Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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3
votes
2answers
884 views

How to help an 8 year old with short attention span and obsessive character?

I need some advice on how to motivate my 8 year old daughter to pay attention more at school and achieve higher grades. She seems to have a short attention span and seems more interested in break ...
32
votes
18answers
23k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
15
votes
8answers
15k views

How to handle a 11y/o son who act like a girl?

I have an 11 y/o son who is showing a tendency towards becoming gay. People have seen him walking like a girl but I haven't. I'm thinking that they are just judgmental. On his computer games he ...
2
votes
2answers
185 views

How to deal with a preteen's sudden unhealthy obsession?

Say a preteen girl is going through an unhealthy obsession. I know many people go through a phase of extreme obsession with something at some point, whether it's with a celebrity, a school crush, a ...
27
votes
9answers
16k views

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the Cinderella fairy tale. Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions. ...
1
vote
1answer
88 views

What to do if your threaten be your older sister! [closed]

So I was in my home doing nothing but making some updates to my wifi network when my sister came and something happened between my sister,mother and I my sister 17 year old and me 13 year old went out ...
27
votes
11answers
8k views

Appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife (male, age 11, UK based)

My son watched the Megafactories documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. He is 11 and we are in the UK regulatory sphere. He proposes to use the knife ...
4
votes
4answers
157 views

Do I move my son to a new school?

I am the single dad of a wonderful son. We have recently moved to a new house only a few miles away from where we previously lived, but it is in another school zone. So I have been debating moving him ...
0
votes
1answer
105 views

My friend opened up to me about depression [closed]

So I'm 13 years old and in 7th grade. I have this friend that I met this year. She's been a really good friend to me but I wouldn't describe her a best friend. There has recently been some drama over ...
8
votes
4answers
949 views

Should I allow my child to participate in dangerous sports?

When should a child be allowed to take part in "dangerous" sports or activities? I'm thinking of letting my son try motocross when he's "old enough" - but when is that, when is a child old enough to ...
5
votes
2answers
874 views

CISV: should I trust?

CISV is a seasoned organization which stages (among other activities) villages: 28 days-long exchanges for children aged 10 coming from all the world. I am considering letting my child take part in ...
4
votes
5answers
400 views

Should a precocious child be prevented from devoting too much time to their primary interest?

I know a couple of children in their early or pre-teen years who have already accomplished more than many adults accomplish in their entire careers. These accomplishments seem to be a combination of ...
20
votes
4answers
4k views

How do you respond when a child catches his parents having sex?

I ask this Question on behalf of my neighbor. Their 12 year old son saw his parents having sex. As there is only one room in their home we can't say its the parents' mistake... but now the question ...
8
votes
1answer
209 views

What can I do to increase the chance that my children will talk to me when disturbed?

Background My older children have mobile devices, and while they agree to allow us access to them and installation of software to permit us to review how they use the device with them, they also work ...
20
votes
10answers
5k views

What can I do to encourage my 12 year old son to enjoy productive activities?

I have a 12 year old son who if completely left up to his own devices, will spend almost all of his free time doing one of two things, playing casual computer games, and watching TV. I would like to ...
8
votes
3answers
3k views

Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?

My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging ...
3
votes
1answer
511 views

I can't motivate my 13 year old twins to get school work turned in

We have tried grounding them, taking all their privledges away, we have tried reward systems and nothing works. They have started lying about getting the work done and turned in when they know we ...
6
votes
5answers
914 views

My 11 year old Granddaughter told her Father today shes a lesbian

My Granddaughter told her Dr. and Father she is a lesbian, and asked to talk to a counselor. I'm wondering at this age, do they really know for sure or because they hang with girls who think they are, ...
1
vote
2answers
124 views

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids to participate on social online networks?

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids (8-11) to participate on social online networks (age appropriate ones, not Facebook)? Just to be clear, I mean participation with the ...
3
votes
1answer
327 views

12 y/o daughter gives one-word answers to every question

My 12 y/o daughter used to be very open. A great communicator. Very warm and gregarious. A few months ago (right around the time her body started changing) she gradually started changing her pattern. ...
12
votes
8answers
2k views

What if my kids don't want me to speak my native language?

My children are raised multilingual; we live in Austria and they learn all their German from my wife and from the world around us. I'm Danish and I want my kids to know that language too, so since ...
3
votes
1answer
121 views

11-year-old with sleeping problems

My 11-year-old son has trouble sleeping alone, because of what he calls "nightmares". I don't think they are sleeping nightmares, but rather overactive imagination causing frightening thoughts while ...
-1
votes
2answers
471 views

What is an effective dating policy for a 12-year-old boy? [closed]

This is similar but not identical to When is it safe to start letting our children go into relationships? My 12-year-old son is precocious in terms of height and puberty, but emotionally he is out of ...
5
votes
2answers
226 views

How best to take advantage of a child's extended vacation

This is a little more complicated than it might seem, so I'll give some back-story. We have 2 kids: The oldest, 11, was born to us during my first year of college, and I was only intermittently ...
2
votes
2answers
216 views

