Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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8
votes
13answers
8k views

How can I get my 12-year old physically active or into sports when he's never been?

My son is 12-years old, and he has never been into traditional competitive sports. I'm fine with this - not all kids are. He played baseball for a short period when he was 8, but he didn't really ...
2
votes
5answers
193 views

How can I help my 11-year old boy create his first videogame?

Today I sent my child a link to a report about a boy, who has created a commercially viable videogame. My son replied that he may intend to do something similar. I asked him about the bottleneck of ...
2
votes
1answer
130 views

Build character

I have a 9 year old son. He is a lovely, sweet person with a great fondness for his friends. He is emotional, emphatic, smart and overall a nice kid. Today I learned that he is getting himself into ...
6
votes
3answers
970 views

CISV: should I trust?

CISV is a seasoned organization which stages (among other activities) villages: 28 days-long exchanges for children aged 10 coming from all the world. I am considering letting my child take part in ...
2
votes
2answers
243 views

Restless fingers while speaking

It's very hard for me to have a relaxed talk with my son - 12 years old. He does not like talking and if he does he is playing with his fingers. This drives my crazy and it makes me afraid. I tell ...
33
votes
20answers
28k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
1
vote
1answer
161 views

teens nagging at each others

The kids of my GF, 14 and 11 respectively, have that annoying tendancy to nag at each other when night time is coming. Teen girl likes to pout and teenage boy thinks himself as some kind of prima ...
9
votes
3answers
6k views

Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?

My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging ...
15
votes
9answers
17k views

How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?

I have an 11 y/o son who is showing a tendency towards becoming gay. People have seen him walking like a girl but I haven't. I'm thinking that they are just judgmental. On his computer games he ...
11
votes
4answers
1k views

Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?

Some background. I have always been extremely careful about taking precautions to prevent my children from ever walking in on me when engaging in sexual activity. I've had a relationship with my next ...
23
votes
14answers
14k views

Do parents of teens need to lock their liquor cabinet?

I had this debate with some friends who have older children. We keep our liquor in the cupboard above the fridge. When they get a bit older (still just 8 and 10) and could potentially be tempted ...
2
votes
1answer
230 views

How to talk to my 13 yearold son about innapropriate commnets

Recently an issue has arisen with my 13 year old son and a girl he was "dating". While they were dating, I was one of those parents that always went through his phone and read messages. I was ...
2
votes
1answer
143 views

Is it possible to control iPad message language without my 10 year old daughter hating me?

A few weeks ago I found my 10yo daughter using inappropriate language on her iPad. As it was the first time I caught her swearing, and the message was more in her own defense of another's bullying so ...
3
votes
0answers
265 views

I'm 11 Years old, scared of my parents and I'm considering running away [closed]

I'm 11 years old, I live with my father, my mother and my 2 cats. When I was little life was great. We had so much fun together, me and my parents, but about 2 years ago things took a turn for the ...
12
votes
5answers
7k views

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. I ...
3
votes
2answers
1k views

How to help an 8 year old with short attention span and obsessive character?

I need some advice on how to motivate my 8 year old daughter to pay attention more at school and achieve higher grades. She seems to have a short attention span and seems more interested in break ...
2
votes
2answers
502 views

How to deal with a preteen's sudden unhealthy obsession?

Say a preteen girl is going through an unhealthy obsession. I know many people go through a phase of extreme obsession with something at some point, whether it's with a celebrity, a school crush, a ...
28
votes
9answers
16k views

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the Cinderella fairy tale. Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions. ...
1
vote
1answer
206 views

What to do if your threaten be your older sister! [closed]

So I was in my home doing nothing but making some updates to my wifi network when my sister came and something happened between my sister,mother and I my sister 17 year old and me 13 year old went out ...
27
votes
11answers
8k views

Appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife (male, age 11, UK based)

My son watched the Megafactories documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. He is 11 and we are in the UK regulatory sphere. He proposes to use the knife ...
4
votes
4answers
206 views

Do I move my son to a new school?

I am the single dad of a wonderful son. We have recently moved to a new house only a few miles away from where we previously lived, but it is in another school zone. So I have been debating moving him ...
0
votes
1answer
118 views

My friend opened up to me about depression [closed]

So I'm 13 years old and in 7th grade. I have this friend that I met this year. She's been a really good friend to me but I wouldn't describe her a best friend. There has recently been some drama over ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

Should I allow my child to participate in dangerous sports?

When should a child be allowed to take part in "dangerous" sports or activities? I'm thinking of letting my son try motocross when he's "old enough" - but when is that, when is a child old enough to ...
4
votes
5answers
408 views

Should a precocious child be prevented from devoting too much time to their primary interest?

I know a couple of children in their early or pre-teen years who have already accomplished more than many adults accomplish in their entire careers. These accomplishments seem to be a combination of ...
20
votes
4answers
5k views

How do you respond when a child catches his parents having sex?

I ask this Question on behalf of my neighbor. Their 12 year old son saw his parents having sex. As there is only one room in their home we can't say its the parents' mistake... but now the question ...
8
votes
1answer
220 views

What can I do to increase the chance that my children will talk to me when disturbed?

