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16

Am I really wrong ??? The situation you're in is truly heartbreaking. No one but you can decide for yourself if you're right or wrong. However, other people can share their experiences and beliefs. One question that comes to mind is, would you feel the same exact way if the other person were a male? In other words, if she didn't come out as gay and ...


14

My comment was a little harsh, here is how I feel about this situation: Your daughter is an adult. You have absolutely no right to tell her who she can and cannot befriend. I don't know what this girl has or has not done, but I do know parents almost always hold a bias. I remember growing up, my parents wouldn't let me hang out with certain friends ...


9

Disclaimer: I'll use the word 'relationship' in the general sense, encompassing any kind of relationship; I'll use the term 'exclusive relationship' to refer to, well, an exclusive, mutually agreed to relationship. So, let me recap. He told her he doesn't want to be in an exclusive relationship; he wants them to be friends, and he want to have sex with her ...


5

I too have a twenty year old daughter. It's not my place to approve or disapprove of her friends. Perhaps that's why I know and get along with her friends, and am more involved in her life. Is my daughter gay? I don't think so, but she's never been romantically attached to any boy for very long, so it's possible she is still finding out who she is. Either ...


5

Ultimately raising your siblings is your parent's responsibility, not yours. Helping them out is a nice gesture, but eventually you will move out and they won't be able to depend on your help. The solution depends a bit on how much of an obligation you have to help out. If part of your living-at-home arrangement is giving rides, etc. then you need to do ...


4

I really feel your pain and I think I understand the situation that you're in. Don't despair - you will find a way to make it work - where you can balance your need for independence and respect and still have a relationship with your parents. I lived in Russia until I was 16 and in US since then. I have went through something similar with my mom and my ...


3

Negotiating boundaries in families can be very tricky. The first time you stand up for something you believe in against a parent who you know won't be happy about is difficult. Be comforted knowing that pretty much every adult you know got through it, and so will you. You are an adult, and it is time for you to make this step. Choose your words ahead of ...


3

You face a really difficult situation. None of us can solve it for you, but we can perhaps make you some suggestions. Are you familiar with a technique called Ask Why Five Times? You start with a problem, like "my son won't leave" and you ask yourself "why?". You talk yourself through it and conclude something like "he is afraid" or "he doesn't know how" or ...


3

You need to get delegated authority. Since you are doing things with them that the parents would do, you need to get the authority of the parents to complete the tasks smoothly. I'm glad you know that they aren't your children, but you're acting in the capacity of a childcare worker, so you need to have the authority to do that. Agree a set of consequences ...


3

I am so sorry you are going through this. If the issue is that your daughter is gay, and you cannot accept her homosexuality, then you will probably lose her forever, and I feel very bad for your daughter. Alternatively, if the issue is that you feel her partner is a bad choice for her, then I would encourage you to reach out to your daughter and support ...


2

I have a different sleep disorder. It doesn't prevent me from working, but it causes a lot of sick days sometimes. In order to feel my best, I have to sleep 11-12 hours on weeknights and 14-16 on weekends, which means I often don't have a lot of time for anything other than work. Either that, or I am tired all day. Let me put it this way. Sleep seems ...


1

I am at the parent end of a similar situation - 23 year old son who lives at home "part time" and with his girlfriend the rest of the time (20 miles up the road, closer to their respective colleges). I decided that being welcoming to him and his girlfriend (both well into adulthood, and in a long term stable relationship) should take priority over my ...


1

I don't think you're necessarily enabling him -- I had a friend whose brother had lost his license after repeated DUI's and he continued to drive (eventually going to jail as a result), so there's sometimes a very good reason for somebody to NOT be driving a car. Even if he's simply not well off and struggles to hold down a job, pushing him into a car ...


1

This is not medical advice. 1) rule out other factors. Make sure he does not have thyroid problems, sleep apnea, drug or alcohol misuse problems, etc. 2) explain that you are supporting him during his time of illness but that you expect certain behaviours in return. i) he must try to maintain sleep hygiene where possible. ii) he must work hard to help ...


1

I am a mother of 22 years old child , very nice guy and doing more that great in school but still ignoring me little, learned the method isn't ignoring him back or making his life miserable the right thing to do, or telling him leave house, but showing love and having great conversations about what I feel, expressing I don't need him because have friends and ...


1

I'm not sure how at 21 how your parents are "not letting you" live in your own apartment. You are past the age required to enter into contracts on your own volition. If you are employed and have a steady income, it should not be difficult to sign a lease to rent an apartment. That said, it sounds like your parents are opposed to the idea, and it is quite ...


1

There's a saying "once bitten, twice shy". It sounds like your family may have been disappointed that your brother's degree didn't lead to the great job he hoped it would in the time-frame expected, and right or wrong they worry that investing in your education could be an equally non-fruitful investment. That's not really fair to you in any way, but it's ...


1

If it were me I would tell him to be completely open and honest from the start about what he wants from the relationship and not to lead her on. As long as he does that then as an adult the woman involved is perfectly capable of making up her own mind about how she wants to take things forward. It may sound cynical but women, in my experience, are not ...


1

Did it ever occur to him not to sleep with her? He sounds like he wants it all. At everyone else's expense. I'm more floored that you found it hard to respond to him. Would you react the same way if it were your daughter. I don't think so. Tell him to leave her alone. There is no such thing as a friend with benefits.



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