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55

I'm an autistic adult, the parent of an autistic adult, and a teacher of autistic children. The reason your daughter laughs when you're really angry with her is because your anger is frightening her. This might seem counter-intuitive to the neurotypical mind, until one considers that neurotypical laughter is frequently in response to someone being hurt, ...


25

From what you're writing, you don't really want him to get any hobby, but a hobby where he can socialize. If he's slightly autistic, socializing is the hardest thing for him to do. And it will be even harder if the socializing is in a context where he has nothing to talk about or isn't interested in the things people talk about. You said he likes to use ...


24

A hobby is something you like. How do you force someone to like something? Additionally, at the choice of hobbies there is an extra agenda: You want him to socialize. I think you have a good point. The time he has now, as a kid, will not come back. Social skills he could be picking up now, will be harder to learn when he realises he's missing something. ...


16

I am not so sure this is an answer, and I am not a medical practitioner, but you are drawing conclusions based on tiny bits of information, much of which is conflicting. Sometimes your daughter displays behaviors that are possibly indicative of a behavioral condition, and sometimes she behaves in ways that are absolutely "normal." The only real issues you ...


15

Stephen King wrote a description about this once. "You're one of those people that, when King Laugh knocks, you can't keep the door closed." I'm the same way: laughter overwhelms me at sometimes very inappropriate times, and especially when I'm emotionally overwrought or very fatigued. It's apparently fairly common with folks on the autism spectrum. And ...


14

Laughter is a big emotional response. My son does this to me too. (And my body is also wired to laugh inappropriately in extremely high-tension situations, so I can relate on that level too.) Now the weird part and the part I don't understand is that she claims she cannot control the laughter. She says that she doesn't want to laugh but she can't help ...


12

I was just extremely socially awkward as a kid, not autistic, but here's what I would suggest: In Scouts (talk with the Scoutmaster and try to figure out what would be best), there are many different routes for him to take. I had my own tent that I would bring on all outings so I didn't have to share, and knot-tying was the hobby I worked on there. By ...


11

I have worked with many children who are self abusive and this is a perplexing problem for parents and caregivers. Head banging, self-biting, clawing/scratching, and hair pulling are all self-injurious behaviors sometimes exhibited. A very important question to ask is what is triggering this unique acting-out behavior. Toddlers are often frustrated when ...


11

Actually, trimming his nails is a good solution, and what I'd have recommended. If your child's nails are long enough to draw blood, then they need to be shortened. Even if it means trimming them twice a week. - This is a must. I'd rather stop the obviously damaging behaviour at the risk of whatever might take its place, than continue to tolerate the ...


11

His classmates are rewarded by the spectacle of his tantrums as well as the group feeling of having a common target. Unless he can control the tantrums and ignore all taunts, I fear the only option is to change his environment to a more welcoming one. That may mean changing schools or getting ALL the parents to make sure their children behave.


10

I am not a parent so this isn't a complete answer, just a perspective from dealing with people. In any interaction between two mammals, one is reactive and the other has the power. If you want to win an argument, make the other person lose their mind with anger. It doesn't even have to be an anger reaction. Social power falls to the person the least ...


9

but I was wondering how normal it is to go through several years of school before a "problem" is noticed by parents and/or teachers or other professionals. Is this possible? Autism is strange beast. It is extremely varied from person to person, and other psychological disorders (and several genetic ones) can look like Autism and not be it. ...


9

I don't know what the "official" age is where one can be diagnosed with Aspergers with certainty. I'm sorry I can't answer that question for you. Regarding the second aspect of your question: assuming our suspicion doesn't fade, at which age is it worth it given that there is not much that can be done about it? My answer to that is as soon as ...


9

Even with neurotypical kids, it can be challenging to find a hobby or sport that they like well enough to stick with and really develop. Some kids find their niche right away, others have to try lots of different things to figure out what works for them and what doesn't. I think you have two choices: build off of the hobbies he does have or try to help him ...


8

Self-harm in toddlers can be hard to pin down. It's very common with autistic children and children with sensory disorders -- they can block out overload or frustration with something easy to do that shuts out whatever they're having trouble ignoring. If you already suspect autism or a sensory disorder for other reasons, I'd look doubly hard at the ...


