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I see two aspects in this, summed up in these words: one one side, the son is a guest and should respect the house rules and/or the wishes of the hosts, on the other side, the parents are making a rather silly demand on their son because he is no longer legally underage and doesn't need to be supervised. In the end, the parents are the hosts, and ...

Your situation is very familiar to me. You want to be independent and make your own choices, yet at the same time you wish for a closer bond with your father. Fortunately, you can have it both ways. You've probably already realized that one reason for the rather empty phone calls is simply that nothing much has changed since last time. So you end up talking ...

It sounds like your mom has some boundary issues. I don't know that I would call her behavior normal, but I think many mothers and daughters have boundary issues to some extent (I know my mother and I do). Beofett's advice is excellent, and much kinder than mine is. I have reached the point with my mother where I simply do not tolerate her crossing ...

It sounds like your mother may be having difficulty letting go of her control over your life. The constant comparisons are her way of attempting to guide your behavior to match her expectations. Unfortunately, this type of behavior doesn't seem that uncommon. For some parents, the transition from having a child or children who are constantly around, and ...

At 20, its going to be difficult. He's got the independence and rights of adult, although few 20 year olds have the wisdom to use that responsibly (I know I didn't!). Realistically, you can't expect to convince a 20 year old to stop doing something they've decided to do. I think the best you can work towards is making sure he knows all of the downsides. ...

The younger the child is, the more impact you'll be able to have. A 10-year-old could be more heavily influenced by his parents, while a 20-year-old may already consider himself an adult capable of making his own decisions. It's important that he understands the dangers of his behavior - this discussion needs to happen, and it might have the most impact ...

None of us are religious and I'm unsure of the origin of their concerns. Well, then go an ask them. There are a few completely different things that may be going on here: They feel that it's really not a good thing that you are 27 and living at home. They try encourage you to get a decent job and a place of your own by making your stay awkward. They ...

I have/had the same problem. I'm 21 but, my mom also isn't tolerating most of my decisions. My solution to all kinds of getting support in my decision is to do what I have to do and let happen what has to happen :). Usually people don't treat you as a serious person until you do not have some background that proves your decisions to be correct. With ...

If you want to maintain a relationship with him, "I'm already an adult and have my own plans" isn't going to contribute to it. Perhaps you just need to plan further in advance. If you know now that 2 weeks from now you'll be spending the day together, you won't make conflicting plans with other people. A movie followed by a meal is a great choice because ...

We had similar problems with my mother-in-law, although not to such a degree. What helped for us was when someone described the reason behind her behavior as being due to her "love language." There's a book about it if you're interested in learning more. Essentially, the "language" your mother uses to express her love is performing acts of service, and ...

It's never pleasant to get advice you don't want. It's even more unpleasant to be quizzed and questioned, and then have your answers rejected as invalid. Assuming you want a nice relationship with your mother, I recommend two approaches. First, and most important, remind yourself that she doesn't get a vote. You will take the actions you've decided on ...

I can relate to this. But first off, be thankful that you have caring parents. Not everybody does. Let's understand this from the perspective of the parent - they want their child to be happy, secure, and in general do well in life, (that means different things in different cultures but you get the gist). You will need to start talking to the adult in your ...

I agree with Beofett -- your mother is caring too much, and she must learn to let you go and let you live your own life. Because she's obviously not able to, it's up to you to make her understand. You want to change from being treated like a child to being treated like an equal adult. This is a huge step, a huge change in how your mother should treat you ...

There are also valid secular reasons for a lot of "religious" rules. Sex has very real financial consequences. It also happens to be highly motivational, and perhaps your parents don't want you to get too comfortable in a temporary situation. I happen to personally have religious objections, but I think I would try very hard to put those aside in order ...

I can think of several reasons why an adult would be living with their parents. Financial dependence (they can't get a good job). Physical dependence (such as a disability). Emotional dependence (they can't get their act together). To help out (for example, with an aged or infirm parent). With situation 1, provided the adult is making positive steps ...

When I was living with my parents, I made the decision on my own to help them with the household expenses particularly with the utility bills and other expenses. My parents have done so much things for me, and I believe it is a way of lending them a hand, so they can also enjoy the fruits of their labor. I believe that adult children need not be told ...

Are you paying a reasonable rent to your parents or are you staying for free? In my mind this makes a big difference! If you are a guest (i.e. staying for free) then although you may not agree with your parents you owe it to them to follow the rules that they've established. They have after all allowed you to return home and to put a roof over your head. ...

Culturally, parents want the best for their offspring- they care for you through your formative years and will become very attached. Many parents find watching each of the steps towards adulthood that their kids take gives a sense of loss, as in the end the relationship will no longer be carer and cared-for, and may eventually reverse. Is your mother ...

It's the parents' house and they would be the ones to decide. How much leeway do you have to negotiate? It depends on the kind of relationship you have with your parents. Are they autocratic, or do you get to have your say? the wider impact of either decision on the other people involved and the overall cultural acceptance of such behavior. In some ...

May be parents don't like his girlfriend, so they try to make her stay uncomfortable. Or they are afraid if they let son share the bed with her, she will move in too. Or may be it's a hint for a son, that it is time for him to get his own place. Anyway that's parent's house, so they make the rules.

Your son is 27 and due to financial problems, you've invited him to move home. His 30 year old girlfriend is coming to stay. Should you oppose them sharing his double bed during her visit? No. Is it reasonable? No. Something is up... ask them why. Maybe it's as simple as "we'll be grossed out hearing 'it'" to which there's a simple solution: ...