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40

It seems to me that being shouted at is likely to make any child cry, particularly by an older child. Shouting is not nice, and intimidating particularly from an older child. Door knocking i've not seen before, but if door knocking includes fairly loud knocking, it could also be a bit disturbing. More likely to me, he's concerned about some change when ...


19

Being brave is not the absence of fear, it is doing the right thing even though you are afraid. Fear is good, it is based off of natural preservation instincts and can warn of danger. You need to teach him about the things that are more important than self preservation: Teach him about principles and standing for them, Teach him about chivalry, teach him ...


8

Realistically, you can't. Your son is four. A four year old doesn't have the brain development for conflict resolution entailing the use of carefully applied physical force. Your son doesn't need to learn how to physically defend himself at this age, or learn to physically deter aggressors. He needs to learn that he can trust the adults charged with his ...


7

Fearlessness is basically stupidity. You can be fearless only if you are stupid enough not to be able to realize the consequences of a serious action or danger. Strength is doing what needs to be done or what is right, DESPITE fear, DESPITE being able to realize the potential grave consequences of an action which you may have to take or an event which you ...


6

I think there are lots of possible responses and the one that you choose depends on your values and ability to do the response fully. When I was bullied at school, although I was doing karate at the time, an aggressive response was just not me. Taking your son's character into consideration is therefore important. Here are some ideas: Give your son some ...


5

Talk to the school. They should have an anti-bullying policy. Get it and insist that they apply it in this case. Write to the teachers. Identify the specific hurtful behaviours being used and insist that they are stamped on. The only way to stop this is to make it clear to the bullies that their behaviour will not be tolerated. Bullying is child abuse, no ...


5

This has to be one of the most painful parts of parenting. It's good that the teachers are contacting you**; having Cain's parents sit in, though, while very important for Cain and his parents, is not much of an action plan. What are the school's written policies? All schools should have one in place; even in preschool. Ask to read it. Bullying often ...


5

Standing up for yourself doesn't have to involve violence - and certainly in most cases should not. I suppose if I were attacked by someone and had literally no viable alternative, I would fight back, but in general I would almost always have a viable alternative. That's the key for children in this kind of situation. You should teach him to stand up for ...


4

I don't think you should worry too much at this stage. It doesn't seem to me that a child's fears at this age are likely to reflect how their personality will turn out when they get older. It sounds like a lot of your son's fears may be related to his imagination and it can be a good thing that he has a good imagination. My youngest brother used to come up ...


3

My son is also 2 years old, and is occasionally frightened by unexpected things. For instance, he loves to push all the buttons on toys in stores, especially on trucks and cars. However, some of them are very loud and/or have motorized parts. Like your son, he'll sometimes be afraid of them. He'll come to us and hug our legs, or back off from the toy and ...


3

A bully is a tyrant in training. Dealing with a bully is as challenging as dealing with a tyrant -- none of us are born with the skills to handle them well. When I was about 7yo, I asked my mom, "Mommy, why do kids act one way at school and another way when they are not at school... I am me wherever I am?" The question fell on confused ears as it does for ...


3

Ouch. This is difficult. First, the good points: you have the school on your side, they are responding appropriately, and it sounds like Cain is being progressed through a proper disciplinary sequence. You might ask the school about that: they should have a written policy. I understand that you want to send the right messages to your son. I would suggest ...


2

Good job mom for recognizing this behavior while she's so young! I want to suggest that communication about bulling is key. Schools are doing a lot of seminars and such with the rise in school violence but shes probably a bit young for that. I did a quick amazon search and found a lots of children's books about being yourself, teasing vs bullying and ...


2

If the fear is caused by noise or strangers it should go away as he becomes older. A typical twenty-four month old child should be afraid of loud noises and strangers. It would be unusual if he wasn't. Here's a visual showing the fears of young children over time. The left side shows fears that decrease over time and the right side shows fears that ...


1

Try roleplaying with a toy or a doll. Play nursery, have a doll be her, one for the caregiver, a few "friends"... and then suddenly one friend is angry! Oh no, what happens? Kids often don't (want to) tell things, but when playing, use a mix of both fantasy and their own experiences to create situations. Ask follow up questions: why did the doll do that? ...


1

Take them out of that situation. It sounds like the child is being abused and you need to protect them. They are too young to protect themselves. Remove the child from their cousins and anyone else that may abuse them. Then when the child is old enough put them in a self defense course. It's not the child's fault they are being abused, it is not their ...


1

We've had good results telling our three year old to put the hands in front of her (not really pushing but creating a physical distance between her and and aggressor) and yelling loudly "no" (mostly to alert the adults nearby).


1

Well its not possible for a parent to be around a 2.5 year kid all the time. Like my son he goes to school. Since there are other kids playing around it is possible for the child attender to lose control for may be few seconds and that is enough for a push or pinch. Here neither my child is wrong neither the other child because they are learning and self ...


1

This is perfectly normal and common for a 2 year old. Don't worry about it. He'll get more confidence as he gets a bit older, and discovers all the new things he can do. What you should avoid is trying to push him to do things he's frightened of. This will have the opposite effect to what you're trying to achieve. It's perfectly normal that he would cry if ...


1

@Joe's answer is excellent but I believe that the real question here lies more in how to teach a child when violence is unacceptable vs. when it may be ok. I believe that it comes down to the motivations behind the violence. Using violence out of frustration or anger or a desire to have power over others is wrong. Being the aggressor or instigator of a ...


1

You are not really giving us all the information we need, ages, is the nieces parent around, so I will do the best with what little information was given. do you live with your niece? When you say our room, does that mean his room? Your son is being bullied by an older child, you need to talk to her mother and advise her that she needs to teach her child ...


1

Honestly, it sounds to me that you're largely doing the right things already. Getting him out of the situation (Time outs), re-engaging his empathy for his cousin (hugging afterwards), and giving him alternate ways to express his frustration (hitting the pillow) are exactly the same three steps we do with our (very aggressive) four year old - not quite the ...


1

If he loves giving a hug after hitting her then you could be accidentally reinforcing the bad behavior. I'd keep with time out instead. It helps to teach him other ways to show that something is "his". Our daycare really emphasizes that the kids need to say "mine mine" when another child tries to take their toy. It gives them a way to express themselves. ...



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