Background My older children have mobile devices, and while they agree to allow us access to them and installation of software to permit us to review how they use the device with them, they also work ...
20
votes
10answers
6k views

What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to enjoy productive activities?

I have a 12 year old son who if completely left up to his own devices, will spend almost all of his free time doing one of two things, playing casual computer games, and watching TV. I would like to ...
4
votes
1answer
542 views

I can't motivate my 13 year old twins to get school work turned in

We have tried grounding them, taking all their privledges away, we have tried reward systems and nothing works. They have started lying about getting the work done and turned in when they know we ...
6
votes
5answers
1k views

My 11 year old Granddaughter told her Father today shes a lesbian

My Granddaughter told her Dr. and Father she is a lesbian, and asked to talk to a counselor. I'm wondering at this age, do they really know for sure or because they hang with girls who think they are, ...
1
vote
2answers
133 views

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids to participate on social online networks?

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids (8-11) to participate on social online networks (age appropriate ones, not Facebook)? Just to be clear, I mean participation with the ...
3
votes
1answer
435 views

12 y/o daughter gives one-word answers to every question

My 12 y/o daughter used to be very open. A great communicator. Very warm and gregarious. A few months ago (right around the time her body started changing) she gradually started changing her pattern. ...
12
votes
8answers
2k views

What if my kids don't want me to speak my native language?

My children are raised multilingual; we live in Austria and they learn all their German from my wife and from the world around us. I'm Danish and I want my kids to know that language too, so since ...
3
votes
1answer
132 views

11-year-old with sleeping problems

My 11-year-old son has trouble sleeping alone, because of what he calls "nightmares". I don't think they are sleeping nightmares, but rather overactive imagination causing frightening thoughts while ...
0
votes
2answers
635 views

What is an effective dating policy for a 12-year-old boy? [closed]

This is similar but not identical to When is it safe to start letting our children go into relationships? My 12-year-old son is precocious in terms of height and puberty, but emotionally he is out of ...
5
votes
2answers
239 views

How best to take advantage of a child's extended vacation

This is a little more complicated than it might seem, so I'll give some back-story. We have 2 kids: The oldest, 11, was born to us during my first year of college, and I was only intermittently ...
2
votes
2answers
235 views

Dealing with an arrogant child

My sister is about 11 years old. She listens to everyone around her except her family. She believes that we don't care about her. Since my family was extremely busy with jobs, we did not focus on her ...
6
votes
3answers
672 views

8 year old punishes himself for bad behaviour

My 8 year old step-son is still rather sensitive for his age, and sometimes takes being disciplined very hard. When he genuinely feels bad about something he's done wrong and we tell him off, he will ...
10
votes
4answers
49k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
2
votes
3answers
1k views

10 year old refuses to go to bed

Our 10 year old stepdaughter has trouble going to bed at night. She refuses to go to bed, and fights us very hard, to the point where our only hope of her going to bed is to physically pick her up and ...
4
votes
2answers
170 views

How to mediate between my spouse and stepchild and help our family develop a healthier relationship?

I have been with my wife for about six years. She has a daughter, currently age 11, from her first marriage who has lived with us during almost all of that time (sometimes stays with her father, but ...
1
vote
2answers
207 views

How to provide the most support to children as an 'uncle' with only monthly visits

As a side effect of some volunteering I do, I find myself playing something of an 'uncle' like relationship for some of the children of women I've volunteering with. I love children and am more then ...
19
votes
12answers
1k views

Email and social media for pre-teens

My daughter is 11 and I discovered that she had a Facebook account and a personal email account. These were two things my wife and I had told her she wasn't allowed to have. I felt she was still too ...
2
votes
4answers
5k views

11 year old stubborn boy

My 11 year son is an intelligent and extrovert boy . He does not want to study and take care of his belongings. I have to continuously tell him to do his routine work like bathing , brushing teeth ...
7
votes
4answers
2k views

How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?

My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his ...
9
votes
7answers
2k views

How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?

My eleven-year-old daughter who has been in dance classes since she was four. She loves ballet, and she loves to perform. However, she does not care for the stretching and practicing that are part ...
3
votes
3answers
193 views

Adjusting to boarding school

We have sent our 12 year old daughter to a boarding school. How can i help her not to miss her mother to an extent that she is upset the whole day, has bouts of crying? She has been away for a week, ...
0
votes
3answers
202 views

Explain Pre-Teens and Teens the problems of a surveillance state and internet privacy [closed]

I want to present an audience, consisting of mostly teens and pre-teens, the problems of a surveillance state, e.g. if everything is recorded what you are doing. That leads to an internal scissor in ...
6
votes
1answer
161 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
3
votes
2answers
318 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3yr old a 5 year old and an 11 yr old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet, between the 3&5 yr olds, they backchat, break things, have drawn on ...
36
votes
20answers
4k views

How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?

How could I help a smart preteen child (pre-teen) learn programming? He does well in school, and he has skipped 2 grades and is an introverted stereotypical nerd. He is very interested in web ...