Questions tagged [tantrums]

Tantrums are emotional outbursts beyond simple crying, found commonly in stressed persons but mostly small children. In parenting, tantrums may relate mostly to toddlers but also apply to other age groups. Questions may be in regards to coping with, deescalating, preventing, or controlling tantrums.

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112 votes
17 answers
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How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?

My son just turned 2, and he started throwing more tantrums on us. He doesn't eat well or drink enough milk ... and he is becoming more adamant and says "No" more often. If we force him to drink milk,...
Prakash's user avatar
  • 1,567
58 votes
11 answers
17k views

How do I calm a frustrated 6-year-old?

When our 6-year-old daughter is trying something new and hard (homework, reading a hard word, video games, etc.) she can get into a cycle of frustration and anger that ends with her crying in a ball ...
tenpn's user avatar
  • 997
42 votes
10 answers
11k views

Is it possible to spoil a child, but still teach them not to behave spoiled?

My 9-year-old stepson has terrible tantrums. I was abused as a child and used to act out as a result. Teachers and other adults were very hostile to me and failed to recognize my cries for help. So ...
bewildered's user avatar
25 votes
9 answers
8k views

How to help a child accept when an activity is over

My five-year-old really struggles with moving from one activity task to another. For example, we tell him we will only do a certain activity for x amount of time and then be done. It doesn't matter ...
SpencerG's user avatar
  • 582
24 votes
9 answers
66k views

12 year old with major tantrums that I have no idea how to control help needed

I have a 12 year old daughter who is having screaming, door slamming, hour-long rages at the slightest thing. I also have 2 older daughters, aged 17 and 18, who never did this after they were 2 and ...
louise's user avatar
  • 241
20 votes
5 answers
5k views

Does good cop/bad cop work with children?

My wife and I have descended into the toddler years with our first. Along with that, she is getting that classic toddler attitude. We understand it's a growing phase and tantrums and outbursts are ...
SomeShinyObject's user avatar
20 votes
4 answers
2k views

3 year old tantrums in public

Yesterday we (wife, 3 year old son, 6 year old daughter, me) were at a mall. After we stepped off the moving pavement my son decided that he wants to go another direction, and pulled his hand out of ...
Vili's user avatar
  • 303
19 votes
1 answer
4k views

Why does my son behave better when he's alone with one parent than with both?

Whenever I'm alone with my son, we play, have fun, and he even plays alone with his toys for a long time; this also happens when my wife is alone with him. However, when we are both present, he ...
juan's user avatar
  • 693
18 votes
1 answer
2k views

Does a child need to apologize and how should I react while it does not?

Our son is 6 years old and often quite "bullheaded". If something does not go the way he wants, he is very frustrated and quickly shows a tantrum, cries, screams and insults us. We then send him to ...
BBM's user avatar
  • 4,118
17 votes
8 answers
48k views

3.5yr old pre-schooler cannot deal with frustration

Our 3.5 yr old (will be 4 in July) son has a real difficulty handling frustration to the point that it is driving me and my wife insane. Hardly a day goes by where we don't both end up in tears, ...
mluisbrown's user avatar
15 votes
6 answers
24k views

How to react to an indecisive 2.5-year-old?

I have a 2.5-year-old son. It happens mostly when tired but I'll ask him if he wants something and he will say no. Then when I go to put it away or do something else, he freaks out that he wants it. ...
Chrissy's user avatar
  • 151
14 votes
4 answers
1k views

Strategies to reduce computer game interest

We have a moderately strict rule about electronics time at the house -- as long as their homework, chores, or other responsibilities are finished, each kid gets to play a computer or video game for an ...
Acire's user avatar
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14 votes
3 answers
64k views

Any advice on how to react to my 4 year old who gets hysterical instead of solving her "problem"?

My four year old daughter has had this issue recently where if anything goes "wrong" she completely loses it. I put "wrong" in quotes because its the slightest thing and, in particular, its ...
leora's user avatar
  • 921
13 votes
3 answers
91k views

How can I keep my toddler from scratching himself when he is upset?

Whenever my toddler gets very upset or throws a fit, he has a tendency to rake his fingernails very hard across his face, often drawing blood. Currently one side of his face is covered with scratches ...
JSBձոգչ's user avatar
13 votes
3 answers
1k views

How to control tantrums when neigbors don't let the kid "cry it out"?

Little children (say two/three year olds) frequently have tantrums (I want my ... and I want it NOW!!). Normally, one would let him cry a little, then when he calms down explain why you can't give him ...
tantrum's user avatar
  • 131
13 votes
1 answer
5k views

How to help a 3-year-old with vicious temper to express his emotions in a healthy way?

My three year old boy (the middle of three boys; older brother is 9, younger brother is almost 2) is smoldering with anger pretty often. He flies off the handle at little things. I've dealt with a ...
Jax's user avatar
  • 5,275
11 votes
11 answers
18k views

How to deal with a child in an "I can't" phase?

