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38

Leave. Leave now. There's clearly something seriously wrong. Whether it's bad parenting, a psychological disorder, or something else entirely, it is beyond your control and you are liable for the welfare and actions of the children in your charge. Don't end up under criminal neglect charges or worse because you can't change the situation. If you suspect ...


15

The most concerning thing about your question is the comment, he "has taken a kitchen knife and tried to kill me and his brother." If you are speaking literally this child needs a professional intervention. The consensus is for you to get out of this situation for your safety. Do everything you can (outside of staying) to help the family transition to ...


14

The biggest problem we have with our baby monitor camera is coverage, even placed in the corner of the room and way up to get a good vantage of the room, you'd have to have 3 or 4 of the darn things to actually cover every place in the room where something bad could happen. To be honest, I think a lot of it comes down to trust. A friend of mine used to be a ...


12

If the babysitter does it routinely, as a job, I would ask them first what their rate was. From there you can possibly negotiate if you feel there is room for it - your situation is less demanding than the norm may be, or there is some other perk for the sitter. You may encounter sitters like I have though - they do it routinely, but have no fixed rate. ...


12

Honestly, if the parents just laugh it off and at the same time confirm that they are bad -- leave. These kids are not yours; they're just a job. Your life and sanity is worth a better job. If you can, move on to a better job and forget about this. I don't see anythIng in your question to say that you really need or want to keep the job, except for the ...


11

It is not appropriate to install spycams for the babysitter There have been recent legal cases in the US where monitoring devices were used to record the babysitter/estranged-father/grand-parents without their knowledge and the evidence gathered used in court. IIRC, they all backfired, badly. If you are genuinely worried about your babysitter, get a ...


10

I think a nanny cam is worthless, for technical as well as social/legal reasons. In a sentence, it cannot replace trust. Let me first answer your questions, then provide some thoughts: The video on the main page is enough to instill fear in me I think the video you link to is made explicitly to put the force of fear in you, with "you" being a potential ...


8

You have a professional and moral obligation to report your concerns to the relevant authorities. (Certainly in the UK; I imagine it's the case in other countries too.) Here's a UK link: http://www.ncma.org.uk/news_and_events/news/january_to_june_2011/lscb_guidance_from_ncma.aspx Here's a Canadian link: http://www.oacas.org/childwelfare/duty.htm By not ...


8

First of all, a disclaimer. IANAL. The legal issues will vary widely based on jurisdiction. Check your local laws. Second, we never used a nanny. My wife worked for the first 3 years, but we used home-based day care providers who we found through referrals. If I were to hire a nanny today, I would absolutely put a video system in the home. I would also ...


7

I am a parent who employs a nanny for child caregiving purposes. I believe we pay our nanny a fair market wage, but if she wanted a raise I would want her to ask for a time to sit down with my husband and I (her joint employers) in person other than a time she was scheduled to work. I would want her to have a reasoned explanation why she deserved a raise. ...


6

I think the most important thing to have is references. The references should be the names and numbers of people that the sitter worked for recently, and they should be people that are willing to talk about their relationship with the sitter. I would not accept written letters of reference. If the parents feel good about the babysitter's relationship with ...


4

As mentioned by the other people, leave. While you are there, you are responsible for these children and anything that happens to them. You only have 4 weeks left, so there is little incentive for you to start a long-term correction of the child's behaviour, especially since you have no support form the parents. Whether you stay or go, I would suggest ...


4

SitterCity.com is a good site to find sitters. My niece just recently posted a profile and it is actively used in my parenting circles. There is a short term free membership as well as a paid membership. I know my niece had a background check, had to supply references, and much more. The other place that I have found success is at a local church. I was ...


3

I agree that non-family references are important. I have actually received calls from families looking for sitters because I had been listed as a reference. I would also see if your local parks and rec, hospital or Fire station offers a baby sitters course. I have found the sitters who have taken this type of course to be very prepared. The last one came ...


3

I think that it's absolutely appropriate to know exactly what's going on with your kids. However, monitoring babysitter without her consent may be illegal in your country. That's easily solvable: get her consent! First, describe politely that you want to monitor your children (or just your house). You can name your reasons if you wish, like safety, security, ...


3

If you are unsure about someone and can't get references, I would first try them out with you at your home. Maybe you can work from home or do some busy-work around the house to get a feel for them a few times. I would definitely go find references. I got many of my babysitting gigs from word-of-mouth. Check out your state laws first. I know in NJ only one ...


3

Age, experience, and enthusiasm are things to consider as well. I would be willing to pay a college student far more than I would someone in high school because of the difference in maturity and life skills. Also, the fact that a college student has bills to pay would yield a higher wage. Enthusiasm is the most important though. Is the sitter going to watch ...


3

Frankly, I wouldn't trust a web site -- it can show you people who want to babysit, but no reliable enough (for my risk tolerance) information on their trustworthiness. Your best bet is to get recommendations locally -- use your support network. For us, it was asking our Sensei -- he works with many families, and a dojo like ours is a great place to find ...


3

Austria http://www.kinderbetreuung.at covers all of Austria. Disclaimer: I have no experience with using this service (i.e. it might be crap or it might be gold). It was simply the only online resource I could find for Austria. I have asked for alternatives/recommendations/experiences in an Austrian parenting forum and will report back if anything useful ...


3

This is probably too late now, but I wanted to add another option in hopes you still have a chance to make a difference. This child needs professional counseling. The parents have no interest in obtaining it. However, their ability to maintain their standard of living depends on a babysitter. In other words, if you are really willing to leave, they need you ...


2

If you are supposed to be in control of the children and one of them is leaving the house at his will when not dangerously disrupting the house when home - then -YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. You have asked the parents for their help and they LAUGH at the situation - then - YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. Would you drive a school bus when everything is out of ...


2

The first thing to do is to take a deep breath. This is a situation with a lot of emotional ties pulling your girlfriend in many different directions. There are a lot of relationships involved so at some point, so tread lightly. That said... Consider where you want you, your girlfriend and her daughter to be in two year's time. That's your short term ...


1

Can she find another woman in the same situations who she TRUSTS? Through some church group maybe? One of them can watch the kids, one can work and pay her half? Two kids are really easier to take care of at that age than only one, they keep each other entertained. Or they can both get part-time jobs and watch the others kids when they're not working?



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