8

You may have heard the expression "if you've seen one child with autism, you've seen ONE child with autism". "autism" covers such a wide range of behaviors and experiences that it's really hard to make general predictions. Furthermore, age is a big factor here with all children (and cats, for that matter), autistic or not. That said, Dalton's reasoning makes ...


7

While unemployment stress may be contributing, don't blame a rebellious phase entirely on that- your daughter is in the prime rebellion years, you would probably be facing some of these challenges anyway. My suggestion is to drop the angry face and immediately put on a sad face, and say seriously, it's not nice to laugh at people who are having problems. ...


7

The first step to adopting is to make the decision that it's what you want to do. No one can really do that. A few things to consider about this first step. Realize that you will be taking another kid into your home. Adoption has it's own joys, and it's own pitfalls, it's different than giving birth to children. Still, it can be a very rewarding thing. ...


7

And then when I start to look noticeably angry and start to raise my voice, she laughs at me. I have Asperger's, and this is something I have dealt with all my life. I initially noticed this when I was young: I would find myself involuntarily laughing when in situations where I was either subjected to physical pain (such as burns or blunt trauma), ...


7

I think you're saying something different than you really mean. You say "he needs a hobby" but what you mean is "he needs a different hobby". There are plenty of people without mental health issues who love nothing more than to spend their time on a computer, and plenty of people who do. It isn't a "problem" - instead, it's just another avenue that has its ...


7

What percentage of diagnosis fall into each category? Is Aspergers, PDD-NOS or Classic Autism the most common? It's not an easy question to answer. Paper after paper disputes the validity of the manner of distinction of the subtypes, and differences between the DSM-IV and the DSM-V are significant, resulting in a reclassification of a large number of ...


7

Both my daughter (16) and son (13) are high-level autistic (would have been called aspie by the old yardstick). We've had cats their entire lives. Currently we have two cats, a big black labrador, and two guinea pigs. In the past we've also had goldfish and hermit crabs. They've been very good with the pets overall. The cats certainly make a lot more sense ...


6

No. The only well known study showing a link (Wakefield) was subsequently exposed as fraudulent. This is discussed in more detail at Skeptics SE: http://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/607/are-there-any-other-studies-besides-the-discredited-wakefield-studies-that-have


6

Selecting schools without the issue of Autism can be difficult. With ASD or Asperger's you will need to consider the impact on your elder son and how that will impact the family. Another issue to consider is the impact on your younger son of making this decision based on your elder son's needs. Also, please reach out to local autism resources, public ...


6

As DA01 mentions in his comments, autism is a gigantic spectrum. Strategies for how to deal with it vary widely - the person who could best answer this question would likely be the child's mother. It may be an uncomfortable question, but it's likely one that the child's mother is familiar with answering by now. If you're worried about coming across as ...


6

Very difficult subject... Tackle the Problem from the Inside It's the most effective, and the point you have the most impact on. It sounds possible zen and overreaching, but the child need inner-strength, and, above all, inner-peace. It's going to be very difficult, but someone would need to help the child to be more passive about the assaults and not ...


6

Just a short answer to make an additional suggestion to the ones already given, which I'm kind of surprised hasn't come up already: board, dice, card or other tabletop games. Games of this kind often go down well with people on the Autism spectrum because they offer an activity with clearly-defined, easily understood boundaries. And it's obviously a pretty ...


5

Talk to the school. They should have an anti-bullying policy. Get it and insist that they apply it in this case. Write to the teachers. Identify the specific hurtful behaviours being used and insist that they are stamped on. The only way to stop this is to make it clear to the bullies that their behaviour will not be tolerated. Bullying is child abuse, no ...


5

I hate to break it to you, but you're probably going to have to figure it out on your own, or with the help of an occupational therapist. My daughter has cerebral palsy and often gets loud and bothersome as you describe, but the things we have learned that calm her don't work at all for my nephews with down syndrome or autism, or even other children with ...


5

Children with autism are each very different but communication tends to be difficult for most of them. Getting a child with autism is speak is usually a great challenge even for a trained speech therapist, so know that there is usually no quick fix. Observe carefully your child's communication. Encourage eye contact by holding object he desires near your ...



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