Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

68

Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? Sure, just as acceptable as it would be for you to ask a fellow passenger to get off their phone or stop swaying to the music in their earphones. It's not against the law to request another person stop acting in a way that bothers you. There's lots of people ...


26

I can relate; I cannot tune out noise either (never have been able to), and it does add to my stress level. People noise is especially distressing to me, though particularly when I'm trying to get something done that requires (for me) relative quiet. Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? And if so, ...


21

The best thing you can do is to politely request that they try to quiet their child. Maybe phrase it something like this: I'm sorry to bother you, but I am trying to work on this / having a really stressful day / etc. and your daughter's high pitched talking is really bothering me. Can you please try to quiet her down a bit? I'd really ...


16

I'd say that having a coping strategy ready for this is going to be much more valuable to you than attempting to stop someone else making annoying noises. A set of professional / musician earplugs, for example, can make a huge difference with general & background noise reduction while not preventing you from hearing other people speak to you. Your ...


16

A polite request to the parent, in most situations, would not be taken amiss. In particular with a small amount of information as to why you're specifically asking. Hello, Ma'am, I'm sorry but I have a bit of a headache today. If it's possible could you ask your child to lower her voice some? Thank you. Be very specific as to the particular behavior ...


15

I had some entertaining experience with a loud boy in the bus. In order to overcome the issue I created an Origami bird and showed the boy how the bird can move its wings. The boy was amazed and spend 15 minutes with the bird. Finally, the bird was destroyed and the boy became quiet - I think he was sad he cannot recreated the bird... In my opinion this non ...


10

How did you get to be good at the planning part of the game? More than likely, through experience. Even for a naturally gifted strategist such as myself, I didn't know how to plan strategy at eight years old. In fact, I can tell you exactly when I learned: around ten years old. That's when I learned to beat my dad at chess. My dad wasn't particularly ...


10

I think your request would go much better if you politely ask the child to stop. This is, of course, assuming the child is old enough to understand you - otherwise I doubt even the parents would have much luck. Telling the parent that they should quiet their child puts a lot of stress and attention on them that they simply don't want. I think its most ...


9

As a parent myself, I understand if some of kid's behaviors are annoying to some people. But a kid singing a song repetitively is very different to kids who kick other people's seats. I myself would scold my kid who did the latter. But kids are kids, they do things repetitively when they learn something new so we have to understand it as long as it is not ...


6

One thing you could do is talk directly to the child. I'm sorry to bother you, but I am not feeling very well. Would it be okay for us to be a bit quieter for a bit? You know what it's like when you're poorly. I'd really appreciate it. Obviously, you have to judge the situation (I recommend looking at the child while talking, and when you pause ...


6

I had a really hard time with this sort of thing myself, when I was young. My dad taught me chess then, with the same "full speed" method that I saw mentioned in another answer. I gave up, and hated chess for years, because at the time I felt like my dad was just rubbing it in my face and not really helping me be better at chess (which was partly true and ...


6

You live in a society, where (as has been noted by the previous posters) life is most definitely not fair. Still, we need to be resourceful enough to avoid hitting. Your child hitting someone who is not hitting him - i.e. not a situation of self-defense - is inappropriate. He can't be allowed to solve a disagreement, dispute, or show his displeasure by ...


5

You understand what it is like to not be neurotypical, and therefore perhaps also to exhibit behaviors other people might find annoying -- though we all agree that the proper response from them is to let you be, unless you are truly and objectively disruptive. Maybe it would help you to empathize by remembering that children are also not (yet) neurotypical ...


5

I hate to break it to you, but you're probably going to have to figure it out on your own, or with the help of an occupational therapist. My daughter has cerebral palsy and often gets loud and bothersome as you describe, but the things we have learned that calm her don't work at all for my nephews with down syndrome or autism, or even other children with ...


5

No, there is no good reliable way to achieve this I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no, it's not acceptable for you to complain to a parent about a young child singing quietly on a bus. There is no socially good way for you to accomplish this, it would be overstepping your bounds. Context is everything Imagine you are eating a Bacon sandwich. I'm ...


