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88

Kids that age learn a lot by imaginative play. It's how they make sense of the world and experiment with different responses to events. Pretending to be an adult is very common. Playing along is a good opportunity to show empathy and teach better responses. You might say, I'm Eric. I'm sad because I couldn't find my toy. I wonder if I should cry or ask ...


67

Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? Sure, just as acceptable as it would be for you to ask a fellow passenger to get off their phone or stop swaying to the music in their earphones. It's not against the law to request another person stop acting in a way that bothers you. There's lots of people ...


30

When a toddler exhibits behaviour like this they are struggling to communicate, and they are struggling to regulate an emotion. It is very hard for parents, when confronted by deliberate "naughtiness" like pooping on a floor, to maintain loving calmness. As I understand it there are two aims: 1) help him develop confidence to play alone and entertain ...


26

It tells just how much he sees you as role model. Instead of seeing this as abnormal you should be the role model he deserves. Other than that do understand that this behaviour will stop after some time. You only need to worry if this does not stop and causes complications. Hope I helped. P.S.: When I was a child I used to wear my father's army uniform. ...


25

I can relate; I cannot tune out noise either (never have been able to), and it does add to my stress level. People noise is especially distressing to me, though particularly when I'm trying to get something done that requires (for me) relative quiet. Is it acceptable for me to tell a parent that the noises their children make are bothering me? And if so, ...


23

In my opinion, if you aren't willing to consider corporal punishment, you are unnecessarily restricting your options. If you don't believe in it but are willing to consider it, I will present the case for it as my experience shows it to be the most effective method for raising a happy, healthy, well-behaved child while fostering a loving relationship. In my ...


20

The best thing you can do is to politely request that they try to quiet their child. Maybe phrase it something like this: I'm sorry to bother you, but I am trying to work on this / having a really stressful day / etc. and your daughter's high pitched talking is really bothering me. Can you please try to quiet her down a bit? I'd really ...


16

A polite request to the parent, in most situations, would not be taken amiss. In particular with a small amount of information as to why you're specifically asking. Hello, Ma'am, I'm sorry but I have a bit of a headache today. If it's possible could you ask your child to lower her voice some? Thank you. Be very specific as to the particular behavior ...


16

I'd say that having a coping strategy ready for this is going to be much more valuable to you than attempting to stop someone else making annoying noises. A set of professional / musician earplugs, for example, can make a huge difference with general & background noise reduction while not preventing you from hearing other people speak to you. Your ...


15

I had some entertaining experience with a loud boy in the bus. In order to overcome the issue I created an Origami bird and showed the boy how the bird can move its wings. The boy was amazed and spend 15 minutes with the bird. Finally, the bird was destroyed and the boy became quiet - I think he was sad he cannot recreated the bird... In my opinion this non ...


12

Some ideas: Hunger/thirst: My cranky small humans get crankier when they're hungry or thirsty, and if I can see the clouds gathering, I can often head off the storm by offering a snack or a drink. Have you been able to see the grumpiness coming in time to head it off at all? Independent play: We've had success with helping our kids learn to play ...


10

How did you get to be good at the planning part of the game? More than likely, through experience. Even for a naturally gifted strategist such as myself, I didn't know how to plan strategy at eight years old. In fact, I can tell you exactly when I learned: around ten years old. That's when I learned to beat my dad at chess. My dad wasn't particularly ...


10

I think your request would go much better if you politely ask the child to stop. This is, of course, assuming the child is old enough to understand you - otherwise I doubt even the parents would have much luck. Telling the parent that they should quiet their child puts a lot of stress and attention on them that they simply don't want. I think its most ...


10

I'm not a parent myself, but two points: 1) You could argue that no, it's not just 'cute'. Imagining yourself in someone else's position is the very basis of empathy and all that is worthwhile in humanity :-) 2) Describing himself in the third person, from the POV of you or someone else, can sometimes be a mechanism to put distance between himself and ...


9

As a parent myself, I understand if some of kid's behaviors are annoying to some people. But a kid singing a song repetitively is very different to kids who kick other people's seats. I myself would scold my kid who did the latter. But kids are kids, they do things repetitively when they learn something new so we have to understand it as long as it is not ...


