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117

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to: Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere? Don't go to Churches: You surely know ...


53

You are the victim of abuse. You do not deserve to live in fear. You do not deserve to be hit, or to be shouted at. You father's behaviour is not acceptable. You might want to look for organisations in your country that can provide help and advice to women in your situation. I don't speak Arabic, and so I can't do a search for organisations.


21

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all ...


13

I might be flamed off the site for this but are you sure your reaction is justified? From your description your son's big transgressions are drinking, smoking, stealing and telling lies. I can think of only a few I've known who have not done one or all of those things when they were young. It's stupid, irresponsible, and can damage your future but it's also ...


13

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available role. If you join as a volunteer, you will get much better treatment than if you were conscripted and you might even become an officer. Working in this type of ...


12

If he brings in studies, you can always do the same... but they should be balanced ones, that nevertheless support your point: that yes, compared to most legal drugs, it may be harmless: in moderation and for an adult! An added benefit would be that you can teach him how to actually read and evaluate studies. Make him aware of interaction between drugs as ...


12

You are not required to have a relationship with anyone you don't want to. Full stop. You've made it through some rough times by working hard; you're allowed to feel what you feel towards this person, and act in whatever way is best for your mental and emotional health. If you wish, you can tell B that you do not wish to have contact now via ...


8

As the father in this situation, the first thing I would do is thoroughly examine my life to find why I think that remaining idle after retirement is a bad idea. Having developed philosophically sound reasons for continuing to work hard even when it is not necessary, I would then expound these to my son and try to bring him around to my viewpoint. It's all ...


6

Its so backwards to the typical narrative nowadays. This is a very one-sided sort of question but is also very specific to the type of culture you were grown up in. When I was a kid, my friend had a three/four generation household. I currently live in a three-generational household where I am the main provider for my household and never ask my parents ...


6

This is an interesting question because it pertains to all expressions of sympathy. I'll presume the dialogue was included to try to make sense of the interaction and her feelings, so an appropriate message can be sent. One of the more helpful explanations of the principles of expressions of sympathy is that comfort should only flow in one direction, and ...


6

I'm across the border from you in Israel. I happen to know a Beduin girl who was in a very similar situation to you, and she claimed that it is very very common. I lost touch with her when she did the only thing that she could do to leave her father: marry. She married the first man she could, I believe she is his second wife. I realize that the suggestion ...


5

I know what I am suggesting is extreme, but so is your situation and your fear. Get out. At least out of the city. You have survived this far, and you DO have the strength to reach out with this question. That shows a lot of determination already. I am not sure how you can best pull this off, because I don't know what resources you are denied and which ...


5

Hi, how are you today? Or, if you really feel the need to say something. I wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. If you want to talk about it, I am here. And if you don't, I will respect that. In the conversation you posted, your daughter told you to stop talking about it three times, the last time very directly. People deal with loss ...


5

The answer to getting someone off of drugs or to focus attention elsewhere isn't to tell them not to do them because they are bad. Most people who use, know the downside they cause. Very often, they choose to ignore the facts our of ignorance or care. If you want someone to stop using, the best thing you can do is help them find what they are passionate ...


5

What are the best ways to get a kid to put drugs in their past and move on? You're doing it now, pretty much. You can't change your child's thinking any more than he can change yours. But you can exert the control you have over his behavior by limiting your support of him financially. This is perfectly legit, unless mental illness is involved. As you ...


5

I am sorry, this is a tough situation. Many people have mentioned the possibility of depression. Now, I am not going to diagnose over the internet, but your daughter is showing some signs of it (not getting up, not being interested in personal hygiene); however, other things you mention, like wearing jeans and sneakers are not a sign of depression and make ...


5

What your father is doing is wrong. The role of a man in a family is to serve his wife and protect his family. For a man to hit a woman is inexcusable. In the West, we teach this as fact. A man who strikes a woman is beneath contempt. I know you are religious, but I'm going to go out on a limb. The one organisation I know of who are actively doing work with ...


5

when I was driving and he used bad words to me and punched to my head many time, I wanted to call 911 , but he said I will kill you later if you do it. We asked police before , but they said we can help you if something happened !! You were assaulted. Call them. The fact that he is your son only matters as far as you are responsible for him. If he ...


4

You can request a meeting with them at their mother's house or somewhere else they love. And it is not at all as difficult as you imagine. Do not stop yourself; let them feel that you truly love them, tell them something you never told them. Most of all make them feel that no matter what happens, you will be there for them. (Note: My father is not very ...


4

Ahh. Culture. I think its less the fact that you're living with your parents, than why. In india, in general you live with your parents (or live with you) often so you can take care of them. There's also a very different expectation of "private space" - kids tend to share rooms from what I've seen. You eventually move out when you get your own family, but ...


4

Well, you're an adult now, seems time to act like one and confront your parents. That's assuming it's possible to have a reasonable discussion with them on some subjects without too much of a negative impact...or be ready to deal with those negative impacts. IMHO, the main advantages to you "coming clean" would be : That's an indicator of how mature you ...


4

Most children who are older and have bad feeling towards their parents have it due to malformed boundaries. It's likely that the issues with finance and moving house etc are actually surface symptoms. The real issues are more likely to be around the personal relationship he has with his family, since I know that if I have a close and positive relationship ...


4

Two months ago I got angry enough with my dad that I punched him in the arm and gave him a big black patch for a week. What I did was wrong, and I apologized 30 minutes after the incident. What he did was he started scolding me about something he knew nothing about, had nothing to do with him, and generally was being a nuisance. He still had no idea what ...


3

I was that kid. I did it out of boredom and exploration of the mind. Many other kids did drugs to fill a void in their souls or to numb a part of themselves that they don't know how to live with. Others still are just entitled and sheltered and have this sunconcious need to modify, harm or hurt themselves in a way that life is naturally supposed to beat ...


3

If you can't risk the chance you will have more restrictions, you just continue as you have been until graduate and live on your own. But if you want to break the pattern, of course you will risk have more restrictions (though it's hard to happen because you don't tell them about your prior misdeeds so your parents don't know you are hiding things from ...


3

I'll address what other answers didn't seem to yet. I don't even feel comfortable sharing any feelings with 'B' because of how they have neglected me in the past. Not sure if you mean that you just don't want B to know how you feel; OR that you don't mind if they know but you don't want to go through the process of telling them? If it's the former, ...


3

You mentioned you are at University.... and have some English skills (and I gather some computer skills). So that is a great advantage. You already have some employable skills. A completed degree could also help. Maybe you have to look to finish your degree then line-up a job in a different city and then off you go. Perhaps in this context you could leave ...


3

It is irrelevant who is right. A pathological need to be right is a sign that someone is being controlled by their ego and it wouldn't matter if you could prove beyond all doubt that your father is in fact wrong you would not convince him, so stop trying. Let him think he is right, what difference does it make to you unless you have a need to be right as ...


2

Some people have really awful experiences of their parents, ranging from criminal levels of abuse through to mild misunderstanding, but most people just don't understand that. In this situation you've clearly said that you have no wish to get back in contact with your father. That will be hard for him to hear and to live with, but that's a problem for him ...



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