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6

Our job as parents is to equip our children to succeed as an adult. By shielding your child from those situations and talking to the parents, you are doing your child a disservice. Instead, talk to your little ones and help them process the emotions of the moment when that happened. Ask them things like, "was that surprising", "what did you feel when he did ...


5

"Little monster" seems a bit harsh. You don't yet know for sure that your children might not pass through an unfortunate or aggressive phase in a year or two. (My son was very aggressive around that age, and it wasn't because we thought it was OK, or because we weren't taking steps to address the issue.) With that said, I think it's entirely appropriate ...


3

After seeing a few of these answers, I'm developing "steps" that I would take in these situations. See what you think. Assess the situation. Try to figure out exactly what is prompting the actions of the child in question. Get the whole story. A lot of times, a child will just live in a family where rambunctious play is a part of everyday life and he ...


3

Try roleplaying with a toy or a doll. Play nursery, have a doll be her, one for the caregiver, a few "friends"... and then suddenly one friend is angry! Oh no, what happens? Kids often don't (want to) tell things, but when playing, use a mix of both fantasy and their own experiences to create situations. Ask follow up questions: why did the doll do that? ...


3

Try focusing a conversation or two around making her relaxed about the subject. She might be worried about the social consequences of "telling", backlash, maybe she actually likes the child who did it and they made up, who knows. You'll have to not just tell her it will be ok, but make her feel safe to tell you what she's worried about. This has to be ...


3

I only complain to other parents if the kids are really small < 4 or the kids don't speak my language. Kids aren't pet dogs, they are able to communicate. They usually like being respected as independent persons and it is more unusual getting an advice from a foreigner than from their own parents. I try to get into a friendly dialogue with the kid. "...


2

Your protective instincts and concerns about modeling for your boys are right on-the-money, I'd say. As are your concerns about over-reacting. But there is a lot of middle ground here. All the wordiness starting with "Excuse me, ... but..." is not going to mean anything to this age group though (think adult-speak in Charlie Brown specials: wahhh wahh, wahhh ...


2

I heard a tip the other day that is similar to the role-playing idea. Make it a game, asking silly questions about the people in their class. Have one of the questions be something like "If aliens came down and took one person away from your class, who would you have them take?" Phrasing things in silly ways like that could help kids open up, because it's ...


1

Honestly, it sounds to me that you're largely doing the right things already. Getting him out of the situation (Time outs), re-engaging his empathy for his cousin (hugging afterwards), and giving him alternate ways to express his frustration (hitting the pillow) are exactly the same three steps we do with our (very aggressive) four year old - not quite the ...



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