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30

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


24

From what you're writing, you don't really want him to get any hobby, but a hobby where he can socialize. If he's slightly autistic, socializing is the hardest thing for him to do. And it will be even harder if the socializing is in a context where he has nothing to talk about or isn't interested in the things people talk about. You said he likes to use ...


24

A hobby is something you like. How do you force someone to like something? Additionally, at the choice of hobbies there is an extra agenda: You want him to socialize. I think you have a good point. The time he has now, as a kid, will not come back. Social skills he could be picking up now, will be harder to learn when he realises he's missing something. ...


14

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


14

I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are possibly indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely "normal." The only real issues you ...


11

I was just extremely socially awkward as a kid, not autistic, but here's what I would suggest: In Scouts (talk with the Scoutmaster and try to figure out what would be best), there are many different routes for him to take. I had my own tent that I would bring on all outings so I didn't have to share, and knot-tying was the hobby I worked on there. By ...


10

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


9

Even with neurotypical kids, it can be challenging to find a hobby or sport that they like well enough to stick with and really develop. Some kids find their niche right away, others have to try lots of different things to figure out what works for them and what doesn't. I think you have two choices: build off of the hobbies he does have or try to help him ...


7

I think you're saying something different than you really mean. You say "he needs a hobby" but what you mean is "he needs a different hobby". There are plenty of people without mental health issues who love nothing more than to spend their time on a computer, and plenty of people who do. It isn't a "problem" - instead, it's just another avenue that has its ...


7

I don't know what the "official" age is where one can be diagnosed with Aspergers with certainty. I'm sorry I can't answer that question for you. Regarding the second aspect of your question: assuming our suspicion doesn't fade, at which age is it worth it given that there is not much that can be done about it? My answer to that is as soon as ...


6

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


6

Just a short answer to make an additional suggestion to the ones already given, which I'm kind of surprised hasn't come up already: board, dice, card or other tabletop games. Games of this kind often go down well with people on the Autism spectrum because they offer an activity with clearly-defined, easily understood boundaries. And it's obviously a pretty ...


5

I can't speak to much of your post, but I have a step-nephews (8 and 11 now) who have sensory integration issues and I want to offer what little I know that might be helpful there. It is good to make eye contact when you are speaking, but it makes your son uncomfortable. The reason you want to make eye contact is to make sure he is listening to you. You can ...


5

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


5

I thought I might share our experience with our son, now just gone aged 5 and mildly ASD (so more or less Aspergers as was). An astute creche worker spotted the signs when he was three and he was referred for assessment (this is in the UK). He had two visits from a health team to his nursery when he was aged three or just gone four, and from there was ...


4

If he is only slightly autistic, then it is a good idea to try to find a hobby for him and even push him a little (not forcefully, more like guidance and example). After all everyone needs some free time to relax, not only to idle, but the brain actually demands it. With autism sometimes there is a lack of understanding for the needs of others and even ...


3

It may be bit late but I don't think anyone else has covered what I wanted to say. I have a similar problem to your daughter; when I am nervous or anxious I sometimes get a nearly irresistible urge to smile or even laugh. Of course I do try to stop myself, and can most of the time now I am an adult, but not always. I have never really understood why it ...


3

My daughter has some autistic characteristics, although she hasn't been officially diagnosed because her cerebral palsy symptoms are overwhelming. Observing anger and violence makes her laugh, the same as watching slapstick humor. My theory is that this is due to her difficulty empathizing. If you take the emotions out of the picture, someone being angry ...


3

While you have sign language, have you tried sign supported speech? My eldest son is hard of hearing. For his first couple of years of school, he went to a special school for children with severe speech and language difficulties. He was one of the few children there with a 'technical' hearing problem; most had problems somewhere on the autistic spectrum. ...


3

I have Asperger's syndrome and I have known quite a few others who also has Asperger's syndrome. I'll share with you what I know about hobbies and social life for me and those others. Keep in mind, this is me sharing my own experiences and my own perspective on things. You can pick what you think applies and forget about the rest. I can't guarantee that any ...


2

It sounds like what you need is a time-out when this happens. If you're angry and she's laughing, just get in the habit of saying "Okay, we need a break; let's talk about this again in ten minutes when we've had time to cool down." Have a conversation about this with her, and tell her that she should do the same (suggest a cool off period). Talking when ...


2

(Sorry if this is posting as two comments; having trouble with the commenting format.) Where you say "we have had troubles due to my loss of job last year and our possible eviction. This has led to many behaviors such as lying, stealing..." - this begs the question of why the child's behavior is being attributed to your adult problems. Is it not more likely ...


2

We are in a similar situation, except that we haven't talked with a pediatrician yet. My related question (At which age does it make sense to see a professional when suspecting Asperger?) was inspired by fear of exactly what has happened to you. From what I have read so far, it is common that Aspergers symptoms are not always present, i.e., the child ...


2

This is not a direct answer to your question but a suggestion on how to gather more data. If you don't know any of the other kinder parents, enlist the teacher's help in identifying sympathetic parents. Approach them and ask for a playdate (one at a time). Discuss with them the issue and that you want to see if your daughter is just overwhelmed by the ...


2

Having just gone through the autism evaluation process with a four year old, the process does feel a little silly and inexact if your child is just "showing a few signs". Parental evaluations are weighted rather heavily when your child is young, so it feels like you're providing incriminating evidence to the prosecution every time you describe your child's ...


2

I'm not a parent (also, I'm only 21). However, I was always pretty shy outside of the home when I was a kid. What I enjoyed the most was being on the computer (even at the age of 10), and learning how to program, how to design, etc. Too many people see computers as just something that's a waste of time for kids, but I'm now a (successful) front-end developer ...


2

As other answers have suggested playing on the computer can be a hobby. However, you want him to be able interact socially. The good news is that there are a lot of social interactions to be formed online, and they can be lower pressure than being face to face. Now, you do need to worry about safety, especially since some people in the autism spectrum can ...


2

Speaking from experience, IT is pretty much an ideal hobby for someone with ASD. It will stand him in very good stead later in life, and may spark his interest in other topics such as maths, neuroscience, robotics, physics, etc. As an ASD person he's probably only going to enjoy socialising with people with shared interests, people he can have interesting ...


1

My brother was in the same position as your son, and my parents found a great activity that he really enjoyed: he began music therapy. Basically he would go and play an instrument with the instructor (he chose bass, but it could be anything) and they played together, any songs he wanted, just for half an hour a week. My parents too had to force him to get ...



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