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29

Simple answer - these feelings are normal and not necessarily an indication of her sexuality, just a child's confusion and anxiety over physical intimacy. There is nothing to be concerned about, nothing special you or your daughter needs to do. Just let time reveal her sexuality. When it happens, she'll know it and if she believes that there's nothing ...


27

Take him to a psychologist. Not because he has a disorder, but because he is highly intelligent and both you and he need to learn how to deal with this gift. Your son needs peers who share his intelligence. I don't know where you live, but any psychologist worth the name knows of local organizations that help highly intelligent children socialize with other ...


18

Ask her why she is afraid of turning out to be lesbian, and address that.


14

Small traumas are a part of life, and learning to accept that is part of growing up. Some thoughts: Talk about it. When discussing the incident use calming language: It was an accident, and sometimes accidents happen. One time I had an accident (describe briefly) and I hurt my leg (or whatever). It scared me, but then after a while I didn't really think ...


13

This is not a sexual orientation issue. It is an anxiety problem that happens to have sexual orientation as its focus. The issue here is that she is having intense anxiety about this idea, and it is interrupting her ability to cope with life. While reassurance often works as a first line treatment, it can also make things worse. If she's having to be ...


13

I think her reaction is not unusual. Her safe space was violated, and it takes a while for it to start feeling safe again. My parents had similar reactions when their home was broken into: startling at shadows and sudden sounds, fitful sleep, and some apprehension when entering the house. It goes away slowly. My gut reaction is to offer as much comfort as ...


12

Without a thought, to protect my daughter, I would happily and honorably sacrifice my life. I have actually kidnapped her from her mother (legally, yes), denied legal visitation after being asked what to do when her mother went into a bar and she had to sleep in a plastic bag behind a bush outside, and rescued her when my ex-father in-law remanded her to my ...


11

One of my daughters has seizures and neurologically-caused muscle tremors. Trust me, they are very distinct from a baby's excited quivering. Babies are still learning how to control their bodies. Something like keeping your arm from shaking seems easy, but is actually quite complicated from a control systems point of view. Especially if a doctor has ...


9

Show him Star Trek, the original series (Kirk, Spock, McCoy & c.). From episode 1 on. Seriously, if there's a simple way to communicate optimism, inclusion, love for science and empathy for other beings, it is this sci-fi show. Brilliant as he is, he will surely appreciate the ongoing debate between rationality (Spock) and passion (McCoy), and the ...


9

Poor little guy. Try searching for information on "childhood fears" and "night terrors", those are the usual terms used. Here's one set of basic recommendations: General Guidelines for Any Age When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with respect. Chansky suggests following these basic guidelines: ...


8

Before anyone misinterprets what I say here, I have no desire to dismiss or diminish issues of sexual orientation. This is just a possibility. The validity of her orientation is not in question; her suffering is. Your daughter is suffering, regardless of her true/ultimate sexual orientation. If she is having thoughts that cause her such dismay, there may be ...


8

Life is, indeed, meaningless. There's nothing wrong with your kid. I was just like him - I had zero friends and didn't like talking to anyone. Then I gradually began to become more social, and now, in my mid-thirties, I have friends begging to hang out with me every single day of the week. Life is wonderful - but yeah, still meaningless overall. Don't ...


7

One of the key elements of a parenting course I attended was to introduce the accidents/dangers in controlled environment. (ofcourse it was with respect to fire, sharp things etc, but could be tried here). You need to understand what part of the accidents the child is remembering. The gunshot or breaking of glass with no apparent reason (to her). If it ...


6

Oh my GOD! Your son is terrific. He is 1 in a million. Don't push him for anything(at least for now). First delve into his mind and "study" all the things he thinks. If you want to have conversation with him, you are gonna have get into his mindset. First of all, believe what he said is true then question him seriously about the statements and their ...


6

I know this sounds strange... but instead of trying to figure out what to say, I would instead listen to her - what is going on inside her, in her head and in her heart - her fears and her longings. And then validate them. It's real for her. Telling her more information isn't going to stop her from being afraid. Daughter - mommy I'm terrified I'm going to ...


