Questions for those who are not yet in the teenage years and are beyond the first few years of schooling.

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23
votes
8answers
15k views

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the Cinderella fairy tale. Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions. ...
6
votes
4answers
197 views

How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?

My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his ...
8
votes
12answers
3k views

How can I get my 12-year old physically active or into sports when he's never been?

My son is 12-years old, and he has never been into traditional competitive sports. I'm fine with this - not all kids are. He played baseball for a short period when he was 8, but he didn't really ...
9
votes
7answers
1k views

How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?

My eleven-year-old daughter who has been in dance classes since she was four. She loves ballet, and she loves to perform. However, she does not care for the stretching and practicing that are part ...
3
votes
3answers
102 views

Adjusting to boarding school

We have sent our 12 year old daughter to a boarding school. How can i help her not to miss her mother to an extent that she is upset the whole day, has bouts of crying? She has been away for a week, ...
0
votes
3answers
142 views

Explain Pre-Teens and Teens the problems of a surveillance state and internet privacy [closed]

I want to present an audience, consisting of mostly teens and pre-teens, the problems of a surveillance state, e.g. if everything is recorded what you are doing. That leads to an internal scissor in ...
25
votes
17answers
15k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
15
votes
8answers
10k views

How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?

I have an 11 y/o son who is showing a tendency towards becoming gay. People have seen him walking like a girl but I haven't. I'm thinking that they are just judgmental. On his computer games he ...
10
votes
4answers
27k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
5
votes
3answers
199 views

Should a precocious child be prevented from devoting too much time to their primary interest?

I know a couple of children in their early or pre-teen years who have already accomplished more than many adults accomplish in their entire careers. These accomplishments seem to be a combination of ...
6
votes
1answer
104 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
3
votes
3answers
267 views

Should I allow my child to participate in dangerous sports?

When should a child be allowed to take part in "dangerous" sports or activities? I'm thinking of letting my son try motocross when he's "old enough" - but when is that (when is a child old enough to ...
2
votes
2answers
222 views

How to help an 8 year old with short attention span and obsessive character?

I need some advice on how to motivate my 8 year old daughter to pay attention more at school and achieve higher grades. She seems to have a short attention span and seems more interested in break ...
3
votes
2answers
177 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3yr old a 5 year old and an 11 yr old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet, between the 3&5 yr olds, they backchat, break things, have drawn on ...
33
votes
21answers
4k views

How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?

How could I help a smart preteen child (pre-teen) learn programming? He does well in school, and he has skipped 2 grades and is an introverted stereotypical nerd. He is very interested in web ...
11
votes
3answers
2k views

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. I ...
46
votes
15answers
5k views

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

My child just turned 14 years old, and one of his hobbies is programming. He knows JavaScript, HTML, CSS, jQuery, Ruby, Python, some Java, and a bit of C++, Bash, and PHP. He also uses Git, Vim, and ...
5
votes
2answers
804 views

Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?

My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging ...
11
votes
8answers
1k views

What if my kids don't want me to speak my native language?

My children are raised multilingual; we live in Austria and they learn all their German from my wife and from the world around us. I'm Danish and I want my kids to know that language too, so since ...
8
votes
4answers
302 views

Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance

My daughter is currently 10. I have always tried to encourage her to not be overly concerned with other people's opinion of her, and I think that this has largely succeeded. Like any kid, she gets ...
6
votes
2answers
596 views

How to deal with my 12 year old son's behaviour?

My son believes I don't do anything for him - I do everything I possibly can & yes there are things I forget to do (as I'm only human). He is sly & causes arguements between his father & ...
4
votes
5answers
724 views

Abusive behavior of 12 years old son

My 12 years old son hits, pushes, and teases his 7 years old sister. When my daughter was born he would constantly disturb me while feeding her and helping her. I tried to involve him in taking care ...
9
votes
4answers
2k views

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! Is this normal?

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! He plays hockey, which he loves. I stopped letting him play for his teams when his report card came back with bad ...
8
votes
3answers
694 views

Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?

Some background. I have always been extremely careful about taking precautions to prevent my children from ever walking in on me when engaging in sexual activity. I've had a relationship with my next ...
9
votes
3answers
249 views

How can I assuage my pre-teen's fear of flying

My parents are moving to Florida soon and have asked for my help moving their car. I thought it would be nice to take my pre-teen daughter (almost 12 yo) with me on the ride down for a short visit. ...
2
votes
1answer
332 views

My 13 year old son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes

I have two sons. My older son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes. This friend is a good kid. My older son is upset that his friend is playing with his younger ...
4
votes
3answers
431 views

How can I explain “adult beverages” to my preteen?

We don't tend to drink much alcohol in our household; I occasionally drink a beer in the evening after the children are in bed or when my wife and I have a date night. So my preteen son doesn't have a ...
1
vote
2answers
288 views

Is jogging an appropriate activity for a pre-adolescent child?

