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67

Children learn how to do things by imitating, so much of this is simple curiosity. ("How does the milk go in the bottle? Does it happen the same way every time? WOW.") But toddlers also start to realize they are independent and have some control over their world. I wouldn't perceive this as a lack of trust, necessarily. Rather, he is checking that you ...


48

A slightly more scientific perspective. A study done called 'You Will Eat All of That! (A retrospective analysis of forced consumption episodes)' found that pressuring children into finishing their food may lower their natural appetite (perhaps because they're being told when and how much to eat, rather than learning naturally). Other studies have also ...


38

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


34

I take what I consider to be a pragmatic approach: if there is no toy which is obviously a gun, kids just make their own (60-80% of boys, 30% of girls, play with "aggressive toys" of some variety). Fingers, sticks, coat hangers (which double as pretty decent fighter planes and space ships, IMHO), pencils/pens, cardboard tubes (packing tubes make great ...


30

I would say that teaching children about a healthy diet is a great first step. But on the same note, some of the foods that are really healthy (whole grains, deep green vegetables) are gassy foods. As for gas sneaking out during practice. I (late 20s) take an adult (mom-grandma ages) yoga class and sometimes during those stretches gas sneaks out. I ...


26

Give him a sensibly-sized splodge on the side of his plate and then put the bottle back in the cupboard and don't get it out again that mealtime.


23

At some point in your child's life they will do things not because you tell them to, but because they are the right thing to do. For example, a 40 year old pays their bills because in this society we pay our bills, not because their mother called and reminded them to pay their bills. As a parent, one of your tasks is to escort your child from the toddler ...


19

Expressing an opinion of not wanting to be near/liking another parent is for the most part very natural for someone of that age, and certainly the opinions need to be explored with the child. Appropriate questioning like "Tell me why you don't want [parent] to join us," spoken in a gentle fashion will help show the child that it is ok for him to have ...


17

Am I really wrong ??? The situation you're in is truly heartbreaking. No one but you can decide for yourself if you're right or wrong. However, other people can share their experiences and beliefs. One question that comes to mind is, would you feel the same exact way if the other person were a male? In other words, if she didn't come out as gay and ...


17

I have some good news and some bad news. Good news is, this behaviour is entirely normal. For the bad news, re-read the good news. At around 2.5+, your child works out that one way to get a little bit more attention is to make you a little less secure about their affection. Anecdotally, my 2-year-old daughter occasionally says "I don't like Daddy", or ...


16

Another anecdote, from an Asian background. When I was growing up, we generally wouldn't have individual portions set out for us on our plates at mealtimes. All the food would be seen as "shared" food - it would be set out in the middle of the table, and we'd start off with a plate of rice (often dished out by negotiation) and help ourselves and others to ...


16

Dropping things over and over again is a known phase. It's a great learning opportunity. You can choose what message to send your toddler and what you want to teach. For example, you might take them out of the highchair the minute they drop anything. Generally, parents who adopt this rule come to regret it, because the minute the child wants out of the ...


15

I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are possibly indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely "normal." The only real issues you ...


15

Sorry this is so long. TL;DR: You can fix this, and do even better than that. You can become a great dad! We always want our children to learn the consequences of their behaviors, believing that it's one of life's most valuable lessons. Now it's your turn to face consequences. There are no quick fixes. You have given your eldest ample evidence that he ...


15

Don't buy salad cream anymore.


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


14

Based on your comments and my own experience, Drop the children off, sign the roster, and go. Do not converse, do not cave, do not look back, do not peek in the window. Most of all do not apologize, or have an apologetic manner or tone of voice. That behavior says to your youngsters: "Mommy did something bad". which will make them worry about what you ...


14

My comment was a little harsh, here is how I feel about this situation: Your daughter is an adult. You have absolutely no right to tell her who she can and cannot befriend. I don't know what this girl has or has not done, but I do know parents almost always hold a bias. I remember growing up, my parents wouldn't let me hang out with certain friends ...


12

Most important then if you should let your child play with toy A or toy B, is what you already posted in your question: What are the effects this kind of play have in the children's psichology? Remember toddlers and young children have trouble separating fantasy from reality. His nightmares and fantasies will seem as real as school to them. You have to ...


11

So this doesn't seem too unusual to me. Many babies prefer to be held, and some more than others. A few suggestions: Have you tried swaddling? The feeling of being wrapped mimics the feeling in the womb, and my babies would not sleep without being swaddled. have you tried a swing? Some babies really like the gentle rocking motion (again, this mimics the ...


11

Both normal and sometimes rather annoying. Falls into the wide, wide category of things the Sears book calls "normal but bothersome toddler behaviour". When he's a bit older he'll be refusing to believe your explanations of things, that's a fun one too.


11

The sample behaviors you describe seem to concern different issues, not all of which I would perceive as materialistic behavior. I would suggest that you explore your feelings of discomfort to find out what is going on with you, what your values are and how you respond to the possibility that your daughter may not share them. It can be hard, I know. In the ...


10

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


10

Buy a bunch of different coloured paper for colage work. Use old paper for papier mache. Explain that ripping up stuff for this is fine, but ripping up other things is not fine, and might be naughty and might have consequences. Explain that she needs to ask before ripping up anything that is not in the craft bucket.


10

I take it you have a cell-phone with recording capabilities? Maybe your parents do as well? Start using them. When you have caught enough of her threats on film, let her go ahead and call the police. They will tell her if she doesn't stop calling for such nonsense, they will write out a ticket or might even haul her in to show her what calling the police for ...


10

Ultimately it's self-limiting. As he gets older it'll hurt more (partly as he'll be stronger) and he will stop. Our boys all did this and we didn't discourage it but put boundaries around it -- "You can do that in the bath, but not out the bath". And then of course as they got older (3-5) and they went through another phase of doing it we made the rule that ...


10

At 6 yrs old he is definitely old enough to start understand the basics of healthy eating. Smothering sauce on things isn't healthy (as you do seem concerned about). So sit down and talk to him. Tell him that sauce is an extra and isn't healthy in large quantities. Tell him there is a time an a place for things and that he needs to learn when certain sauces ...


9

Toddlers this age (and younger) bite. That's just a fact. Most of them outgrow it fairly unceremoniously. They bite for a number of reasons, three of which are 1) reaction, 2) attention, and 3) frustration. Usually this frustration stems from not being able to "use their words" to adequately express their frustration. To combat this, show him all the time ...


9

I don't think your older son really has a choice in being okay with it or not. If the friend and the younger child want to be friends, hang out, and do stuff together, your son can either tag along and be cool with it or find another friend. Your older son is not in possession of this friend. He's not a toy that he can refuse to let his younger brother ...


9

The first question is: when is it right to give advice? The second question is: what qualifications must you have to give advice when it's needed? In most circumstances, it's not wise to give any advice to people who have not asked for it. If the recipient doesn't think they need it, they aren't going to listen to it anyway. All the advice giver will do is ...



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