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41

A slightly more scientific perspective. A study done called 'You Will Eat All of That! (A retrospective analysis of forced consumption episodes)' found that pressuring children into finishing their food may lower their natural appetite (perhaps because they're being told when and how much to eat, rather than learning naturally). Other studies have also ...


30

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


24

TL;DR Version: Having a separate room for a child is generally a luxury that not everyone has, and the options that it opens up for those who have the opportunity to try it can be attractive. Bed sharing is generally not recommended for health/safety reasons, so room sharing while avoiding bed sharing may be problematic or completely impractical. First, ...


17

I had a friend whose son did the exact same thing. He played constantly with toy cars, and all he did was carefully line them up end-to-end. I'm not sure if you had a specific concern, but I'd say it's not only "normal", but it's also fairly common.


17

First of all, if the child is sleeping with us, we can't engage in any other bed-suitable activities than sleeping. At least I think that sex is out of the question if our child sleeps with us. Secondly, it may be difficult for the child to learn to sleep without parents later on. At one time or another it will have to happen and the transition may be ...


14

It is never too late to teach your kid where money comes from and what it is worth. Since he is a student, his opportunities to earn will be somewhat restricted. Here is what I would do I would tell him that I don't want to have to evaluate individual requests like "Can I have a car?" or "Can I have $100 to go out for the evening?" Instead I want to ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


13

I would tell her that just because we’re interested in someone and mean them well, we don’t have a right to invade their privacy, or involve ourselves in their sensitive affairs. The three exceptions I can think of would be if the other person is a close friend. (Your daughter can’t be that close to Jon or she would know about Jack.) if doing so would ...


13

I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are possibly indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely "normal." The only real issues you ...


13

Dropping things over and over again is a known phase. It's a great learning opportunity. You can choose what message to send your toddler and what you want to teach. For example, you might take them out of the highchair the minute they drop anything. Generally, parents who adopt this rule come to regret it, because the minute the child wants out of the ...


12

Parents First I assume your sister is the mother. Why isn't she (or his father) talking to him about it? Not that you can't or shouldn't, just feels like it should come from the parents first. Plus the perspective of a girl would probably be good as well, as she could explain why this situation would make her feel bad if she were the girl being asked like ...


11

They are determining some of the properties of the object: can I lift it? how much does it weigh? is it soft or hard? what kind of noise does it make when shaken, or when banged against something? it is symmetrical, or is one end heavier than the other? what do my parents feel about my doing this with it? The banging may be accidental - you give them ...


11

Kids are hardwired to figure out who they are and how they fit in, and by an early age they have figured out gender and what that means - it's one of the first layers of identity. Studies have shown that even when the parents have very liberal gender views, kids still see past that to the wider societal view. I am not convinced, personally, that this is a ...


10

Honestly, in my opinion, get a babysitter for things like a theater outing. Or give up theater night. A theater is no place for a child, much less one of such a young age. Children at that age don't understand reasoning and logic yet, so they can't understand why they need to be quiet, despite their extreme boredom and frustration. Children need attention ...


10

This is entirely subjective according to where you live. In some places any nudity at all, even in children, is unacceptable. In other places nudity at any age is acceptable. In the UK I think that 3 and a half is ok, by the time they are five it's generally expected for them to have trunks on in public, in fact that's pushing it a bit. In the US once they ...


10

Small traumas are a part of life, and learning to accept that is part of growing up. Some thoughts: Talk about it. When discussing the incident use calming language: It was an accident, and sometimes accidents happen. One time I had an accident (describe briefly) and I hurt my leg (or whatever). It scared me, but then after a while I didn't really think ...


10

I've heard that one! My response was always, "Mmm." In one small sound I conveyed that I had heard them, I wasn't going to argue with them (they are entitled to their opinion after all), and I was not changing my mind about whatever it was they were unhappy about. "You're mean!" is a child telling you he is angry and that he disagrees with you. He is using ...


10

I think this one may be a bit of an judgement call for each example, but mine would be this. Your 4 year-old daughter is not bad for disagreeing with you about whether she's able to handle a bread-knife safely, and it's good to allow her to sulk or to challenge that boundary, as long as she's polite about it. But you don't let her pick up the knife. The ...


10

I would add that there are significant cultural differences between the US and to some extent other western countries (particularly British-origin cultures) and eastern countries (and even some 'western' countries) that make this a very different issue for the two cultures. I'm going to use 'Americans' here as that is my experience, but I believe some of ...


10

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


9

WWooowww... Mirror image of my own situation, see my post. I have no answer, but I have suggestions. I came to the conclusion that puberty, social trailblazing and the change in the properties of school all kind of combined to make this kind of "what the hell is going on in my life!" soup for my daughter. The thing that seems to have worked to a point ...


9

At 19, don't be too sure the mindset he presents to you regarding material entitlement is one he actually believes in. He may simply being trying to manipulate you into giving him what he wants. It sounds like he pushes for these things because it works (at least sometimes). Even if you haven't ever given in to his requests for money, fancy clothes, or ...


9

I think her reaction is not unusual. Her safe space was violated, and it takes a while for it to start feeling safe again. My parents had similar reactions when their home was broken into: startling at shadows and sudden sounds, fitful sleep, and some apprehension when entering the house. It goes away slowly. My gut reaction is to offer as much comfort as ...


9

Is it possible/feasible for him to spend more time with your family without his parents around? Since his parents don't seem to be particularly interested in discipline and their son's behavior, his best bet for a calm, predictable environment is your home. The more time he's around an environment where there are predictable consequences for behaviors ...


9

Yes, it is common for toddlers to cry when things are not in order. Why? First off, at that age, kids like consistency because it offers a sense of security. Knowing things are always in their place means that other, more important things will also always be in their place - like mommy and daddy will always come home, food will always be on the table, ...


9

Although your son's behaviour might be strange to some people, it seems perfectly fine. Some children are daydreamers and your son seems to be one too. He lives in his own world and thoughts, so he just stands there and stares into open space. He forgets about the lunch and other activities, because they are not important to him or because he dreamed while ...


8

I would advise against cutting ties or confronting. Cutting ties punishes the child for something that is really not his fault. He needs allies in the family. Confrontation could do the same, it is unlikely to help, and it introduces a negative dynamic into the larger family that you will never be able to take back. These people aren't raising their son ...


8

My daughter was the same way with her kitten when we first got it (no mouring issues at the same time). Rather than thinking it was about her considering the cat her toy, it was more like an over-exuberance of love for the cat and wanting to have it near all the time. We spoke with her about how true love is shown with respect for the needs and wishes of ...


8

The way your question is worded implies that you see boys liking these toys but not girls. Modern culture is the reason. There is absolutely no reason for kids not to like trains, and where cultural biases are not too strong, girls love trains and cars just as much. In general, children should enjoy toys that they can build multiple things from (eg Lego, ...



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