This question was motivated by seeing a 6 or 7 year old girl jogging with her mom today. I was in slow moving traffic so I know she ran at least 2.5 miles (the distance between the lights causing said ...
4
votes
3answers
650 views

What should I do about my pre-teen son messaging older girls he's never met?

My 12 year son seems to be growing up way too soon.. He went from playing with his Legos one day to next texting girls the next. He goes back and forth. One day he is in the shower playing with his ...
5
votes
4answers
472 views

How do I get my pre-teen to stop asking to watch a TV show/movie?

Our 11-year-old daughter has become obsessed with a TV series that we won't let her watch. We have explained the reasoning as calmly as we could (without giving her all the details of course), and are ...
6
votes
4answers
7k views

At what age do teenagers begin to masturbate?

This is a delicate question. It is not a subject that I can ask my children about. At what age can a parent expect this activity to start?
3
votes
1answer
406 views

I can't motivate my 13 year old twins to get school work turned in

We have tried grounding them, taking all their privledges away, we have tried reward systems and nothing works. They have started lying about getting the work done and turned in when they know we ...
4
votes
2answers
152 views

A child accustomed to sleeping with the tv on

The tv is outside my 12 year old daughter's bedroom. She likes me to sit up until she falls asleep (which is not difficult). I pull the door to and we agree on a maximum volume that makes her feel ...
1
vote
1answer
80 views

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids to participate on social online networks?

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids (8-11) to participate on social online networks (age appropriate ones, not Facebook)? Just to be clear, I mean participation with the ...
1
vote
1answer
1k views

My daughter is having sex with guys 10 years older than her; what do I do?

Hey everyone I have a huge issue I need to talk about.. My 12 year old daughter has been going around having sex with MULTIPLE guys 8 to 10 years older than her and has gotten a STD. I'm worried she ...
20
votes
14answers
9k views

Do parents of teens need a locked liquor cabinet?

I had this debate with some friends who have older children. We keep our liquor in the cupboard above the fridge. When they get a bit older (still just 8 and 10) and could potentially be tempted ...
18
votes
3answers
3k views

How do you respond when a child catches his parents having sex?

I ask this Question on behalf of my neighbor. Their 12 year old son saw his parents having sex. As there is only one room in their home we can't say its the parents' mistake... but now the question ...
18
votes
12answers
1k views

Email and social media for pre-teens

My daughter is 11 and I discovered that she had a Facebook account and a personal email account. These were two things my wife and I had told her she wasn't allowed to have. I felt she was still too ...
35
votes
6answers
4k views

The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?

The school has assigned The Hunger Games as a literature reading assignment for my 11 year old. I read the books and enjoyed the ride, but feel the brutality is too much for this age group, in this ...
5
votes
1answer
260 views

Daddy daughter travel trip?

I have an idea that may or may not be a good one, so I am looking for a little advice. I have a daughter and son, 5 and 1 respectively. I have this pipe dream to save some money to take them on a ...
8
votes
1answer
205 views

Does a group of girls naturally split at the age of 10-11?

Our oldest daughter is now in fourth grade. Since school start, she has been part of a group of four girls, which have spent a lot of time together and having a lot of fun. Either all four, three of ...
9
votes
4answers
1k views

What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?

As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

What are appropriate sexual boundaries between siblings?

I have three children, my younger two are a 13 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. They are both maturing and going through puberty. Gone are the days of my little son doing little naked dances, ...
9
votes
2answers
447 views

How much of my prior drug use should I disclose to my tween daughter?

My daughter started middle school this year (she is 11) and tonight at dinner she told me that during an assembly some teachers had shared tragic stories about friends and family members who abused ...
1
vote
1answer
1k views

11 year old stubborn boy

My 11 year son is an intelligent and extrovert boy . He does not want to study and take care of his belongings. I have to continuously tell him to do his routine work like bathing , brushing teeth ...
1
vote
3answers
244 views

How can allowing children to participate on Halloween be helpful in reinforcing good habits?

I recently wrote this: "Halloween: the one day where we encourage children to accept candy from strangers, go to strangers' homes, and vandalize property and terrorize people if they don't get ...
0
votes
1answer
87 views

Integrating original family fun games with learning [closed]

Encouraging pre-teens and more so teens to be involved and interested in family activities and educational learning can be a challenge. Spending time with friends, online activities, combined with ...
9
votes
3answers
197 views

Bedtime vs amount of sleep?

I am a single dad who has custody of my 11 year old daughter during the school year. During the summer, however, she stays with her mother in another town. I have become concerned about the lack of ...
8
votes
3answers
343 views

How to kick a twelve year old's shopping “addiction”?

My family has never had much money, so I'm quite concerned about my sister's shopping habits. I assumed it was quite average behavior for a young girl to plead for money for the school book fair, the ...
8
votes
6answers
722 views

How to get my sister to use correct spelling while typing on computer?

I am sure that I am treading on eggshells here as this is a matter of opinion, but please do read on. I absolutely resent when people use incorrect spelling for 90% of their words, on purpose. My ...