Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

89

Kids that age learn a lot by imaginative play. It's how they make sense of the world and experiment with different responses to events. Pretending to be an adult is very common. Playing along is a good opportunity to show empathy and teach better responses. You might say, I'm Eric. I'm sad because I couldn't find my toy. I wonder if I should cry or ask ...


74

Children learn how to do things by imitating, so much of this is simple curiosity. ("How does the milk go in the bottle? Does it happen the same way every time? WOW.") But toddlers also start to realize they are independent and have some control over their world. I wouldn't perceive this as a lack of trust, necessarily. Rather, he is checking that you ...


68

Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? Sure, just as acceptable as it would be for you to ask a fellow passenger to get off their phone or stop swaying to the music in their earphones. It's not against the law to request another person stop acting in a way that bothers you. There's lots of people ...


34

I take what I consider to be a pragmatic approach: if there is no toy which is obviously a gun, kids just make their own (60-80% of boys, 30% of girls, play with "aggressive toys" of some variety). Fingers, sticks, coat hangers (which double as pretty decent fighter planes and space ships, IMHO), pencils/pens, cardboard tubes (packing tubes make great ...


30

When a toddler exhibits behaviour like this they are struggling to communicate, and they are struggling to regulate an emotion. It is very hard for parents, when confronted by deliberate "naughtiness" like pooping on a floor, to maintain loving calmness. As I understand it there are two aims: 1) help him develop confidence to play alone and entertain ...


30

I would say that teaching children about a healthy diet is a great first step. But on the same note, some of the foods that are really healthy (whole grains, deep green vegetables) are gassy foods. As for gas sneaking out during practice. I (late 20s) take an adult (mom-grandma ages) yoga class and sometimes during those stretches gas sneaks out. I ...


28

Often the solution here is as simple as reframing the request. So if he is playing with blocks and it's time to leave for school, no matter how much advance notice you give and no matter that you leave for school at the same time every day, when you announce "time to leave for school!" he may well resist and refuse and generally push back. So try asking ...


26

It tells just how much he sees you as role model. Instead of seeing this as abnormal you should be the role model he deserves. Other than that do understand that this behaviour will stop after some time. You only need to worry if this does not stop and causes complications. Hope I helped. P.S.: When I was a child I used to wear my father's army uniform. ...


26

I can relate; I cannot tune out noise either (never have been able to), and it does add to my stress level. People noise is especially distressing to me, though particularly when I'm trying to get something done that requires (for me) relative quiet. Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? And if so, ...


26

Give him a sensibly-sized splodge on the side of his plate and then put the bottle back in the cupboard and don't get it out again that mealtime.


23

In my opinion, if you aren't willing to consider corporal punishment, you are unnecessarily restricting your options. If you don't believe in it but are willing to consider it, I will present the case for it as my experience shows it to be the most effective method for raising a happy, healthy, well-behaved child while fostering a loving relationship. In my ...


22

At some point in your child's life they will do things not because you tell them to, but because they are the right thing to do. For example, a 40 year old pays their bills because in this society we pay our bills, not because their mother called and reminded them to pay their bills. As a parent, one of your tasks is to escort your child from the toddler ...


21

The best thing you can do is to politely request that they try to quiet their child. Maybe phrase it something like this: I'm sorry to bother you, but I am trying to work on this / having a really stressful day / etc. and your daughter's high pitched talking is really bothering me. Can you please try to quiet her down a bit? I'd really ...


19

Expressing an opinion of not wanting to be near/liking another parent is for the most part very natural for someone of that age, and certainly the opinions need to be explored with the child. Appropriate questioning like "Tell me why you don't want [parent] to join us," spoken in a gentle fashion will help show the child that it is ok for him to have ...


18

Am I really wrong ??? The situation you're in is truly heartbreaking. No one but you can decide for yourself if you're right or wrong. However, other people can share their experiences and beliefs. One question that comes to mind is, would you feel the same exact way if the other person were a male? In other words, if she didn't come out as gay and ...


