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22

As I do, I'm going to go a different way than the routes established in the other answers. I think they're pie-in-the-sky, "wouldn't it be great" kind of answers that don't really take practicality into account. Lets take a moment to critically identify the problems. If your kid is being bullied, the problem at hand is not: your kids self confidence. ...


22

Teach your child not to be an easy target. Bullies go for easy prey, someone with confident body language, who can tell the bully to "knock it off" in a firm voice, etc. is a less likely target. Also, being with a group of friends whenever possible is another good strategy. Teach your child to defend him/her self and others when needed. Tattling on a ...


14

When you are talking about babies and toddlers, bullying is a lot simpler than it can be with older children. At this age, it's pretty much one of three scenarios: Someone taught the child bullying behavior. If the child's parents encourage the behavior, it's unlikely you'll be able to un-teach it. Better to just stop spending time with that family. If ...


13

Having been bullied in more than one school, I can provide these observations from the "victim" perspective: bullies enjoy being mean more than being kind bullies enjoy the attention they get from others who think their behavior is cool (make ten people laugh by making one person sad) bullies encourage each other bullies are compensating for something ...


12

I hear a couple different things here, so I will approach them 1 at a time. First, your girl... News flash: ready? She's 3. 3 year olds don't know much about anything, let alone how to effectively defend themselves to a bully. So that's where parents come in. Most adults don't even know how to effectively handle a bully. She likely can't even remember ...


10

Your first question is what causes a child to become a bully, and there are many possible causes, most of which directly relate to low self-esteem: observing parents and siblings exhibiting bullying behavior being victimized by a bully receiving negative messages or physical punishment or experiencing controlling behaviors at home or school living in a ...


9

In general, at this age, it's not the child's responsibility to defend himself/herself, it is the parent's responsibility to make sure that the play environment an surroundings are safe so that the child does not get hurt. The thing you can focus on is teaching all the kids who are playing together to say STOP and NO when they're being hurt or in an ...


9

I would say something along the lines of "That's not a very nice way to talk to our friends" to the children in question. The parents would invariably notice what you said and may choose to follow it up with more stern words if they feel it appropriate, depending on the situation. If the child/children continue at least the other parents are now aware of ...


9

First, you should know that five is a typical age for a lot of "testing the waters" When I started teaching Middle School, people used to say, "must be quite a leap from preschool and kindergarten." and I laughed replying, "Nope, same shitty attitudes, they're just focusing their attitudes at different things." Obviously, in some ways I was joking, but ...


8

His classmates are rewarded by the spectacle of his tantrums as well as the group feeling of having a common target. Unless he can control the tantrums and ignore all taunts, I fear the only option is to change his environment to a more welcoming one. That may mean changing schools or getting ALL the parents to make sure their children behave.


7

When I was growing up there were times when I was troubled but I didn't tell my parents because I wanted to deal with it on my own, and I didn't want to worry them. I was also concerned that if I told them I would lose some of my freedom. So how do you know? You don't. One of the things you have to accept about being a parent is that you cannot control ...


6

Ugh. I have a first wife, too. She also was a fool. Still is. Quick tip unrelated to the forum: If you break things down to the most obvious base elements, she simply cannot be argue without sounding like a moron. "So I punish the child for lying and you really think I'm being abusive?" Which is the ham-handed segue into the topic at hand. What has ...


6

I'm not an expert at this; I do help look after my partners three kids and I have a son of my own who lives with his mother. But from my experience, and from what I have read over the years, a child usually becomes a bully if there are problems at home: not enough attention, or the child is getting bullied at home. It is mostly a cry for help, or trying to ...


6

Most kids under four just aren't equipped mentally for meaningful self defense. This is why few dojos take children under four outside a therapy setting. You are correct that every time your child flees, or seeks outside authority for assistance in one of these situations he/she is getting closer to a pattern of learned helplessness and being a ready ...


6

I think you have to model for the other children and your child how to respond to a bully. And although we throw this word around a lot, it sounds like that is what was happening, your child was being bullied. Studies have shown that when people stand up for the "victim" the bully will stop or move on. So, in this case I would suggest just simply saying, ...


