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12

We had to go by size and strength rather than age. Our oldest is small for her age, so she and her sister started together. I went by "big enough to push the lawn mower and smart enough not to stick their hands underneath." That turned out to be 12 for the oldest and 10 1/2 for the second. Our third started when he was 10, but mainly because he wanted in on ...


9

It seems to me that the question you linked (I haven't read all the answers) is about things which should be considered normal (sleeping in her own bed). Maybe the main objection ("the child will become reluctant to do things if there are no rewards") can be mitigated by clearly defining what chores the child is expected to do normally (tidying her room, ...


8

This is one of those things that if you get creative about, you can almost always find a way for them to help. For example, my 3yo wanted to help move a heavy couch a few weeks back. Of course, having him actually stand near the couch itself was dangerous, so I told him that he could stand behind me, put his hand on my back, and help push me as I walked ...


7

It appears that your child lacks motivation to do certain types of chores. She sees little interest in things that are imposed on her, which is unfortunate, because in the real world few get to decide what they can work on. Perhaps there is a way to let her pick her chores. I am a big fan of letting kids enter bidding wars over chores. The premise lies in ...


7

I don't think there's a definitive answer as children vary widely in coordination and ability at a given age. Enthusiasm also is a big factor. My son has been helping unload the dishwasher, load and unload the washing machine and dryer since he was 1 and a half. We didn't ask him to do anything, he just walked over and started doing it because he wanted to ...


5

While I personally have a number of issues with Kohn's book, I do agree that "do-this-and-you-get-that" is a poor system, fraught with problems. The stance that we are taking with my son (who is still only two, but its never too early to start expecting participation) is that chores are things that just need to get done, and that we expect him to do those ...


5

First off, rewards do not have to be financial. They can be encouragement, praise, getting to stay up a little later...anything Secondly, as adults we do chores not because we want to but because we know the consequences will be more work later in tidying up - children can be taught this from quite an early age. When they are very young they don't have ...


5

Questions like this come up all the time, and my general approach once they are at this sort of age is to have a fairly adult conversation with them to discuss: All the chores that need doing How many my things wife and I have to do - including things like working 10 hours a day to pay for house, education, cars etc... as well as chores like tidying the ...


4

I'm not a psychiatrist, but your daughter is exhibiting one of the classic symptoms of ADD/ADHD; a clear preference for putting short-term interests above everything else, regardless of rewards and punishments intended to dissuade her. I hear your account and I'm immediately reminded of my own childhood, having struggled with much the same thing growing up. ...


4

Sounds to me like you've been KO'd. I think the entire thing has been competition for who's in control of the conversation and the 8 yo person. Then there's another point that I'll make below. Summary: It started at "just do your chores". Then there's a punch-for-punch escalation in rhetoric until you get to the huge tantrum part, at which point you don't ...


3

I rode my grandpas riding mower at nine or ten. The problem was more a question of not being able to actually do the job than safety at that point, meaning my grandpa had to go out and do it again to get the spots I missed. So, fun, but hardly useful at that age. I did, usefully but not enjoyably, mow my parents lawn with a manual mower at about the same ...


3

Chopping vegetables for dinner. My 8 and 9 year olds can do this. My 4 year old helps out with this for softer vegetables. She can use a butter knife, so there's no danger of her getting cut. It doesn't look as nice as when I do it, but still tastes fine. Just about any part of cooking they can do, with supervision depending on age and maturity. Added ...


3

I think this is also one of those things that depends on the child. My son LOVES to help out whenever we do things, cooking, shoveling snow, raking the yard and so on. Some cooking tasks he is great with, such as mixing and measuring, but I wouldn't have him do certain other things. I'll let him try something that I think he is ready for, such as raking ...


2

Have you tried the reward scenario? Our three get a small amount of pocket money every week. If they help out with chores they can earn more, and the amount depends on how onerous the chore is. When they are saving up for some special toy they become very helpful. From a less commercial standpoint, have you looked at how you approach chores? If you always ...


2

So of course GdD's answer that there isn't a definitive answer is absolutely true in that no two kids are alike and one must gauge where an individual is at any given time. Still, there are guidelines of what can typically be expected at certain age levels. So far, I have found this list to be fairly accurate in our home, but it is missing quite a few ...


1

In my household I simply expect everybody to contribute. Of course, that's only according to their abilities, and of course children should have lots of free time left. But there are chores to be done, and some of them are done by the kids. Their sole incentive doing them is that they contribute to the community they live in. Over the years we have ...


1

A blog I read suggested giving a task that must be done to the youngest child capable. This is because than the child gets a "big person" job, and not the same childish job they have been doing for a long while. Also, older children see their younger siblings are also asked to help out. Children frequently are motivated by thinking of themselves as more ...


1

My favorite resources for this issue are Chores Without Wars and Positive Discipline. As Rory says, family work is the responsibility of all family members (at varying levels based on age/development/abilities/etc). Positive Discipline outlines exactly how to go about implementing this using regular family meetings. A nice blog for what this actually looks ...


1

Many children, instead of being motivated by reward are motivated by being in control. Having worked with kids with OD (oppositional Disorder), I've learned how kids can use bad behavior to prove to themselves they are in control when they feel they are being controlled. I am not saying your kid is OD, but she definitely sounds like she is one of those ...


1

A possibility is to have a family meeting with the stated goal of working out the reward(s) for chores. If you present the chores as a done deal, but meet to discuss their ideas for what they get for doing the chores, then you are far more likely to get buy-in. We did this with our four (ages 13 to 4) and it's been perceptibly better.


1

Clearly depends on how mature the child is, not how old they are.


1

This list assumes you are using child friendly and organic cleansers. Depending on the type of vacuum you have, he might be able to help with that. If you have an upright it will be too much but cannister vacs mean the part the child is moving around a lot are lighter weight so he can do that. You can also spray a mirror and have him wipe the bottom while ...


1

My son wants to participate in most of the household things watering plants Cleaning some mess taking out cups and dropping in sink Brings any small objects when we ask for like remote, paper, Books, phone etc.



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