17

I have some good news and some bad news. Good news is, this behaviour is entirely normal. For the bad news, re-read the good news. At around 2.5+, your child works out that one way to get a little bit more attention is to make you a little less secure about their affection. Anecdotally, my 2-year-old daughter occasionally says "I don't like Daddy", or ...


16

A polite request to the parent, in most situations, would not be taken amiss. In particular with a small amount of information as to why you're specifically asking. Hello, Ma'am, I'm sorry but I have a bit of a headache today. If it's possible could you ask your child to lower her voice some? Thank you. Be very specific as to the particular behavior ...


16

I'd say that having a coping strategy ready for this is going to be much more valuable to you than attempting to stop someone else making annoying noises. A set of professional / musician earplugs, for example, can make a huge difference with general & background noise reduction while not preventing you from hearing other people speak to you. Your ...


15

I had some entertaining experience with a loud boy in the bus. In order to overcome the issue I created an Origami bird and showed the boy how the bird can move its wings. The boy was amazed and spend 15 minutes with the bird. Finally, the bird was destroyed and the boy became quiet - I think he was sad he cannot recreated the bird... In my opinion this non ...


15

Sorry this is so long. TL;DR: You can fix this, and do even better than that. You can become a great dad! We always want our children to learn the consequences of their behaviors, believing that it's one of life's most valuable lessons. Now it's your turn to face consequences. There are no quick fixes. You have given your eldest ample evidence that he ...


15

My comment was a little harsh, here is how I feel about this situation: Your daughter is an adult. You have absolutely no right to tell her who she can and cannot befriend. I don't know what this girl has or has not done, but I do know parents almost always hold a bias. I remember growing up, my parents wouldn't let me hang out with certain friends ...


15

Don't buy salad cream anymore.


14

Based on your comments and my own experience, Drop the children off, sign the roster, and go. Do not converse, do not cave, do not look back, do not peek in the window. Most of all do not apologize, or have an apologetic manner or tone of voice. That behavior says to your youngsters: "Mommy did something bad". which will make them worry about what you ...


13

I don't know if it's the case for you, but one thing I see a lot of parents of strong-willed children do repeatedly is ask a question, then get frustrated when the child answers in the negative. If a negative answer is not acceptable, then don't ask a question! Reserve questions for when you are honestly okay with any response. Bad: Do you want to go ...


12

Some ideas: Hunger/thirst: My cranky small humans get crankier when they're hungry or thirsty, and if I can see the clouds gathering, I can often head off the storm by offering a snack or a drink. Have you been able to see the grumpiness coming in time to head it off at all? Independent play: We've had success with helping our kids learn to play ...


12

Most important then if you should let your child play with toy A or toy B, is what you already posted in your question: What are the effects this kind of play have in the children's psichology? Remember toddlers and young children have trouble separating fantasy from reality. His nightmares and fantasies will seem as real as school to them. You have to ...


12

Ultimately it's self-limiting. As he gets older it'll hurt more (partly as he'll be stronger) and he will stop. Our boys all did this and we didn't discourage it but put boundaries around it -- "You can do that in the bath, but not out the bath". And then of course as they got older (3-5) and they went through another phase of doing it we made the rule that ...


11

I'm not a parent myself, but two points: 1) You could argue that no, it's not just 'cute'. Imagining yourself in someone else's position is the very basis of empathy and all that is worthwhile in humanity :-) 2) Describing himself in the third person, from the POV of you or someone else, can sometimes be a mechanism to put distance between himself and ...


11

How did you get to be good at the planning part of the game? More than likely, through experience. Even for a naturally gifted strategist such as myself, I didn't know how to plan strategy at eight years old. In fact, I can tell you exactly when I learned: around ten years old. That's when I learned to beat my dad at chess. My dad wasn't particularly ...


11

Both normal and sometimes rather annoying. Falls into the wide, wide category of things the Sears book calls "normal but bothersome toddler behaviour". When he's a bit older he'll be refusing to believe your explanations of things, that's a fun one too.



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible