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52

Am I the only person who thinks that it's entirely trivial for the next person to use the toilet to correct the seat position for their needs? I don't see why this is worth complaining about. Just teach your kids to make sure the seat is where they need it to be so that they can do what they need to do, and leave it at that. The whole "men must be the ...


20

To agree with several of the above non-answers, and actually answer the question, as posted: the healthiest, smartest, most sensical means of teaching him to either not raise the toilet seat or to at least return it to closed would be ...to be a good example. For the several reasons already mentioned about gender roles, health, toddler safety, etc, ...


19

As a person with ADD, I can tell you what helps with me. Post-it notes! Put a post-it note or a bright colored sheet on the wall reminding everyone (don't single him out) to "Please close the toilet seat when you have finished your business". Bright colors! I use neon yellow post-its to remind me of things I have to do consistently.


13

Be consistent. Rather than making the toilet a "special case", focus on teaching your child to close things he's opened when he's done with them. If you open the fridge, you close the door when you're done. When you open the door to go outside, you close it when you've gone through it. If you open a jar of pickles, you close the lid when you're done. If ...


11

There are seats that come down on their own, like a slow spring, it's down a few minutes later. I would not put this kind of emotional pressure on a 10 year old, even without ADHD. But for your son, I'd choose very carefully what to make an issue.


9

According to ADDitude Magazine, there are multiple things that one can do to help children with ADD write things. In the classroom: Set up a note system. Start small and build skills. Demonstrate essay-writing. Give writing prompts. Encourage colourful descriptions. Explain the writing process. Allow enough time. Don't grade early work. ...


8

So Far, So Good Seems to me like given the circumstances, things are already looking up and pretty great. I wouldn't recommend asking him to treat you like a father, because you just aren't his father. You do, however, deserve that he treats you with respect just like he should treat other people with respect, and just like he should treat authoritarian ...


8

I believe one of the original points about putting the "seat" down (actually the entire lid) is so that it doesn't spray stuff everywhere when you flush. When you flush, polluted water vapour escapes and takes ages to settle - and there are probably things in any bathroom you don't want all those germs on. Dr Charles Gerba PhD did a study on this which ...


8

I have the same concern with my children with ADD for similar reasons. I found that playing games like Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Zingo and as they get a bit older games like Guess Who, Sorry, and games of that ilk really help them. They enjoy the personal experience they have with a parent and they learn to sit, wait their turn, and finish out a ...


6

I have an 8yr old boy without ADHD and still get some of that. First off, understand. Make sure you fully comprehend how your child sees you and your actions, and how he feels towards you and your actions. Put yourself in his shoes. Be him. You can't really make him understand you unless you first understand him and make sure he knows that you really do ...


6

I'm always amused in these discussions, where women take the view that men are "at fault" because we leave the seat up. Excuse me? I'm responsible for you not watching where you're putting your butt? I never even heard of this "issue" until my girlfriend gave an anguished squawk one morning and "accused" me of leaving the seat up. My response? "Yup. So?". ...


5

As a former preschool teacher I'd like first to point out that toddlers are known for having little to no attention span ADHD or not. As a teacher that spent time in a specialized classroom with middle school students where a majority of my students had severe ADHD in addition to other learning/behavioral disabilities, the first and most important things ...


5

When my Son was about 5 yrs old and asked why put the lid down, I replied "to keep the snakes from getting out". "Really Dad?" "No Son, but it is fun to think of that way". Lid has been closed ever since.


4

Some kids really do need the medication, but others can adapt and do well with some adjustments to their environment and the expectations set on them. While these things aren't information about medicating, you could see if trying some of these options helps enough that you can put off medicating for another year or two or see if you don't need to medicate ...


4

Both of my sons (now 12 and 9) are ADHD and both have been taking medication (Concerta) daily for about three years. My older son had behavioural issues since kindergarten, but teachers always told us how bright he was. His marks were fine but he was continually getting in trouble, and was suspended a number of times for violent behaviour. He was as ...


3

While not speaking directly to this specific issue, I have found that this Reddit does a wonderful job of explaining ADHD to the non-sufferer. As an adult survivor of ADD, and having an ADHD child myself, I can say it resonates strongly with us and reflects our experiences quite well. Patience and acceptance go a long way, and being willing to examine and ...