5

This has to be one of the most painful parts of parenting. It's good that the teachers are contacting you**; having Cain's parents sit in, though, while very important for Cain and his parents, is not much of an action plan. What are the school's written policies? All schools should have one in place; even in preschool. Ask to read it. Bullying often ...


5

Often the solution here is as simple as reframing the request. So if he is playing with blocks and it's time to leave for school, no matter how much advance notice you give and no matter that you leave for school at the same time every day, when you announce "time to leave for school!" he may well resist and refuse and generally push back. So try asking ...


4

My 27 month old makes me think I'm losing my hearing sometimes, between his higher-pitched (and thus less easily understood) voice, and his obviously imperfect enunciation. I'm totally with you on this one. What I do is try to avoid saying "what", or other "I didn't understand you" type phrases. They are understandably frustrating. I know a family member ...


4

So, let's first agree that you can't instruct a child how to behave. It's often difficult to instruct an adult. The question was what are the tools to influence child's behavior. Here they are: personal example, role play, storytelling, training (just like you train dogs;)), consequences. Let's have a closer look how these tools can be applied in the ...


4

It seems to be fairly common for boys of that age to start getting disruptive. (Not that girls can't be disruptive too, but it's less common for girls to directly act out that way - http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/marianne.bertrand/research/papers/the%20trouble%20with%20boys.pdf ) It's good that you are addressing the problem early. Having the report card ...


4

My 8 year-old is like that, although not quite as severe. We are still working on it. I don't think anything can be done to suppress the initial inclination to cry, but he can control it somewhat based on social expectations. For example, he will usually stop almost immediately if asked. That sounds simple, but it doesn't occur to a lot of parents to ...


4

My youngest was at a disadvantage with Minecraft compared to her elder siblings - they already had strategic thinking and a competitive streak, but when she tried to play with them it was the same story you describe, Karl. Our solution - give her a creative only server (ie one with monsters turned off) to practice on. Over the space of about 2 months she ...


3

I had/have a similar problem with my 10-year old son. He also plays Minecraft and once wanted to connect to his friend's server. Obviously, he typed in the server name wrongly and the connection could not be established. After several failed attempts (this whole thing lasted for less than 5 minutes), he told me that he'd try one more time and give up. These ...


3

Ouch. This is difficult. First, the good points: you have the school on your side, they are responding appropriately, and it sounds like Cain is being progressed through a proper disciplinary sequence. You might ask the school about that: they should have a written policy. I understand that you want to send the right messages to your son. I would suggest ...


3

I haven't been in this situation myself, however this doesn't seem at all odd to me. Your son has had you all to himself for his whole life. Sharing you is a big change, and one that may not seem like it has much personal upside. It will probably take a lot of time for him to adjust, and your partner will definitely need to put the work in to establish his ...


3

Usually, kids tends to accept change better if they're prepared and know what will come. I would then go that way and expose the short-term planning to him : now you can play there, but in 30 minutes we'll be going to the pool, then to the movie. Once at the pool, be a bit more accurate : around 3PM we'll be going out the pool and go to the movie, and so on. ...


2

I'm 17 years old, and it was about 4 years ago when I developed this problem. I laugh for just about everything. I laugh when I'm happy, when I think of something funny, when I'm nervous, embarrassed, and when I'm getting yelled at! I hate that I laugh when my parents are yelling at me, I really do! I know that it only further pisses my parents off ...


2

This is common among the toddlers. Even if it is complex idea, then also they will try to communicate it with the words they know and for the first time they will express it with more patience and excitement. If we ask them to repeat it again, then they will feel like frustrated and embarrassed, so don't try to ask them twice instead give them a smile for ...


2

Your best approach may be to try to get her to imagine what this other girl is feeling. Ask her to think about when she first got interested in boys (I'm assuming she is). Make sure she recognizes that she didn't chose to start feeling those feelings, it just happened. Now, tell her that a lesbian feels the same way, but about girls instead of boys. How ...


2

I'm autistic and I do this too. It's not defiance or satisfaction at provoking the person or anything like that. It's completely involuntary and not associated with happiness at all. My impression is that many autistic people express emotions using different kinds of nonverbal signals than non-autistic people. For example, I once met a kid who showed ...



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible