New answers tagged

5

Give it time; time helps a lot. It's only been a few days, and this is quite a shock, especially to your daughter who probably worried for her friend's health/life. She's experienced a profound betrayal. It will be deeply disturbing for a while, but the intensity will fade with time. Whatever else this is, it's also an opportunity to talk to your daughter ...


2

Welcome to se. There are many possibilities behind the scene.. Lauren might have a different reason behind this, it being a legit or not is totally based on her ethics, and if course Angela shouldn't get ideas that it's ok to do this. Misunderstanding between friends happen all the time, communication would solve 80% and the other 20% might not be worth ...


1

I work in a school and the way we deal with this type of behaviour is to remind the child that they must use "kind hands" when playing with their friends. We set clear rules that if "kind hands" aren't used the child will then be removed from playing with their friend for 5 minutes and have to sit in silence away from everyone. Then they are introduced back ...


1

In your home, you have the right to enforce your rules. If the neighbor child isn't willing to abide by those rules in order to spend time with your son, then he's making the choice to end the friendship, not you. Both your son and his friend are old enough for you to tell them, straight out, that you aren't comfortable with your son going to his house, ...


0

You did the right thing, but just try to if possible, keep them as far away from each other as you can, including school even. Telling teachers to not let them play together is just fine.


0

Another option is to re-direct the focus during her "big-girl" behaviors. Speaking to her like a little person saying something like, "WOW!! Give me a five! That was awesome! Man, your turning into a big girl, I'm impressed!" and while being overly emphatic about it... will teach her that new responsibilities are awaiting, the both of you. AND, you're in it ...


1

First we need to know why children tell lie. Because of Loss: if they feel that you can take something from them like their toys, room or you can stop them from going outside, playing with other children, eating ice cream or any kind of loss they may face Pain: If you can beat them or scold very harshly Embarrassment: Scolding in front of their friends, ...


0

I have worked in childcare for many years, and it is my experience that kids will behave much better for caretakers other than their parents (this is true with young elementary school kids as well). It is possible that since "daddy" is a biological parent and (I assume) you came into the picture sometime after she was born, she views you in this way. I also ...


0

These are 'My girlfriend's children' and one of them 'Will not do anything I tell him.' To play devil's advocate, why should he do anything you tell him? You are not his father or his legal guardian, you are his mom's boyfriend. If I was a kid, I would not feel obligated to do anything a parents boyfriend/girlfriend told me. I mean, just because they ...


5

I generally try to ignore the lie completely. Children have a slightly odd relationship with the truth, in that they still don't quite understand the barrier between fiction and reality. My script is generally this: Me: "Squiggles, why did you draw on the wall?" (Note: Never "did you", always "why did you") Squigs: "I didn't." Me: "Well then ...


3

Why ask if you knew it was her? At that age, their thought and speech isn't totally developed even if they look like it. Sometime they "lie" but what they are saying is "I wish I didn't". Your punishment might be wrong, try to look at "natural" punishment. In your example, if she drew on the wall, she should clean it up. "I see you drew on the wall, we draw ...


1

It's possible that your daughter is craving the type of undivided attention that is often given to a baby (being held, nursed, cuddled). This might be especially true if there is a new baby in your life that you have spent some time with, but could still be true even if there isn't. I would suggest indulging her when she does this. If she starts acting ...


6

First off, don't treat truth telling as a special event, ie. something that deserves rewards beyond a simple "thank you for being honest". Telling the truth should be normal, expected behavior. If truth telling becomes something that is motivated by rewards, it will only last as long as the rewards do or as long as the rewards are sufficient motivators. (...


0

Easy technical solution: Make "the picker" wear these: https://www.rhinix.com/ Ask me later about effects on the long run, when he stops wearing them ;)


1

You could buy them a cheap pair of toy walkie-talkies so that they can talk to each other whenever they like without climbing and yelling. Of course you might find that they still want to climb and yell because they see that as the fun part. ;)


3

I have a few suggestions, and from how his behaviour is described when he sees his friends, there isn't an issue at school. It seems like he just doesn't want to walk, but instead of getting it done he wants to resist the activity. Bribery rarely fails; Children are usually very happy with even the simplest of rewards and little/often is the key. I can ...