3

You might try drilling: repeatedly doing the same sequence of steps in a task as fast as possible. The repetitions don't have to be back to back, but pick a couple of rote daily tasks and do it every day or every other day for a few days or as long as it might be enjoyable/acceptable. We do this with my eldest (as a fun game) to see how fast he can get ...


3

It is unlikely it is ADHD, but the only one to diagnose that is a trained therapist (which I am not). It is extremely rare that ADHD is diagnosed first in adults, but it does happen (as it did with me, for example.) ADHD, however, isn't the only mental "illness" out there, as I am sure you know. Therapy is unlikely to hurt, so why not try it? Something ...


3

The solution is to develop a curriculum that's less about sitting still and reading quietly and more about hands-on discovery and invention. In the US, that can be tricky, depending on where you live. In major cities, you may have luck finding schools that cater more to that type of learning style. While not specifically about ADD, this article in SLATE ...


3

I think when it comes to kids with ADD/ADHD, it's important to teach them coping mechanisms. I've known kids who memorized baseball stats because they were REALLY into baseball and this was able to help them focus. I've taught students who would doodle/draw to help keep them focused, but they were still listening and paying attention. Generally, a good ...


3

I've worked at a school for kids with learning differences (mostly ADHD), and here are some suggestions that we've used: 1) Try to have the child seated as close to the teacher as possible. It makes paying attention come more naturally, and makes is easier for the teacher to refocus the child without singling them out. A simple tap on the desk or eye ...


3

Some techniques that have worked with our 8 year old girl, with an ADHD diagnosis, to make the writing process easier. And when the writing is easier, the effort to get her to do it is also easier. Using ruled paper - it helps when she has boundaries for writing. A weighted writing wrist band and a pencil holder - helps with legibility. Writing in short ...


2

"How do you decide whether or not to medicate your child?" Your gut. Honestly, I think that's the best that any parent can do right now. If your child can't see the blackboard, you don't question getting them glasses, but when it comes to mental health, it's a much fuzzier, grayer world of diagnosis and treatment options and it's a challenge. I have ADD ...


2

Maria Montessori as you know was the first woman physician in Italy. In what became her life-work, she accepted children who had been cast off by the public education system at the time and worked what were considered "miracles" when, in reality, all she did was listen, follow, prepare an environment, and mentor. Of note was her continual examination and ...


2

I had a classroom devoted to severe ADHD cases for three years. This is how I thought about it and handled things for many of my kids. This is also the basics of the techniques I am using with my own daughter that is going to be evaluated shortly and has been struggling significantly with writing done in the "traditional way." Since switching to some ...


2

This sounds exactly like my house, down to the 8 and 5 year olds. Only I have girls. Unfortunately, I don't really have any answers for you, only sympathy and letting you know that you're not alone. First, keep in contact with your doctor about the medication. If what your son is taking isn't working well enough, then it needs adjusted. You may need ...


2

Seems that you didn't sign up for any of this, nor did your wife. But you're doing what you think is best for an individual that needs it. I'm not going to try to address the specific points, but to give one point of foundational advice based on what you've written: He has no family. Be his family. The easy part: Consider his maternal unit out of the ...


2

I think this is a fascinating question because I know I do it and my 6-year-old does it as well. I think we all do this to some extent. But, you're right, the difference is that, as an adult, you can identify the problem and deal with it. The guidance counselor at my son's school recently did a talk on this topic geared more for older elementary ...


2

Beyond the "consideration for your family" angle, try taking a health approach. In order for you to smell something, little particles of that something must be floating around in the air and drift into your nose, for you to detect it. That means if you can smell poop or pee, poop or pee is drifting through the air. Now, a 10 year old boy is probably not ...


2

I'm not sure if this is age appropriate, but much of the advice I've received around teaching bathroom habits has been using prominently displayed picture schedules. You could easily adapt this to be focused on the behavior you want re-enforced (putting the seat down). These seem to help a lot of kids that have trouble focusing and memorizing multi-step ...



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