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A one-year-old slapping is not the slightest problem at all in my opinion, but of course should not be reinforced. It carries no meaning other than discovery. Beyond this, you just want to make sure the behaviour remains discouraged.


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19 months is too early to get into complicated strategies, and time-out is just a waste of time as you've discovered, keep it simple. Get a health check with a doctor to talk about it Be mindfully and rigorously consistent about how you react to his screaming ; he keeps doing it because he thinks there is still something new he can get out of it. If the ...


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I'm not going to speculate on whether or not your stepson has ADHD. I haven't met him, I am not a developmental psychologist, and even if I was it would be impossible to diagnose over the internet. However, I've got a son with ADHD, and so I can provide some information relevant to why your two households are perceiving the same child so differently. It's ...


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My oldest son was just like what you are describing. I was also a single mom and had no time to take for just me. It was work, kids, and take care of the house. I about lost it to. I made a game plan and I'm not saying it would work for you but I will share. First I had to get Chase in a bedtime routine which did not involve me laying with him until he ...


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I have a 3 year old who also has difficulty going to bed and is definitely a strong willed guy, so I can definitely sympathize. I am fortunate not to have to be a single parent, and that definitely is hugely helpful when out of control myself - having another person take over often helps both the kids and me. However, you can't really control that, so ...


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Oh @Kate do I feel your pain! I have that kid too; he's 4, and the other morning he was up at 4:30 playing with his trucks in his room. First thing I will suggest is that you take care of YOU. I know I'm a much more patient mom when I get exercise, or meditate, or do something to keep my body and mind together. Have you tried cutting out the daytime ...


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The first few times I put my oldest son in his room using this method, I had to put him well into his room, and get quickly out the door and hold it shut, just like you are. The trick then was to not speak or make any noise to indicate that I was still there or listening (though he could of course feel the tension on the door knob). I did not open the door ...


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Our approach has been to put on our daughter's plate what we expect to count as supper. Then it's up to her whether or not she wants to eat it, but if she does not she cannot move on to any snacking/desert or anything like that. Then we don't have to fight with her about it though. The rule is that she cannot have a snack later if she doesn't eat her meal ...


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If what you're making is nutritionally on-target and there are no allergy issues, continue serving only what everyone else is eating. You'd be surprised how un-picky kids become when they realize they're not going to get their way.


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Children crave control. I had a friend whose son had a similar behavior, only instead of screaming he'd yell "Boo!" or "Hey!" He liked the way it made people jump, and it drove her crazy. She finally decided to deal with it by putting in light earplugs so that she could still hear but the sound wasn't enough to make her jump, then she made it a point to ...


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I took a roll of pennies and spray painted them gold so they couldn't get mixed up/mistaken for normal money. These were "pirate coins" or "treasure". I used them to reward extra good behavior and routine tasks that they needed some motivation for (1 penny for doing a good job brushing teeth, 1 penny for sorting laundry, etc). There were several benefits ...


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Okay, I know this isn't a fun situation at all for you. First, before anything else, have you been to the doctor? I think that you should make sure that there are no developmental issues. If this has been going on for awhile, it is worth considering. The reason I say that is because some children with Autism have this reaction when they become overwhelmed or ...


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Ask her what she thinks will help. We did this with our daughter, and she opted for putting a sock on that hand at night. Which works pretty well. I'm sure she's more willing to do it because she thought of it herself (with a little bit of gentle guidance).


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--- Disclaimer: Some might feel this answer to be hard to digest. --- Have you ever thought about what is happening in your kid's brains while they are watching TV? I mean, from a neuroscientistic perspective? Basically a fireworks of impressions without any chance to influence what is happening. A child in front of TV will absorb a flood of pictures, ...


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Reading this, I could almost imagine my own father writing this for me. Now a disclaimer that I'm not a dr, and your son is probably nothing like me, but when I was in elementary school I too struggled with social anxieties (ok so I still do but I'm able to get around them more). I never felt comfortable in my own skin as it were. There were situations where ...


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Ericka, thanks for your question. I am a father of four, with three boys: 7, 12, 15 years old. I definitely see this separation anxiety as a real problem. While "normal" can be hard to define, if my 7 year old did this to me, I would certainly want counsel myself. What kind of relationship does he have with his Dad? Was there recently a traumatic event ...


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Sounds like you have a lot of things going on. Choose the most important and work on that first. I would say it is behavior specifically aggression. Now step back the punishment a notch a 5yr old would normally be 5 minutes of calm for time out. The time starts over if he isn't calm (yelling, hitting things, crying is ok but whining is not, etc). Then ...


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Sounds like something is going on this is not normal behavior for children their age. Your daughter could probably fix her relationship with them in a weekend but there's no real point. It will go back to the same if their parents don't keep it up. As far as not a big deal it is a real big deal. What are they going to do when they are 12 and 120lbs and act ...


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My son does this when he is busy doing something else and does not want to stop what ever he is enjoying to go to the bathroom. Like, watching a movie, playing a game, or outside playing. He does not do it at school or at one of his grandma's house. She makes him clean his pants in the toliet and clean himself up! So, I know he can control it! I have ...


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Sounds like you may have a strong willed child, which is excellent but challenging. Balancing appropriate obedience with independent thought is a tough process, and I salute you for undertaking it. I have three children ranged from 10 to 18 that I have raised this way, successfully by all accounts, so I hope I can be of some insight. This does not have to ...


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I think the balance lies in reasoning. Children are always curious about what and why (if not when and how) of all things. Why do we brush? is it only because there is a rule or is it because something will "happen" if we don't brush? In a large majority of the issues (though, I may be over emphasis with this), we are really chasing the deadline - whether to ...


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My daughter shared a few details of these little girl's behavior. She told me these little girls scream at her and cover their ears when she talks to them. They are apparently very mean and ugly toward her. It's easy to get that impression when you haven't interacted with little kids before. Covering their ears is probably a test of the theory that if ...


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Try to make him trust you (earn his trust), trust himself, and think of his needs. I think he needs more attention and love from you and his dad. Nothing of what you said means he is going to be a gay. Maybe he is walking like that because he feel like every body is looking at him. The diary could be because he feels the need write down what he thinks ...


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I've often found that my son was more whiny in the period before acquiring a major new skill, such as crawling, walking and advances in communicating. I felt that he was frustrated with his limitations as he approached the next phase. In a way this is good as it probably helps with progress. I particularly found this before crawling and he was much happier ...


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This might sound a bit obvious, but I'm gonna try and share some thoughts from my own experiences: He might not want any of the choices and instead want something else; but, perhaps due to his age, he might not be able to express what he wants clearly opting for no decision. He might be "not in a good mood", which makes it difficult to choose; i.e: when ...


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The only thing I want to add here (and I would have made it a comment, but I really want to draw more attention to it's importance) relates to this, which you have stated you are doing: talk openly about changes to house and routine and how it's a hard transition. let her know she can feel sad, mad, scared and she is always safe with mom or dad and we ...


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This is a guess. I'm wondering if it might be a situation where he made the following two, distinct cognitive steps: (1) A while back, he developed the understanding that he could choose things. Make decisions. Affect the outcome. Make his will known, and have it followed. This is a big, important thing to understand, and it gives him control over his ...


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I think Karl Bielefeldt's answer is excellent, but I wanted to address you food/nap issues. I would simply not make them issues. Address the other, more important issues first - don't make it seem like he has no control, and no say. First off, I know very few 5 year olds who still needs naps. He will not be able to have one in school, will he? I would ...


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Kids mess up. A lot. If it were possible to do something for a month that would make them stop messing up, they wouldn't need to live with you anymore. Kids messing up isn't a sign that you're doing something wrong. It's a sign that you're dealing with a normal human kid. Parenting is raising a successful 35 year-old. It's a job with a very long view. ...


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The specifics for dealing with the smoking habit are, I think, pretty obvious and covered elsewhere. That will be relatively easy. The hard part will be in asserting your authority when he returns. Presumably he can always go back to live with Dad and he will use this against you. He'll know you don't want that and you've gone out of your way to woo him ...


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You really have two questions there... What is causing his behavior and how to deal with his behavior. My daughter (who is the younger) is the willful one in my family. Some punishments are more effective than others but the key is to keep going until you find one that works, though what works may change over time. Here's an example from when my daughter ...


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Set the ground rules that you won't tolerate it under your roof and why. Give clear set levels of consequences should they be caught. Don't make overly broad consequences and don't make them so inconsequential that your child won't care. Above all make the consequences enforceable. Have them written down and have your child sign to them as an ...



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