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27

The simple answer, although I suspect it is the answer you don't want to hear, is that you need to limit your son's exposure to your friend's daughter, and make sure that the interactions are supervised (by you, not just your friend!). I have to admit I'm not familiar with the "Conscious and Peaceful Parenting Approach", but this has all the earmarks of ...


19

TL;DR Version: Having a separate room for a child is generally a luxury that not everyone has, and the options that it opens up for those who have the opportunity to try it can be attractive. Bed sharing is generally not recommended for health/safety reasons, so room sharing while avoiding bed sharing may be problematic or completely impractical. First, ...


17

You are dealing with two issues here: stool toileting refusal and the associated constipation. Constipation: Your doctor is probably recommending an enema because an impaction is preventing defecation at this point. I have an acquaintance who has had success in this same situation using a commercial suppository that is administered by eyedropper – you ...


16

First of all, if the child is sleeping with us, we can't engage in any other bed-suitable activities than sleeping. At least I think that sex is out of the question if our child sleeps with us. Secondly, it may be difficult for the child to learn to sleep without parents later on. At one time or another it will have to happen and the transition may be ...


15

I don't know about the "frightening the child" aspect - personally I think frightening / shocking a child who tries to do something dangerous, like run into the road (eg by shouting loudly) is quite effective. But I think the thing that all your examples have in common is that the parent is appealing to an external authority (God, ghost, policeman) to be ...


15

My daughter is 16 months (the "terrible twos" begin in the second year of life, remember) and we've always been conscious about discouraging, politely but firmly, any behaviors that cause physical injury. She may not understand all of the words we say, but a firm "no" is pretty well-ingrained as a signal that she's about to get plunked in her crib for 15 ...


14

I feel for you. My son is only 2, and the repetition is already very frustrating. Unfortunately, repeating yourself, calmly yet firmly, is the best way to get through to your kids. While the temptation to resort to yelling is hard to resist (and you're not alone! This article references studies that show that nearly all parents do so at some point), I ...


14

I think you are falling into the trap that so many parents (including myself sometimes) get into, which is trying to win. You aren't engaging in a shouting match (which is to be commended), however you are engaging in a battle of wills with the strong eye contact and body language. You both see it as a contest, and a contest must have a victor. It's the same ...


13

Having been bullied in more than one school, I can provide these observations from the "victim" perspective: bullies enjoy being mean more than being kind bullies enjoy the attention they get from others who think their behavior is cool (make ten people laugh by making one person sad) bullies encourage each other bullies are compensating for something ...


13

I would tell her that just because we’re interested in someone and mean them well, we don’t have a right to invade their privacy, or involve ourselves in their sensitive affairs. The three exceptions I can think of would be if the other person is a close friend. (Your daughter can’t be that close to Jon or she would know about Jack.) if doing so would ...


12

Given his age he probably spends a fair amount of time in a school bus and with peers in school. These situations are rich sources of interesting vocabulary and he will actually need some of this just to keep up. That is perfectly normal at this age, and there is nothing you can do to totally prevent him from using this kind of words. In our house we set ...


12

Parents First I assume your sister is the mother. Why isn't she (or his father) talking to him about it? Not that you can't or shouldn't, just feels like it should come from the parents first. Plus the perspective of a girl would probably be good as well, as she could explain why this situation would make her feel bad if she were the girl being asked like ...


12

It is never too late to teach your kid where money comes from and what it is worth. Since he is a student, his opportunities to earn will be somewhat restricted. Here is what I would do I would tell him that I don't want to have to evaluate individual requests like "Can I have a car?" or "Can I have $100 to go out for the evening?" Instead I want to ...


11

Stop struggling with your child. Stop fighting with your child. Stop vying for power with your child. Control the things you can. You decide what food you buy, where you guys live, which school he attends, who your family spends time with... You cannot control him. You cannot control his every behaviour, his every action. Make yourself clear. Explain ...


11

Your friend is being inconsistent. Her daughter doesn't like having her hand restrained? Does she think perhaps your son enjoys being hit? Talk about "violates bodily boundaries"! It's true that toddlers will naturally hit and bite. One of the roles of a parent is to intervene and to teach other ways of expressing feelings. Without that help, a toddler can ...