7

A friend of mine had a similar problem. His seven year old boy was completely out of control. His tantrums were volcanic, and completely manipulative. They were terrified to go out in public because he would throw things at random strangers and break things just to get back at them for restricting him in any way. A counselor who he went to see with his ...


6

You live in a society, where (as has been noted by the previous posters) life is most definitely not fair. Still, we need to be resourceful enough to avoid hitting. Your child hitting someone who is not hitting him - i.e. not a situation of self-defense - is inappropriate. He can't be allowed to solve a disagreement, dispute, or show his displeasure by ...


6

I had a really hard time with this sort of thing myself, when I was young. My dad taught me chess then, with the same "full speed" method that I saw mentioned in another answer. I gave up, and hated chess for years, because at the time I felt like my dad was just rubbing it in my face and not really helping me be better at chess (which was partly true and ...


6

One thing you could do is talk directly to the child. I'm sorry to bother you, but I am not feeling very well. Would it be okay for us to be a bit quieter for a bit? You know what it's like when you're poorly. I'd really appreciate it. Obviously, you have to judge the situation (I recommend looking at the child while talking, and when you pause ...


5

First of all, when did that start? How did it escalate? Was it gradual or just happened all of a sudden? Try to discover the source of this behavior, perhaps there is one. If you know it you may be able to handle the situation better. For me, the defecation is crossing the line. Kids fuss, go through tantrums, we have to be understanding, but there also ...


5

I hate to break it to you, but you're probably going to have to figure it out on your own, or with the help of an occupational therapist. My daughter has cerebral palsy and often gets loud and bothersome as you describe, but the things we have learned that calm her don't work at all for my nephews with down syndrome or autism, or even other children with ...


5

You understand what it is like to not be neurotypical, and therefore perhaps also to exhibit behaviors other people might find annoying -- though we all agree that the proper response from them is to let you be, unless you are truly and objectively disruptive. Maybe it would help you to empathize by remembering that children are also not (yet) neurotypical ...


5

No, there is no good reliable way to achieve this I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no, it's not acceptable for you to complain to a parent about a young child singing quietly on a bus. There is no socially good way for you to accomplish this, it would be overstepping your bounds. Context is everything Imagine you are eating a Bacon sandwich. I'm ...


4

My youngest was at a disadvantage with Minecraft compared to her elder siblings - they already had strategic thinking and a competitive streak, but when she tried to play with them it was the same story you describe, Karl. Our solution - give her a creative only server (ie one with monsters turned off) to practice on. Over the space of about 2 months she ...


4

So, let's first agree that you can't instruct a child how to behave. It's often difficult to instruct an adult. The question was what are the tools to influence child's behavior. Here they are: personal example, role play, storytelling, training (just like you train dogs;)), consequences. Let's have a closer look how these tools can be applied in the ...


4

It seems to be fairly common for boys of that age to start getting disruptive. (Not that girls can't be disruptive too, but it's less common for girls to directly act out that way - http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/marianne.bertrand/research/papers/the%20trouble%20with%20boys.pdf ) It's good that you are addressing the problem early. Having the report card ...


4

My 8 year-old is like that, although not quite as severe. We are still working on it. I don't think anything can be done to suppress the initial inclination to cry, but he can control it somewhat based on social expectations. For example, he will usually stop almost immediately if asked. That sounds simple, but it doesn't occur to a lot of parents to ...


4

My 27 month old makes me think I'm losing my hearing sometimes, between his higher-pitched (and thus less easily understood) voice, and his obviously imperfect enunciation. I'm totally with you on this one. What I do is try to avoid saying "what", or other "I didn't understand you" type phrases. They are understandably frustrating. I know a family member ...


4

This has to be one of the most painful parts of parenting. It's good that the teachers are contacting you**; having Cain's parents sit in, though, while very important for Cain and his parents, is not much of an action plan. What are the school's written policies? All schools should have one in place; even in preschool. Ask to read it. Bullying often ...


3

You might try explaining it sometime when you're not in the middle of the situation that when we go potty or use the shower that we should have privacy and that she should respect that. Then try to show her the same privacy (within reason) while she is showering/changing/pottying. Also, a lock on the bathroom door might be in order.



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