1

Find something that he really likes to do and that you can do at the school's gate while you are waiting. Make it clear that the sooner you arrive, the more time he will have for it. You'll probably have to leave home a few minutes earlier than you would otherwise need. You have to stress the fact that if you arrive late he won't have time for it, but that ...


4

Not knowing your son I can only speculate, but the whole description sorta hits home with me, so here's my stab into the dark and advice: He's probably incredibly bored by school. I know second hand that Japanese schools don't have particularly inventive teaching methods, and he's probably bored by sitting and listening all day to a teacher who may not be ...


-1

Put a paper on the wall where she can draw. She obviously need it, and screaming when she lies about it, or punishing by removing toys when she tells the truth will not make your kid move forward


3

The right course of action really depends on the child. Each child has a different way they learn. There's no hard and fast rule that you can apply, but one thing is for sure: don't let your kid get away with lying. From my own personal experience, the fear of being punished for lying just led to me lying even more (even though I wasn't really punished that ...


3

Playing devil's advocate here: In our neighbourhood (rural Germany, so basically "fence country") most fences separating the backyards have come down except for a few families, like those with a dog. Most children are primary and early secondary school age. They play in one yard or the next, depending on which features their current game requires. Tree ...


5

Kids climb. And brag. And are kind of loud. It's great that yours have parents who let them be kids and do those things, because getting fresh air and exercise, getting in some unstructured, kids-only socialization, and all aspects of unstructured play, all produce indispensable psychological benefits for children as they grow up. They can be a little "wild" ...


1

If he is not experiencing sluggishness in any other context, it would seem unlikely that that is it. Perhaps he is being lazy, seeking attention, or just amusing himself a bit. Even more likely, he is not really looking forward to starting the school day and is, in the way that doesn't seem so nonsensical to young children, "dragging his feet" a little bit ...


2

Children will break things and break the rules from time to time. We have a simple rule system in our family: Make a mistake and immediately confess (ideally with an apology): Reduced consequences - you get a "bonus" for honesty. For small children, we used this as an occasion to emphasize the importance of being honest and to again explain the rules ...


5

One of my 4 year old twins "doesn't have any strength left" whenever he is told to do something he doesn't want to. This will disappear the moment he's distracted by something or someone he does like, just like your son. He may be feeling this physically or not, but it definitely starts in the mind. For my son, it's most often that he was deeply engaged in ...


0

I'd suggest arranging some more structured activities for him to do with his friends. This won't take away the necessity for him to learn how to do free-form play, but it might make play-dates with him more fun for the other kids (and for you). Arrange a craft activity or a board game, take them bowling, anything where the nature of the activity is such ...


12

My nine year old has had similar difficulties, although he does not yet have an official diagnosis. These are some things we found to help: First of all, consider that he doesn't need a lot of friends, he just needs one good one. It can take a while to find one, but there is someone out there who is the right mix of tolerance and kindness and quirkiness ...


1

First of all, I'm glad you've had him seen by a medical professional, because usually that is my first piece of advice. If your gut doesn't tell you that what the doctor diagnosed him with is true, then I highly suggest a second opinion. Like you, I think I'd be a bit hesitant to blindly accept the diagnosis of my child based on watching a video interaction....


1

Yes, you should go to the doctor. My daughter had very similar symptoms - it'd seem like she'd be straining or cramping, then it would pass and she'd be fine. Our pediatrician said "well, might be nothing but... Here let's do a consult with someone..." Ended up being intestinal intussuseption that required a procedure to correct. It's usually a good idea ...


0

I was a picky eater as a child. This used to frustrate my mother enormously. She tried everything she could to get me to eat, it just didn't work. Worse, nowadays (50+ years later) I still feel sick/scared when someone brings me a plate of food I know I cannot finish just because of the stress my mother put me through. Just a few years ago I worked out why ...



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