11

They are determining some of the properties of the object: can I lift it? how much does it weigh? is it soft or hard? what kind of noise does it make when shaken, or when banged against something? it is symmetrical, or is one end heavier than the other? what do my parents feel about my doing this with it? The banging may be accidental - you give them ...


10

Your first question is what causes a child to become a bully, and there are many possible causes, most of which directly relate to low self-esteem: observing parents and siblings exhibiting bullying behavior being victimized by a bully receiving negative messages or physical punishment or experiencing controlling behaviors at home or school living in a ...


10

Is there any way to give him some control over the leave-taking? I'm thinking of something like what we do with daycare and night-times (kids push us out of the room), that he could do when it's time to leave the playdate. Maybe have a kiss/hug be the bye-bye signal? Or maybe you could tell him, "Okay, hon, in 5 minutes we will give a hug to our friends ...


10

Honestly, in my opinion, get a babysitter for things like a theater outing. Or give up theater night. A theater is no place for a child, much less one of such a young age. Children at that age don't understand reasoning and logic yet, so they can't understand why they need to be quiet, despite their extreme boredom and frustration. Children need attention ...


10

I've heard that one! My response was always, "Mmm." In one small sound I conveyed that I had heard them, I wasn't going to argue with them (they are entitled to their opinion after all), and I was not changing my mind about whatever it was they were unhappy about. "You're mean!" is a child telling you he is angry and that he disagrees with you. He is using ...


10

I think this one may be a bit of an judgement call for each example, but mine would be this. Your 4 year-old daughter is not bad for disagreeing with you about whether she's able to handle a bread-knife safely, and it's good to allow her to sulk or to challenge that boundary, as long as she's polite about it. But you don't let her pick up the knife. The ...


9

At 19, don't be too sure the mindset he presents to you regarding material entitlement is one he actually believes in. He may simply being trying to manipulate you into giving him what he wants. It sounds like he pushes for these things because it works (at least sometimes). Even if you haven't ever given in to his requests for money, fancy clothes, or ...


9

Small traumas are a part of life, and learning to accept that is part of growing up. Some thoughts: Talk about it. When discussing the incident use calming language: It was an accident, and sometimes accidents happen. One time I had an accident (describe briefly) and I hurt my leg (or whatever). It scared me, but then after a while I didn't really think ...


9

Is it possible/feasible for him to spend more time with your family without his parents around? Since his parents don't seem to be particularly interested in discipline and their son's behavior, his best bet for a calm, predictable environment is your home. The more time he's around an environment where there are predictable consequences for behaviors ...


9

I would add that there are significant cultural differences between the US and to some extent other western countries (particularly British-origin cultures) and eastern countries (and even some 'western' countries) that make this a very different issue for the two cultures. I'm going to use 'Americans' here as that is my experience, but I believe some of ...


8

This is something that actually varies from child to child! My daughter is patient and easy-going, and has always dealt fairly well with concepts of time and delayed gratification. My older son, in contrast, has almost no sense of time (he was five before he really figured out "tomorrow" and "yesterday" and "next week" and "in a minute" were not ...


8

I have a 7-year-old daughter, she's started to pick up some rough language as well. There is no way we can prevent kids from learning bad language. Instead of focusing on some words as bad and others good, our approach is to focus on behavior. Saying a word isn't bad. But using it to hurt someone is. So if my daughter says idiot out of context, I let it ...


8

Immediately, off the bat, I recommend to never, ever give in to this type of behavior. Also make it clear that it is unacceptable. When he begins to whine, cry, and throw a fit, there should be no more "Ok, just 5 more minutes". This only helps to encourage the behavior. You need to control the situation and by doing that you take a little less control away ...


8

When dealing with a two year old, we are often reminded "tell them what to do, not what not to do." For example encouraging a child to "use your inside voice" rather than "don't yell" or "walking is safer on the stairs" rather than "don't run". It's not that different with a ten year old. You are just telling him "don't tease your sister". What should he do ...


8

I think her reaction is not unusual. Her safe space was violated, and it takes a while for it to start feeling safe again. My parents had similar reactions when their home was broken into: startling at shadows and sudden sounds, fitful sleep, and some apprehension when entering the house. It goes away slowly. My gut reaction is to offer as much comfort as ...



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