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65

Children learn how to do things by imitating, so much of this is simple curiosity. ("How does the milk go in the bottle? Does it happen the same way every time? WOW.") But toddlers also start to realize they are independent and have some control over their world. I wouldn't perceive this as a lack of trust, necessarily. Rather, he is checking that you ...


47

A slightly more scientific perspective. A study done called 'You Will Eat All of That! (A retrospective analysis of forced consumption episodes)' found that pressuring children into finishing their food may lower their natural appetite (perhaps because they're being told when and how much to eat, rather than learning naturally). Other studies have also ...


34

I take what I consider to be a pragmatic approach: if there is no toy which is obviously a gun, kids just make their own (60-80% of boys, 30% of girls, play with "aggressive toys" of some variety). Fingers, sticks, coat hangers (which double as pretty decent fighter planes and space ships, IMHO), pencils/pens, cardboard tubes (packing tubes make great ...


33

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


30

I would say that teaching children about a healthy diet is a great first step. But on the same note, some of the foods that are really healthy (whole grains, deep green vegetables) are gassy foods. As for gas sneaking out during practice. I (late 20s) take an adult (mom-grandma ages) yoga class and sometimes during those stretches gas sneaks out. I ...


24

TL;DR Version: Having a separate room for a child is generally a luxury that not everyone has, and the options that it opens up for those who have the opportunity to try it can be attractive. Bed sharing is generally not recommended for health/safety reasons, so room sharing while avoiding bed sharing may be problematic or completely impractical. First, ...


17

I had a friend whose son did the exact same thing. He played constantly with toy cars, and all he did was carefully line them up end-to-end. I'm not sure if you had a specific concern, but I'd say it's not only "normal", but it's also fairly common.


17

First of all, if the child is sleeping with us, we can't engage in any other bed-suitable activities than sleeping. At least I think that sex is out of the question if our child sleeps with us. Secondly, it may be difficult for the child to learn to sleep without parents later on. At one time or another it will have to happen and the transition may be ...


16

Dropping things over and over again is a known phase. It's a great learning opportunity. You can choose what message to send your toddler and what you want to teach. For example, you might take them out of the highchair the minute they drop anything. Generally, parents who adopt this rule come to regret it, because the minute the child wants out of the ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


14

I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are possibly indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely "normal." The only real issues you ...


13

I would tell her that just because we’re interested in someone and mean them well, we don’t have a right to invade their privacy, or involve ourselves in their sensitive affairs. The three exceptions I can think of would be if the other person is a close friend. (Your daughter can’t be that close to Jon or she would know about Jack.) if doing so would ...


13

Most important then if you should let your child play with toy A or toy B, is what you already posted in your question: What are the effects this kind of play have in the children's psichology? Remember toddlers and young children have trouble separating fantasy from reality. His nightmares and fantasies will seem as real as school to them. You have to ...


13

Sorry this is so long. TL;DR: You can fix this, and do even better than that. You can become a great dad! We always want our children to learn the consequences of their behaviors, believing that it's one of life's most valuable lessons. Now it's your turn to face consequences. There are no quick fixes. You have given your eldest ample evidence that he ...


11

Kids are hardwired to figure out who they are and how they fit in, and by an early age they have figured out gender and what that means - it's one of the first layers of identity. Studies have shown that even when the parents have very liberal gender views, kids still see past that to the wider societal view. I am not convinced, personally, that this is a ...


11

Another anecdote, from an Asian background. When I was growing up, we generally wouldn't have individual portions set out for us on our plates at mealtimes. All the food would be seen as "shared" food - it would be set out in the middle of the table, and we'd start off with a plate of rice (often dished out by negotiation) and help ourselves and others to ...


11

Both normal and sometimes rather annoying. Falls into the wide, wide category of things the Sears book calls "normal but bothersome toddler behaviour". When he's a bit older he'll be refusing to believe your explanations of things, that's a fun one too.


10

I've heard that one! My response was always, "Mmm." In one small sound I conveyed that I had heard them, I wasn't going to argue with them (they are entitled to their opinion after all), and I was not changing my mind about whatever it was they were unhappy about. "You're mean!" is a child telling you he is angry and that he disagrees with you. He is using ...


10

I think this one may be a bit of an judgement call for each example, but mine would be this. Your 4 year-old daughter is not bad for disagreeing with you about whether she's able to handle a bread-knife safely, and it's good to allow her to sulk or to challenge that boundary, as long as she's polite about it. But you don't let her pick up the knife. The ...


10

I would add that there are significant cultural differences between the US and to some extent other western countries (particularly British-origin cultures) and eastern countries (and even some 'western' countries) that make this a very different issue for the two cultures. I'm going to use 'Americans' here as that is my experience, but I believe some of ...


10

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


10

So this doesn't seem too unusual to me. Many babies prefer to be held, and some more than others. A few suggestions: Have you tried swaddling? The feeling of being wrapped mimics the feeling in the womb, and my babies would not sleep without being swaddled. have you tried a swing? Some babies really like the gentle rocking motion (again, this mimics the ...


9

Yes, it is common for toddlers to cry when things are not in order. Why? First off, at that age, kids like consistency because it offers a sense of security. Knowing things are always in their place means that other, more important things will also always be in their place - like mommy and daddy will always come home, food will always be on the table, ...


9

Although your son's behaviour might be strange to some people, it seems perfectly fine. Some children are daydreamers and your son seems to be one too. He lives in his own world and thoughts, so he just stands there and stares into open space. He forgets about the lunch and other activities, because they are not important to him or because he dreamed while ...


9

The first question is: when is it right to give advice? The second question is: what qualifications must you have to give advice when it's needed? In most circumstances, it's not wise to give any advice to people who have not asked for it. If the recipient doesn't think they need it, they aren't going to listen to it anyway. All the advice giver will do is ...


9

From what you've typed, you're clearly overwhelmed at the moment. Step 1: Day without Child Arrange for a day where your child is either at their grandparent's, at the father's, at a nursery/creche, anywhere safe, when you can relax, get some sleep and move on to the further steps. Until you get a bare minimum of distance for a day, it's really hard to ...


8

My daughter was the same way with her kitten when we first got it (no mouring issues at the same time). Rather than thinking it was about her considering the cat her toy, it was more like an over-exuberance of love for the cat and wanting to have it near all the time. We spoke with her about how true love is shown with respect for the needs and wishes of ...


8

The way your question is worded implies that you see boys liking these toys but not girls. Modern culture is the reason. There is absolutely no reason for kids not to like trains, and where cultural biases are not too strong, girls love trains and cars just as much. In general, children should enjoy toys that they can build multiple things from (eg Lego, ...


8

I'd say you've inadvertently let him develop a pattern. He's found he can lie and the world doesn't end, it's comfortable, and now it's what he does... plus he's got a challenge, because he can see if he keeps trying, he may get good enough to fool you. I wouldn't keep increasing the punishment. You'll either run out of stuff in your arsenal or the ...


8

It's a fairly normal thing, I'd say. My daughter spends ages every night ensuring that all her cuddly toys are in exactly the right position. Some kids simply like things to be just so.



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