A 3 1/2 year old child has entered an "I can't" phase. He says "he can't" about things he really can do. It becomes hard to detect when to help or not help, because you're supposed to help children ...
bobobobo's user avatar
  • 2,134
11 votes
6 answers
90k views

Can temper tantrums indicate a behavior problem?

I understand that temper tantrums are relatively normal for many children. However, some children seem to have far more temper tantrums than other children their age, and others far fewer. Can ...
user avatar
11 votes
4 answers
22k views

How to handle my 9-year-old's uncontrollable raging fits?

We have four kids: a 9-year-old boy, a 6-year-old girl, a 4-year-old boy and a 20-month-old girl. The 9-year-old boy is in general a delightful, well-behaved, kind and considerate boy. Sometimes he ...
hoanthropos's user avatar
11 votes
3 answers
823 views

My wild 3.5-year-old - have I missed out on the key years of relationship-building and discipline?

I have a 3.5-year-old son. He's bright and energetic, but I'm worried about his behavior, since it seems out of control. He was walking at 7 months. His language has always been good - he knew his ...
alice's user avatar
  • 111
11 votes
3 answers
75k views

What are some possible ways to deal with night-time tantrums

My daughter, who is coming up for 3 years old has never been a good sleeper. She regularly wakes during the night, sometimes up to 3 or 4 times but more commonly once or twice. More often than not ...
Jamiec's user avatar
  • 345
11 votes
2 answers
989 views

How to teach my son that winning is not everything and to lose graciously? My son cries when he loses and quits playing the game

My 5-year-old son cries when he loses a game. He gets impatient and throws tantrums and beats me when he loses. The same thing happens when he plays with his friends also. I have tried to teach him by ...
user5349's user avatar
  • 211
10 votes
6 answers
41k views

How do I get a young toddler to walk holding my hand?

Baby boy is just 12 months, but walks really well and prefers to walk. When we are at the grocery store or somewhere we need to go from Point A to Point B, sometimes he doesn't want to go where I ...
Rachel's user avatar
  • 1,019
10 votes
5 answers
5k views

Should we change a wet diaper and risk triggering a night tantrum or leave our son be?

Our 2-year old son is going through a rough period - we have cut his breastfeeding to once daily (before bed) and his sleep pattern is changing and is therefore unpredictable. Lately, he will often ...
gregopet's user avatar
  • 283
10 votes
4 answers
31k views

How to deal with tantrums in an 8-year-old child?

We have three boys aged 4, 8 and 10. The youngest and eldest seem to be fine and no issues, but the middle child is quite willful and having tantrums. It's like he never quite grew out of the terrible ...
GBH's user avatar
  • 371
10 votes
2 answers
560 views

Allowing freedom of choice to toddler/preschooler isn't working, what next?

I've read a lot about giving children the freedom to choose between acceptable choices, to make them feel like they have some control over things and hence reduce tantrums. And I was pretty convinced ...
learner101's user avatar
  • 3,431
10 votes
1 answer
2k views

How do you deal with a spoiled niece?

My 8 year old niece (actually my cousin's daughter) is really quite spoiled. Her parents constantly bribe her to get her to do what they want. We sometimes take vacations together. On these ...
user avatar
9 votes
4 answers
2k views

4-year-old screaming at every occasion

We are a family of four, my wife currently attends teacher education which in relatively time consuming. Our two sons of 6 and 4-1/2 years are at the kindergarten in the morning and I care for them ...
David Woitkowski's user avatar
8 votes
11 answers
106k views

How can I stop my 5-year-old's violent tantrums?

I am a single mom to a very good 5-year-old little boy ... 90% of the time. About once a week, give or take, he has a meltdown and becomes violent (hitting, scratching, biting, throwing things, etc.). ...
NsMommy9's user avatar
7 votes
5 answers
1k views

How do you prepare for the "terrible twos"?

I keep hearing about how bad things get once a child enters the "terrible twos". I know quite a few parents who claim that the age is just a natural time for frequent temper tantrums, and non-stop ...
user avatar
7 votes
3 answers
5k views

What to do about my toddler wanting everything her way?

We have a 2.5-year-old daughter and we're fighting over everything. Literally everything. When she is alone with someone she is good most of the time, however when there are two of us with her, she ...
Vitomir Kovanovic's user avatar
7 votes
4 answers
705 views

What's the best way to deal with a toddler who cries/paddies when she doesn't get her own way?

I have non-identical twin girls, 22 months old. One of them will cry when she doesn't get her own way and she'll do it fairly quickly even if she is in a good mood. For example, if she wants a ...
chris-richards's user avatar
6 votes
7 answers
4k views

How do I teach my child to express his frustration?

My son is two and testing his boundaries. In general, I'm comfortable with that and have no problem with him getting frustrated when he's not allowed to do something. Unfortunately, his normal mode ...
Steve Jackson's user avatar
6 votes
3 answers
2k views

What's an effective way to deal with toddler transition tantrums ("I don't want to stop yet?")