Dealing with an arrogant child

My sister is about 11 years old. She listens to everyone around her except her family. She believes that we don't care about her. Since my family was extremely busy with jobs, we did not focus on her ...
6
votes
3answers
571 views

8 year old punishes himself for bad behaviour

My 8 year old step-son is still rather sensitive for his age, and sometimes takes being disciplined very hard. When he genuinely feels bad about something he's done wrong and we tell him off, he will ...
10
votes
4answers
42k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
2
votes
3answers
661 views

10 year old refuses to go to bed

Our 10 year old stepdaughter has trouble going to bed at night. She refuses to go to bed, and fights us very hard, to the point where our only hope of her going to bed is to physically pick her up and ...
4
votes
2answers
145 views

How to mediate between my spouse and stepchild and help our family develop a healthier relationship?

I have been with my wife for about six years. She has a daughter, currently age 11, from her first marriage who has lived with us during almost all of that time (sometimes stays with her father, but ...
1
vote
2answers
205 views

How to provide the most support to children as an 'uncle' with only monthly visits

As a side effect of some volunteering I do, I find myself playing something of an 'uncle' like relationship for some of the children of women I've volunteering with. I love children and am more then ...
19
votes
12answers
1k views

Email and social media for pre-teens

My daughter is 11 and I discovered that she had a Facebook account and a personal email account. These were two things my wife and I had told her she wasn't allowed to have. I felt she was still too ...
2
votes
4answers
4k views

11 year old stubborn boy

My 11 year son is an intelligent and extrovert boy . He does not want to study and take care of his belongings. I have to continuously tell him to do his routine work like bathing , brushing teeth ...
11
votes
4answers
5k views

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. I ...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?

My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his ...
8
votes
12answers
7k views

How can I get my 12-year old physically active or into sports when he's never been?

My son is 12-years old, and he has never been into traditional competitive sports. I'm fine with this - not all kids are. He played baseball for a short period when he was 8, but he didn't really ...
9
votes
7answers
2k views

How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?

My eleven-year-old daughter who has been in dance classes since she was four. She loves ballet, and she loves to perform. However, she does not care for the stretching and practicing that are part ...
3
votes
3answers
160 views

Adjusting to boarding school

We have sent our 12 year old daughter to a boarding school. How can i help her not to miss her mother to an extent that she is upset the whole day, has bouts of crying? She has been away for a week, ...
0
votes
3answers
196 views

Explain Pre-Teens and Teens the problems of a surveillance state and internet privacy [closed]

I want to present an audience, consisting of mostly teens and pre-teens, the problems of a surveillance state, e.g. if everything is recorded what you are doing. That leads to an internal scissor in ...
6
votes
1answer
147 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
3
votes
2answers
272 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3yr old a 5 year old and an 11 yr old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet, between the 3&5 yr olds, they backchat, break things, have drawn on ...
35
votes
20answers
4k views

How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?

How could I help a smart preteen child (pre-teen) learn programming? He does well in school, and he has skipped 2 grades and is an introverted stereotypical nerd. He is very interested in web ...
49
votes
15answers
6k views

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

My child just turned 14 years old, and one of his hobbies is programming. He knows JavaScript, HTML, CSS, jQuery, Ruby, Python, some Java, and a bit of C++, Bash, and PHP. He also uses Git, Vim, and ...
8
votes
4answers
619 views

Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance

My daughter is currently 10. I have always tried to encourage her to not be overly concerned with other people's opinion of her, and I think that this has largely succeeded. Like any kid, she gets ...
6
votes
2answers
761 views

How to deal with my 12 year old son's behaviour?

My son believes I don't do anything for him - I do everything I possibly can & yes there are things I forget to do (as I'm only human). He is sly & causes arguements between his father & ...
5
votes
5answers
1k views

Abusive behavior of 12 years old son

My 12 years old son hits, pushes, and teases his 7 years old sister. When my daughter was born he would constantly disturb me while feeding her and helping her. I tried to involve him in taking care ...
10
votes
4answers
4k views

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! Is this normal?

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! He plays hockey, which he loves. I stopped letting him play for his teams when his report card came back with bad ...
8
votes
3answers
935 views

Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?

Some background. I have always been extremely careful about taking precautions to prevent my children from ever walking in on me when engaging in sexual activity. I've had a relationship with my next ...
9
votes
3answers
400 views

How can I assuage my pre-teen's fear of flying

My parents are moving to Florida soon and have asked for my help moving their car. I thought it would be nice to take my pre-teen daughter (almost 12 yo) with me on the ride down for a short visit. ...
2
votes
1answer
379 views

My 13 year old son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes

I have two sons. My older son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes. This friend is a good kid. My older son is upset that his friend is playing with his younger ...
5
votes
3answers
456 views

How can I explain “adult beverages” to my preteen?

We don't tend to drink much alcohol in our household; I occasionally drink a beer in the evening after the children are in bed or when my wife and I have a date night. So my preteen son doesn't have a ...