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118

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to: Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere? Don't go to Churches: You surely know ...


53

You are the victim of abuse. You do not deserve to live in fear. You do not deserve to be hit, or to be shouted at. You father's behaviour is not acceptable. You might want to look for organisations in your country that can provide help and advice to women in your situation. I don't speak Arabic, and so I can't do a search for organisations.


21

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all ...


13

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available role. If you join as a volunteer, you will get much better treatment than if you were conscripted and you might even become an officer. Working in this type of ...


13

I might be flamed off the site for this but are you sure your reaction is justified? From your description your son's big transgressions are drinking, smoking, stealing and telling lies. I can think of only a few I've known who have not done one or all of those things when they were young. It's stupid, irresponsible, and can damage your future but it's also ...


12

If he brings in studies, you can always do the same... but they should be balanced ones, that nevertheless support your point: that yes, compared to most legal drugs, it may be harmless: in moderation and for an adult! An added benefit would be that you can teach him how to actually read and evaluate studies. Make him aware of interaction between drugs as ...


9

when I was driving and he used bad words to me and punched to my head many time, I wanted to call 911 , but he said I will kill you later if you do it. We asked police before , but they said we can help you if something happened !! You were assaulted. Call them. The fact that he is your son only matters as far as you are responsible for him. If he ...


8

As the father in this situation, the first thing I would do is thoroughly examine my life to find why I think that remaining idle after retirement is a bad idea. Having developed philosophically sound reasons for continuing to work hard even when it is not necessary, I would then expound these to my son and try to bring him around to my viewpoint. It's all ...


6

This is an interesting question because it pertains to all expressions of sympathy. I'll presume the dialogue was included to try to make sense of the interaction and her feelings, so an appropriate message can be sent. One of the more helpful explanations of the principles of expressions of sympathy is that comfort should only flow in one direction, and ...


6

I'm across the border from you in Israel. I happen to know a Beduin girl who was in a very similar situation to you, and she claimed that it is very very common. I lost touch with her when she did the only thing that she could do to leave her father: marry. She married the first man she could, I believe she is his second wife. I realize that the suggestion ...


5

What your father is doing is wrong. The role of a man in a family is to serve his wife and protect his family. For a man to hit a woman is inexcusable. In the West, we teach this as fact. A man who strikes a woman is beneath contempt. I know you are religious, but I'm going to go out on a limb. The one organisation I know of who are actively doing work with ...


5

I know what I am suggesting is extreme, but so is your situation and your fear. Get out. At least out of the city. You have survived this far, and you DO have the strength to reach out with this question. That shows a lot of determination already. I am not sure how you can best pull this off, because I don't know what resources you are denied and which ...


5

Two months ago I got angry enough with my dad that I punched him in the arm and gave him a big black patch for a week. What I did was wrong, and I apologized 30 minutes after the incident. What he did was he started scolding me about something he knew nothing about, had nothing to do with him, and generally was being a nuisance. He still had no idea what ...


5

I am sorry, this is a tough situation. Many people have mentioned the possibility of depression. Now, I am not going to diagnose over the internet, but your daughter is showing some signs of it (not getting up, not being interested in personal hygiene); however, other things you mention, like wearing jeans and sneakers are not a sign of depression and make ...


5

Hi, how are you today? Or, if you really feel the need to say something. I wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. If you want to talk about it, I am here. And if you don't, I will respect that. In the conversation you posted, your daughter told you to stop talking about it three times, the last time very directly. People deal with loss ...


5

The answer to getting someone off of drugs or to focus attention elsewhere isn't to tell them not to do them because they are bad. Most people who use, know the downside they cause. Very often, they choose to ignore the facts our of ignorance or care. If you want someone to stop using, the best thing you can do is help them find what they are passionate ...


5

What are the best ways to get a kid to put drugs in their past and move on? You're doing it now, pretty much. You can't change your child's thinking any more than he can change yours. But you can exert the control you have over his behavior by limiting your support of him financially. This is perfectly legit, unless mental illness is involved. As you ...


4

Most children who are older and have bad feeling towards their parents have it due to malformed boundaries. It's likely that the issues with finance and moving house etc are actually surface symptoms. The real issues are more likely to be around the personal relationship he has with his family, since I know that if I have a close and positive relationship ...


4

Your situation is indeed very sad. You have tried to do everything right by your son, unfortunately he has made very poor choices, which have negatively impacted everyone. I think all you can really do is try to keep yourselves safe, and never be in a situation where either of you is alone with him. Unfortunately a drug users word cannot be trusted. He may ...


4

This answer is being given by someone unfamiliar with the laws and customs of India, so it may or may not apply. You have a right to peace which is not superseded by the rights of others to invade your home. You (and your husband) paid for your home, you own it (do you own it by law? Does your son have a valid claim to any of it at all?) and it is the place ...


3

You mentioned you are at University.... and have some English skills (and I gather some computer skills). So that is a great advantage. You already have some employable skills. A completed degree could also help. Maybe you have to look to finish your degree then line-up a job in a different city and then off you go. Perhaps in this context you could leave ...


3

I was that kid. I did it out of boredom and exploration of the mind. Many other kids did drugs to fill a void in their souls or to numb a part of themselves that they don't know how to live with. Others still are just entitled and sheltered and have this sunconcious need to modify, harm or hurt themselves in a way that life is naturally supposed to beat ...


3

It is irrelevant who is right. A pathological need to be right is a sign that someone is being controlled by their ego and it wouldn't matter if you could prove beyond all doubt that your father is in fact wrong you would not convince him, so stop trying. Let him think he is right, what difference does it make to you unless you have a need to be right as ...


2

It sounds like he is struggling with addiction issues. Stealing liquor is a huge red flag. With addiction, things like values, ethics and planning for the future go out the window. This is not a reflection of the person underneath but a symptom of the problem. If you can help him work through that problem, you will get the person back. Unfortunately, ...


2

Your situation is a difficult one. But be strong and persevere. Every step you make, do it wisely and carefully after talking to various trusted people. You will definitely need friends, or if not, go to some humanitarian organization (search via web, and you can zoom down easily to places near your place) for help. Seek a few organizations and ...


1

Unfortunately all you can do now is demonstrate "tough love" and cut him out of your lives, until such time as he shows that he has made concrete changes to improve. There are two things that make this true: 1) If you were able to help him, you would already have done it. 2) It won't help his life at all if he harms you, and when you are around him, that ...


1

So you don't like your father... but how much of a talking relationship do you have? If he knows you are miserable, then nobody likes to cause misery. Sometimes such people try to exert authority and fix what they see as a problem. However, he may be willing to just agree to dismiss/disown you. If he does agree to that, then you may not need to flee your ...


1

From your question, I assume that your daughter is emotionally and mentally capable of attending school and/or working. I also infer from the question that she's never left home, has never had a job, and still acts like a teenager. If my inferences are correct, the issue may be that she has never emotionally matured because she never has had to do so. The ...


1

To answer your first question: Talk with your brother about his problems, if he has any. Be open and willing to help him. To explain further: It sounds like he already has many traits of an outstanding citizen (honest, intelligent, a natural leader, works hard at his job), but happens to be very empathetic in regards to his own feelings toward himself ...


1

Your child is an adult, and as somebody else said, it's almost certainly too late to significantly change their view of drugs. I would recommend side-stepping the issue, and just declaring that your continued support of his college expenses is dependent on his hitting academic milestones (i.e., challenging classes, good grades, progress toward a diploma). ...



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