6

I'll comment on the sleep issue since the other issues seem to be addressed. Do whatever it takes to get your child the calm and sleep she needs. Focus on a very regular sleep ritual, comfort, teddy bear, flower essence, whatever, then if necessary some sleep medication (more on this later), then a song, a short story, and a goodnight kiss! talking ...


5

Congratulations - your son has discovered nihilism at the age of nine. My question is - how would you react if an adult you knew and cared about made such a speech? Personally I'd find it an interesting conversation to have, to which I would probably disagree with their position thoroughly. My answer to the nihilist question is 'Life is to be enjoyed, and ...


5

Bless her little heart; what a scary thing to go through. And bless y'all's hearts too; this sounds absolutely horrible to have gone through. Have you looked into therapy? Sounds like something that a professional who has dealt with grief and trauma issues might have some insights in handling.


5

When my oldest was having trouble being dropped at daycare, I moved the decision for how long I would stick around at dropoff onto her. (She was about 3 iirc.) We didn't have a traumatic experience like yours complicating things, but I think this might help for you. I simply told her that each morning I would stay until she told me to go. The immediate ...


5

Biting her nails is only a symptom, so 1, 2, and 3 are not getting to the core issue. Indeed, it is also quite possible that you drawing attention to it is increasing her anxiety. Solution 5 might save the nails, but it doesn't address the anxiety. Solution 4 or some variant of it is the only way to go, addressing the anxiety. Possibly some way of ...


4

I think your daughter is simply working incomplete information -- she has analytical ability beyond her age, but the insufficient information to base her analysis on. Ask her questions -- a lot. "Why do people need to pick a career", "How long does it take to learn". This will help you understand where the knowledge gaps are so you can fill them in. Use ...


4

Start by explaining to her that who she is and what she does are not the same thing. Just because two people are fire fighters, for example, does not mean they are the same people. They can think and act very differently, like very different things, and generally behave very differently when they aren't working. Once the concepts of "who you are" and ...


4

I am so glad I found your question! I have been in 3 mathematics competitions in my life (I have a BA in Mathematics, Magna Cum Laude). Additionally, I have competed in other competitions from computer programming to spelling... none of them are like any others and they all cause a different type of anxiety. The more one knows about mathematics, the more ...


4

Tell her, if she doesn't want to be, then she's not. This is the most validating thing you can tell her. Keep telling her that. And keep telling her. "well what about how I feel thinking about girls kissing?" "Don't worry about it. If you don't want that, that's not you" doing anything else is pressuring her to diverge from what she personally ...


4

My daughter is 11 and confused. That sounds like a normal combination. She will be a rather different person when she graduates high school. Just be supportive but clear that absolutely nothing she does at 11 will matter all that much later in life. Except failing math - that will be a problem. FYI, my almost-daughter dated girls when she was 15. ...


4

Babies do this. My 16-month old is no different. She has a little more motor control than your 11m/o probably does, but she still shakes, bounces, sways etc when she sees something she likes. Your baby is just fine.


4

I cannot recommend this method enough, because when our change-averse 3-yr-old switched daycares, it made a HUGE difference in her leave-taking of us: have her PUSH YOU OUT THE DOOR. She might cry anyway, but if you can get her to do it a couple of mornings consistently, maybe she can find the fun in it. And it lets her feel some autonomy; after all, ...


4

Mary Jo Finch and Ana both have it right when they say, "be there for her" (I'm paraphrasing). Letting her sleep with you and recognizing that she will be jumpy for awhile is a natural response to such an event. I'm not sure by what you mean "gun used for practice," but even so, that would be traumatic for almost anyone. Having a window break - one you ...


4

The other answers provide excellent advice about fear. I would suggest you also check (just to exclude it as a possibility) that he is not suffering from something sleep related. For example: night terrors. Some useful articles may help explain what I mean (in particular the wikipedia one): Night terror article on wikipedia NHS article on night terrors ...


4

My little girl had a similar bout of bad dreams and was able to overcome it after we convinced her that she could control the dream, i.e. if the room was on fire she could become a super hero that could spray water out of her arms and put the fire out. It worked for her, hopefully you can find something similar for your boy. One more bit of advice we ...



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