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118

You are 21. You are an adult under Egyptian law. If you need missing papers, you can apply for them without having a guardian. You only need someone to vouch that you live with them, which brings us to: Do you have any person you trust you can talk to? Can this person shelter you or provide you with shelter elsewhere? Don't go to Churches: You surely know ...


53

You are the victim of abuse. You do not deserve to live in fear. You do not deserve to be hit, or to be shouted at. You father's behaviour is not acceptable. You might want to look for organisations in your country that can provide help and advice to women in your situation. I don't speak Arabic, and so I can't do a search for organisations.


21

sorry to hear about your situation. It is for sure a very difficult situation. The fact you are feeling anxiety is natural and very understandable, so don't be down on yourself for that. The fact you have survived shows your strength. I think you are seeing the situation with great clarity. Living with ongoing anxiety is definitely best avoided if at all ...


13

Sounds scary. I would advise you to join the army. The army in Egypt has a two year term of service which will go by in no time - as a woman, administrative and medical jobs are the only available role. If you join as a volunteer, you will get much better treatment than if you were conscripted and you might even become an officer. Working in this type of ...


6

Read books by experts in the field to understand the why's behind the behaviors of children adopted out of foster care, which will give you a foundation for finding solutions. Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky is a good one to start with. Find foster adoption mentors and supports. Mine is ...


6

In most jurisdictions, foster parents must take a class in which they cover this topic in some depth. Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot you can do, other than being aware of the problem, recognizing it as a result of abandonment, and being there for the child. You will be much better at empathizing in that area than most foster parents, and I'm sure ...


6

I'm across the border from you in Israel. I happen to know a Beduin girl who was in a very similar situation to you, and she claimed that it is very very common. I lost touch with her when she did the only thing that she could do to leave her father: marry. She married the first man she could, I believe she is his second wife. I realize that the suggestion ...


5

What your father is doing is wrong. The role of a man in a family is to serve his wife and protect his family. For a man to hit a woman is inexcusable. In the West, we teach this as fact. A man who strikes a woman is beneath contempt. I know you are religious, but I'm going to go out on a limb. The one organisation I know of who are actively doing work with ...


5

I know what I am suggesting is extreme, but so is your situation and your fear. Get out. At least out of the city. You have survived this far, and you DO have the strength to reach out with this question. That shows a lot of determination already. I am not sure how you can best pull this off, because I don't know what resources you are denied and which ...


5

In all likelihood, she was exposed to some kind of abuse before she was put up for adoption (unless you adopted her as a newborn?). And even if she was adopted as a baby, as she becomes old enough to comprehend that her birth family "gave her away" she will have issues to deal with. Because both our children were adopted my husband and I have read a lot of ...


4

My situation was very similar to yours. My husband and I filed natural paternity since neither of the boys legally had a father at birth, and the courts gave them his last name and amended their SSN's and birth certificate so that we are protected legally. Neither of my boys knew their "donor" or bio-dad as we came to call him when they got older. We just ...


4

Even if he doesn't understand it now, he does still know about it. As he gets older and gains more understanding of how the world works, he'll reinterpret his adoption story bit by bit as more of it starts making sense to him. As long as you keep being open and honest about where he came from, it will never come as a big shock like it does to someone told ...


4

One additional suggestion: educate any other adults who will be spending a lot of time with the child, such as relatives, teachers, or respite providers. One of the issues that you see a lot with attachment issues is a highly developed ability to play adults off each other so that the child remains in control. Letting people know up front can help ...


3

There are 3 possible options... Adoption. Not as easy as you might think, even if you adopt from overseas. It is typically very expensive, and takes years. Surrogacy. Still very expensive, and a legal minefield. Foster care. This would be the quickest, easiest (but still not easy) option. However this typically isn't a permanent arrangement. You might be ...


3

If things have been going as you say then I'd suggest you don't 'tell' her anything - she's 14 and old enough to start having some input into her life so why not ask her? Just summarise the situation between you and her as you see it which is that she has had problems and got into trouble back home etc. but since coming to stay with you see that she is ...


3

I sometimes feel conflicted and depressed about not being their father. [...] I feel like I can't get any recognition for fulfilling that role because I am "just a brother". Question your mindset: Stopp feeling depressed about what you are not. Instead feel awesome about what you are. You are not "just a brother", you are the older brother, who ...


3

You mentioned you are at University.... and have some English skills (and I gather some computer skills). So that is a great advantage. You already have some employable skills. A completed degree could also help. Maybe you have to look to finish your degree then line-up a job in a different city and then off you go. Perhaps in this context you could leave ...


2

Your situation is a difficult one. But be strong and persevere. Every step you make, do it wisely and carefully after talking to various trusted people. You will definitely need friends, or if not, go to some humanitarian organization (search via web, and you can zoom down easily to places near your place) for help. Seek a few organizations and ...


1

So you don't like your father... but how much of a talking relationship do you have? If he knows you are miserable, then nobody likes to cause misery. Sometimes such people try to exert authority and fix what they see as a problem. However, he may be willing to just agree to dismiss/disown you. If he does agree to that, then you may not need to flee your ...


1

If you're adopting a baby, I don't think it really matters. If you're adopting an older child (who are the ones most in need), that's a different matter, because some of these children can have problems with abusive behavior resulting from prior trauma - and you won't necessarily know ahead of time if your prospective child has these issues. You will need ...



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