5

I gave some thoughts in my answer to your related question. I would also like to react to your comment to Rory: what do I advise my son to do in such a situation. He currently tends to running away crying (at worst with tears) where I'm not sure if it is the best way. For sure, beating back isn't neither... That is surely not the best way, as it gives ...


5

While many of the bullies I have seen in schools have come from homes with significant parenting problems, it would surprise you the number of kids who bully (at an older age) who come from loving homes. It can be very easy for the bully-ee to become the bully in a chain-reaction kind of way. At its root, bullying is about power and a lack of ...


5

There doesn't seem to be a huge body of research on the matter but a recent meta-analysis looked at the effect of parenting on the risk of children to become bullying victims or turn bully themselves. Parenting behavior and the risk of becoming a victim and a bully/victim: A meta-analysis study (Lereyaa et al., 2013) Citing from the abstract: Negative ...


5

At first you need to know which kind of bully your kid may suffer: Ability: Some kids get bullied because they're outstanding in some area, or just by being different from the average. Faction: Some just get involved in some unneeded dispute somehow, whether out of initiative or negatively. Personality: Another reason is an uninviting personality. So, ...


5

That's pretty common behavior at age three and a half. I would hesitate to call it "overly" sensitive at this point. At any rate, it's not disliking being touched on the shoulder that's the problem, it's the reaction, so teach the reaction you want him to have and make him repeat it. It also helps to ask if their natural reaction is having the desired ...


4

StopBullying.gov lists the following warning signs, although they caution not every child exhibits symptoms: Unexplainable injuries Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from ...


3

I think this type of bullying or social castigation is especially common in female circles. It's interesting that you posted this because one of our local morning radio programs spent a large portion of the show a couple of weeks ago discussing bullying, the new movie Bully that's just come out, and they had some bullying experts on the show who pointed out ...


3

Related to my answer on your other question: If they are in kindergarten, the responsibility should be on the staff there - if you step in and do something you could end up in trouble. Your only real option is to explain to the staff what happened, and insist that they do something about it. The staff may however say that as it is not dangerous, it is a ...


3

Your attitude kind of concerns me. A 2.5 year old doesn't have the skills to deal with a gang of older relatives bullying him. Instead of asking what your child should be doing, if I were you, I'd be asking what in the world the cousins' parents are teaching them that it's okay to take toys and especially food from a baby. Instead of teaching him not to ...


3

This response is geared towards younger children, say under 9 or 10 years old. The situation for teenagers is very different I think. Definitely talk to the other parents if that is an option. If its not an option (for example, if you child is picked on at school) definitely talk to the teachers. You also want to give your child a way to stand up for ...


3

There is something that a teacher told us regarding the bullying between our toddler (3) and our infant (1 year). When the toddler does something to his baby sister that is not terrible but just not nice (like taking away a toy she is holding) you should talk to the toddler about how he hurt the offend-ed's feelings. Since the baby can not, they can't ...


3

Without knowing anything else about your son - have a look in to "Sensory Integration". Some kids can be overloaded with sensory input, and have a hard time dealing with it. At the very least it could provide you with some insight in to his world. If it seems to fit together you might want to get help on it - here in Canada we have the Child Development ...


3

Very difficult subject... Tackle the Problem from the Inside It's the most effective, and the point you have the most impact on. It sounds possible zen and overreaching, but the child need inner-strength, and, above all, inner-peace. It's going to be very difficult, but someone would need to help the child to be more passive about the assaults and not ...


2

Usually bullying can be back referenced to bad parenting, or a bad experience the boy had. Maybe the father treats the mother like that? Or it can be that he didn't get to much attention. Or not enough love, not enough care, not enough softness. It is very ease to neglect a child without even noticing that you neglect him. It also can be that he is ...


2

There is a lot to be said for letting children sort out this sort of thing, but the final call needs to come down to you as a parent - do you think your child was getting upset by it, or treating it as banter. If it upset my child I would have called it out then and there - the same way I would if it were my own children making fun of another, pointing out ...



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