"My rules or get out" is not a good way to teach children to compromise (and we hear that rhetoric so often when being critical of how a country is run, where this is learned I see clearly now..) or negotiate with other adults. You risk casting your children to the wolves, and I've seen friends devoured. In this case, you should be able to calmly sit down ...


12

My suggestions are: Check out your local community college pre-teen and kids' non-credit courses. Sit down with your daughter to see if any spark her interest. Check out your park district classes. See if any interest her. Check out your local library; ours has monthly anime/manga fan meetups and people come in routinely to teach how to draw in various ...


12

While I definitely agree professional help would be valuable, I would also suggest considering your opportunity to be a role-model to your brother. Spend time with him. Invite him to go with you to do fun things that don't involve the computer. Engage him in loving brotherly conversation, so that he trusts you and becomes more open to share what is going on ...


12

Short answer: use Qwerty. Long answer: it depends: Why do you want to introduce Dvorak? Hear me out -- I think Dvorak is great but the mere fact that it's not the universal default makes for a difficult reality. First: The difference lies in typing comfort, not speed. There is no noticeable speed difference between Qwerty and Dvorak, provided that the ...


11

In general, I would do the same thing to an 18 year old as any of my kids. They gradually get more freedom to set their own bed time, computer usage, etc, until they are sleeping in, not getting things done, etc. If they blow it, then they are on a tight schedule (For some time, I was sending them to bed at 1900, because they were having serious problems ...


10

In answer to my own question, this is one approach I've thought about, and it would be age dependent, so something like: 0-7 years, no unsupervised access. 8-13, unsupervised access allowed to a white list of sites, everything else blocked. 14-16, no blocking, but everything logged, so I can keep an eye on them. 16+, no blocking, no logging. (Presumably I ...


10

As an elementary school librarian, I was responsible for talking with students and parents about computer use. We focused a great deal about the very scary presence of predators on the internet. We encouraged parents to constantly talk with their children about what they are doing on the internet, who they are talking to, what sites they are visiting. I ...


9

Good old fashioned taking the computer away is my first thought. Just be consistent with a time limit. Kids hate never knowing when a parent is going to come in and say it seems like they've been on the computer "long enough." The guarantee of a minimum helps them accept an enforced maximum. As for what to do instead, kids usually figure that out for ...


9

I think that computers are incredibly powerful tools for learning, and getting them in the hands of as many children as possible is a good thing. Certainly, supervising your children, especially when they have internet access, is a good idea. My 8yo keeps his netbook on a small work table in my office, so we have our computer time together. I do like that ...


9

Do you monitor the books they read from the library? Do you monitor the music they listen to on the radio? Do you monitor the TV and Movies they watch? Do you monitor what they say and hear from their friends? If so, then I'd say yes... it's just yet another stream of content. Honestly, the easiest way to monitor, is to put the computer in a communal space ...


7

The job of an adult is to raise another competent, functional adult that can manage themselves in the real world, not to raise a child that must always be managed by others. The only thing that having a set bed time for an 18 year old accomplishes is that they don't get a chance to learn how to manage their own tiredness/schedule/etc, and so they'll likely ...


7

I would focus on the lying and sneaking around. As you have mentioned, you feel there is no way around the use of the programs. I, personally would talk to her about Facebook and have her account frozen - the user agreement on Facebook states that users must be 13. I would proceed with talks about trust. I think I would make her re-earn the right to use all ...


7

First of all, I was that 13 year old kid. I was always on the computer or playing video games. So, some of these questions are me vicariously wishing that I had had an older brother who cared. See, I really really want you to come at this the right way. If you try to get him to stop using the computer or TV "because it's unhealthy" you will make him want ...


6

We set up an email account for my daughter at age 9 and a blog for her. We also invested a lot of effort educating her about anonymity and trust. Neither email nor blog use her personal name or give away any details other than the city she lives in. She actually chose to use a pseudonym. She has been taught to never post photos, never give away personal ...


6

Although I don't claim expertise in the subject, there appear to be two functional sides to the debate between violent behavior and violent video games, with varying amounts of evidence to support either side. Side saying video games causes aggression It has been demonstrated in many experimental psychological studies that even brief exposure to violent ...


6

Yes and no: Yes the rule of thumb is equally valid for computer screens as for TV screens. No your daughter won't become a raging lunatic from watching you code. The recommendation against watching TV is not, as I understand it, because it shortens the attention span, but because it overloads the mind. A small child is not mentally capable of processing so ...


6

The minimum age to use Facebook, per their terms of service, is 13: What is the minimum age required to sign up for Facebook? In order to be eligible to sign up for Facebook, people must be thirteen (13) years of age or older. The minimum age to use GMail and Google Accounts, per their terms of service, is also 13 (in the USA): Age ...


6

Talk to him about your experiences, this is especially useful as you have been through the same thing as him and can help him simply be being there to talk to. As for the gaming addiction, my gut feel is that this is a symptom of other underlying issues and finding those and dealing with them will be more useful than trying to impose external controls on ...


6

Sinking so much time into such passive activities points towards some sort of mental or emotional health issue. It's possible he's depressed or avoiding responsibility, but I agree with Nat -- it sounds like a symptom rather than a cause. I don't know what kind of psychologist your brother saw, but that person sounds like a quack. I'd highly suggest ...


5

Automated parental control. you define: X hours a day max Range for those allowable hours a day (e.g. after 9am before 7pm) Results: Kids understand the system is automated No "begging" to parents for "more time". PC cannot be persuaded to stray from protocol Kids find other things to occupy themselves with


5

There are two sides to this issue you need to consider. The first you already hinted at: for every constructive or enriching or wholesome activity you can do on the computer or internet, there are at least as many time-wasting or even harmful activities. At that age, the majority of the responsibility for their safety and protection is still with you as ...


5

There are a couple of different sub-topics I have found to be the focus of research on video game and computer use by children. Violence The topic which has received the most attention is violence, particularly the perceived correlation between violent media and violent behavior in those who view violent programming/play violent video games. As Andy W ...


5

I can think of several good reasons why you should still have a bedtime and a time limit on PC use. Even at 18, you're still developing. Developmental changes continue to occur after puberty winds down, well into your 20s. Though you're mentally capable of making your own decisions (and being held responsible for them), your body still needs plenty of ...


5

First of all, Gmail will allow you to 'delegate' email to another address. my 10 yo daughter has an email address that i delegated to my main gmail address. Dropdown at my name on the screen and i can open her mailbox. I do it regularly. Secondly, if you notified those services, they would delete or block the accounts. Not personally sure that would be my ...


5

I daresay that the keyboard layout is not an issue for typing speed for 99% of population. Correct typing on a qwerty is fast enough, trust me - I know, since I work in IT and don't type properly, and it is fast enough (>400 characters per minute). Use the standard qwerty layout, but make sure your child learns to type properly. There are lots of ...


4

I know that cutting off computer at 20.30 seems unreasonable to you and it is, in my anecdotal experience, certainly out of the ordinary. However, there's a very good chance that your parents are actually doing what is best for you. Read up on how many people don't get enough sleep at night and how much being in front of a TV or computer can affect that ...


4

I would also consider time caps like you would consider for television: perhaps 1-3 hours per day depending on the age. Would be glad to hear in the comments what caps parents are using and how are they enforcing them.



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