This isn't a question about what general incentives or methods of discipline work best. I'm looking for techniques specific to transitions, like when it's time to stop playing and go somewhere, etc. ...
Jaydles's user avatar
  • 2,071
6 votes
1 answer
868 views

How can I help my 14-year-old daughter be less angry?

My daughter is 14. She is usually very good and not hard to cope with, but sometimes she gets very angry. For example, when I take away her phone, or her sisters use her belongings, or she can't do ...
Amy.F's user avatar
  • 271
6 votes
3 answers
404 views

How to help 3-year-old son not immediately start whining/throwing fit

I want to start out saying that I realize there is nothing unusual about my son's behavior as I'm about to describe, especially considering the situation (new baby). I am just wondering what, if ...
NeutronStar's user avatar
  • 1,120
6 votes
4 answers
1k views

How to stop my 4-year-old from having tantrums at preschool?

My 4-, soon to be 5-, year-old daughter has temper tantrums at preschool. She does not have them for me and has not had them for me for the past couple of years. I never fed her temper tantrums. It ...
Kelly's user avatar
  • 69
6 votes
3 answers
7k views

What to do about my toddler who suddenly started screaming when I mention bathing or give her a bath?

I have an 18-month-old daughter. She loved having a bath from birth, and now all of a sudden she screams her head off when I mention bath or give her a bath. It's really stressing me out. I don't know ...
Fozia's user avatar
  • 61
6 votes
3 answers
643 views

Where can I get help for my 13-year-old daughter whose tantrums get physical?

I have a 13-year-old daughter. She has had a tantrum tonight after her and her sister got in a little argument. My 13-year-old daughter got to the point where she got physical with my other daughter. ...
Re.'s user avatar
  • 61
6 votes
2 answers
378 views

How to stop our 2-year-old's bedtime tantrums and make her sleep through the night?

Our daughter is approaching 2 and has consistently had issues with bedtime. At the mention of bedtime, she will regularly start crying (but still follows me upstairs to bed). In general, one of us ...
Pyrotechnical's user avatar
6 votes
4 answers
2k views

My 3-year-old screams and smashes his forehead on the floor when he doesn't get what he wants. How can I stop this?

Every few days, my little guy won't get his way on something trivial and decides to throw a fit. He lets out a piercing scream, drops flat, then deliberately smashes his forehead on the floor as hard ...
Gabriel's user avatar
  • 162
6 votes
1 answer
483 views

My 1-year-old freaks out on her father

So we have a beautiful one-year-old daughter and she has always been a daddy‘s girl up until about a week ago. She started freaking out anytime her dad will go to hold her, change her, or even trying ...
Miranda Gregory's user avatar
6 votes
2 answers
22k views

What to do about my 3.5-year-old daughter's tantrums, which have worsened?

My daughter has not really had many full-blown tantrums when she was younger, ever. But now at 3.5 years old, almost 4 years old (on 8/27). She has been having the worst tantrums ever. First, she used ...
Shuna1028's user avatar
6 votes
1 answer
639 views

How do I deal with my out of control 3-year-old?

My son will be 4 in a month, and he is very aggressive toward his brothers. He hits, kicks, bites them and takes their toys. He screams at my 1-year-old constantly when he touches anything or ...
melindascrawford's user avatar
6 votes
3 answers
21k views

How can I encourage my toddler to walk and not be carried?

My 2½ year-old is a very capable walker, but often he decides he just doesn't want to do it. Usually, when we go out, he goes in the push-chair. But sometimes he wriggles and screams until we are ...
Urbycoz's user avatar
  • 2,213
5 votes
9 answers
16k views

How can we avoid tantrums over sweets and cakes?

From the moment he wakes to the moment he falls asleep my toddler barely ever stops asking for "chocolate", "sweeties" or "cakes". He frequently doesn't eat his meals well, but we are fairly strict ...
Urbycoz's user avatar
  • 2,213
5 votes
4 answers
223 views

How to keep a 21-month-old safe, who has learned how to climb out of his crib when angry?

My 21-month-old grandson lives with his Daddy, Nana, and me, Grandma. In the last 3 weeks he has started having temper tantrums. We used to put him in his Pack-n-Play, or crib for time out, but he ...
K.Yones's user avatar
  • 51
5 votes
2 answers
796 views

Is it wrong for a parent to partake in screaming/dominating competitions with their kids?

I'm not the parent and I don't have any kids, so this is just based on what I observe. There's this mother who, when her daughter (about 3 years old) starts crying and making a fuss, she'll lose her ...
Willy Doo's user avatar
5 votes
4 answers
668 views

5-year-old tantrums and misbehavior - what am I doing wrong?

My two boys are 4-years-old and 11 months; they will be 5 and 1 next month. My oldest is exceedingly stubborn, and he's displaying strong leadership traits. When he has his mind set on something, his ...
Tam's user avatar
  • 51
5 votes
4 answers
7k views

3-year-old acts out for parents, but not for nanny

My wife and I are having trouble with our 2.5/3-year-old daughter. We have a newborn (1 month old) that we believe is the reason. We are guessing she is jealous of the attention that her new baby ...
ganders's user avatar
  • 223