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16

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


9

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


6

Yes, it is common for toddlers to cry when things are not in order. Why? First off, at that age, kids like consistency because it offers a sense of security. Knowing things are always in their place means that other, more important things will also always be in their place - like mommy and daddy will always come home, food will always be on the table, ...


6

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


4

My daughter has some autistic characteristics, although she hasn't been officially diagnosed because her cerebral palsy symptoms are overwhelming. Observing anger and violence makes her laugh, the same as watching slapstick humor. My theory is that this is due to her difficulty empathizing. If you take the emotions out of the picture, someone being angry ...


4

The primary motivator for many children is attention. If the behaviors he is exhibiting are getting attention from you and others, you might try removing that incentive. This will take much discipline on your part, but if you can stick to your guns, you might be able to shift his behavior. Examples He wants to learn something but doesn't want to put in ...


4

Young boys at that age are actually discovering attraction, it seems normal, but the child does need male advice. If there is no father around, a sensible uncle, teacher or close friend of the family can help. The most important issue is to point out the difference in LIKING a girl and LOVING her. Secondly, explain the fact that we will have many rejections ...


4

Raising a child is not a game of chess. There is not a "next move." When I was 12 was the last time I was spanked. It was by my mother. I couldn't help but laugh at her attempt. My very strong timber-faller stepdad then assaulted me by kicking and punching me. Do you know what lesson I learned? Despise him. 25 years later, that is the sum of my memory ...


3

You can try the following but I'm not sure how well it works for this kind of situation. You acknowledge that the child is crying and that to them they have a valid reason for doing so. You tell them to use words. You tell them that you cannot understand them when they are crying and that to help them you need to hear them. You ask them what the problem ...


3

So far your well-meaning efforts have been directed towards the symptom: his misbehaving. Addressing the symptom, however, will not resolve the underlying cause. From this rather short narrative (in terms of a psychoanalysis), it is simply not possible to determine the underlying cause. However, consider these points: You said that your child is doing ...


3

It is unlikely it is ADHD, but the only one to diagnose that is a trained therapist (which I am not). It is extremely rare that ADHD is diagnosed first in adults, but it does happen (as it did with me, for example.) ADHD, however, isn't the only mental "illness" out there, as I am sure you know. Therapy is unlikely to hurt, so why not try it? Something ...


3

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


2

(Sorry if this is posting as two comments; having trouble with the commenting format.) Where you say "we have had troubles due to my loss of job last year and our possible eviction. This has led to many behaviors such as lying, stealing..." - this begs the question of why the child's behavior is being attributed to your adult problems. Is it not more likely ...


2

How can his parents help him to understand, that those behaviors tend to push off other people... Do you want him to understand, on an intellectual level, that these behaviors push off other people? Or do you want him to stop those behaviors? The former is a challenge for six-year-olds, and does not reliably lead to the latter. (Think of all the adults ...


2

It sounds like what you need is a time-out when this happens. If you're angry and she's laughing, just get in the habit of saying "Okay, we need a break; let's talk about this again in ten minutes when we've had time to cool down." Have a conversation about this with her, and tell her that she should do the same (suggest a cool off period). Talking when ...


2

Another reason: a higher vantage point than they're used to. It's hard for us to realize how limited kiddo's perspective can be from down low. Sitting on our laps puts them up at a similar eye level to us that's still a notable novelty. My bored son can suddenly find his unchange environment enthralling for another five minutes just by virtue of being lifted ...


2

It appears there has been a complete erosion of respect, on both sides of this relationship. I highly recommend seeking outside, trained (be it pastoral care or professional) assistance in rebuilding a foundation of trust & respect. 13 is tough age to start this process, but it is doable. It will take time. I also suggest learning collaborative ...


2

Whatever you are doing is clearly not working. Doing more of the same will give more of the same result. If you have already taken everything from your daughter then she now has nothing to lose; this puts you in a position of weakness and makes the situation even more difficult. Perhaps what you need to a "reset" in your relationship with your daughters. ...


2

A few more possibilities to consider: A cranky tummy, particularly when recently fed. Young babies gastrointestinal system may not be moving things along smoothly. You can try and figure this out by seeing how baby responds to different positions. One good test to differentiate "tummy" from lonely / bored is to lie down on your back, with baby on your ...


2

As a young infant, my daughter tried to throw a kind of tantrum over some little thing in a restaurant. There was nothing that could be done to make it better. I calmly picked her up and took her out to sit by ourselves in the car while my wife finished her meal. My daughter was getting old enough to understand simple conversation, so I explained that we ...


2

Toddlers cry for the strangest of reasons. My favorite of many stories I heard is "He cried because he wasn't allowed to lick the dog." So I wouldn't take this too serious for now. His crying might either be just random, or it might be an indication that you are enforcing rules to strictly (can't tell from your question). If you think that might be the ...


1

I think the crying is not so much about things not being just-so, as it is about the toddler not having control over the world. Being able to control things is a new feature of a toddler's life, and, as with all skills just acquired, toddlers (and babies) tend to practice them to degrees that are unusual for us. My son who just turned three is the same. In ...


1

Have you checked her for the symptoms of reflux/silent reflux? Dr Sears' book had a good set of symptoms that were a help for us when we were trying to find the problem. Google it for more info through http://www.babycenter.com.au/a567208/reflux was a good overview. She might need some help with managing it if she does have it. It went away by 10 months for ...


1

This is as much a problem with adults as children. Think of your work situation. You start the year, your boss (implicitly or explicitly) says "Do a good job this year and you will get a raise". Twelve months later, you're told you didn't do a good enough job and don't get a raise. Alternately, your boss has a list of goals, and periodically discusses ...


1

First, your child is not at odds with you or anyone else -- not in his view. I hated when people would try to teach me things. At a very young age I even declared openly to my mother that I would not learn from her mistakes; that sometimes learning from my own mistakes was the best way to learn. You said, "especially if he is not able to do it himself ...


1

Karl Bielefeldt's answer is fantastic, but I would also consider the possibility that perhaps your boy is engaging in attention-getting behavior. You mentioned that he is fantastic at home with a special needs and two-year-old sibling. You also said he has previously been getting good grades and judging by your post I'm assuming he's been well behaved up ...



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