Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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48
votes
15answers
7k views

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

My child just turned 14 years old, and one of his hobbies is programming. He knows JavaScript, HTML, CSS, jQuery, Ruby, Python, some Java, and a bit of C++, Bash, and PHP. He also uses Git, Vim, and ...
8
votes
4answers
799 views

Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance

My daughter is currently 10. I have always tried to encourage her to not be overly concerned with other people's opinion of her, and I think that this has largely succeeded. Like any kid, she gets ...
6
votes
2answers
812 views

How to deal with my 12 year old son's behaviour?

My son believes I don't do anything for him - I do everything I possibly can & yes there are things I forget to do (as I'm only human). He is sly & causes arguements between his father & ...
5
votes
5answers
2k views

Abusive behavior of 12 years old son

My 12 years old son hits, pushes, and teases his 7 years old sister. When my daughter was born he would constantly disturb me while feeding her and helping her. I tried to involve him in taking care ...
10
votes
4answers
4k views

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! Is this normal?

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! He plays hockey, which he loves. I stopped letting him play for his teams when his report card came back with bad ...
9
votes
3answers
467 views

How can I assuage my pre-teen's fear of flying

My parents are moving to Florida soon and have asked for my help moving their car. I thought it would be nice to take my pre-teen daughter (almost 12 yo) with me on the ride down for a short visit. ...
2
votes
1answer
388 views

My 13 year old son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes

I have two sons. My older son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes. This friend is a good kid. My older son is upset that his friend is playing with his younger ...
5
votes
3answers
458 views

How can I explain “adult beverages” to my preteen?

We don't tend to drink much alcohol in our household; I occasionally drink a beer in the evening after the children are in bed or when my wife and I have a date night. So my preteen son doesn't have a ...
1
vote
2answers
886 views

Is jogging an appropriate activity for a pre-adolescent child?

This question was motivated by seeing a 6 or 7 year old girl jogging with her mom today. I was in slow moving traffic so I know she ran at least 2.5 miles (the distance between the lights causing said ...
5
votes
3answers
918 views

What should I do about my pre-teen son messaging older girls he's never met?

My 12 year son seems to be growing up way too soon.. He went from playing with his Legos one day to next texting girls the next. He goes back and forth. One day he is in the shower playing with his ...
5
votes
4answers
579 views

How do I get my pre-teen to stop asking to watch a TV show/movie?

Our 11-year-old daughter has become obsessed with a TV series that we won't let her watch. We have explained the reasoning as calmly as we could (without giving her all the details of course), and are ...
6
votes
3answers
13k views

At what age do teenagers begin to masturbate?

This is a delicate question. It is not a subject that I can ask my children about. At what age can a parent expect this activity to start?
4
votes
2answers
175 views

A child accustomed to sleeping with the tv on

The tv is outside my 12 year old daughter's bedroom. She likes me to sit up until she falls asleep (which is not difficult). I pull the door to and we agree on a maximum volume that makes her feel ...
3
votes
1answer
2k views

My daughter is having sex with guys 10 years older than her; what do I do?

Hey everyone I have a huge issue I need to talk about.. My 12 year old daughter has been going around having sex with MULTIPLE guys 8 to 10 years older than her and has gotten a STD. I'm worried she ...
35
votes
6answers
5k views

The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?

The school has assigned The Hunger Games as a literature reading assignment for my 11 year old. I read the books and enjoyed the ride, but feel the brutality is too much for this age group, in this ...
5
votes
1answer
318 views

Daddy daughter travel trip?

I have an idea that may or may not be a good one, so I am looking for a little advice. I have a daughter and son, 5 and 1 respectively. I have this pipe dream to save some money to take them on a ...
9
votes
1answer
270 views

Does a group of girls naturally split at the age of 10-11?

Our oldest daughter is now in fourth grade. Since school start, she has been part of a group of four girls, which have spent a lot of time together and having a lot of fun. Either all four, three of ...
9
votes
4answers
1k views

What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?

As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

What are appropriate sexual boundaries between siblings?

I have three children, my younger two are a 13 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. They are both maturing and going through puberty. Gone are the days of my little son doing little naked dances, ...
9
votes
2answers
614 views

How much of my prior drug use should I disclose to my tween daughter?

My daughter started middle school this year (she is 11) and tonight at dinner she told me that during an assembly some teachers had shared tragic stories about friends and family members who abused ...
1
vote
3answers
330 views

How can allowing children to participate on Halloween be helpful in reinforcing good habits?

I recently wrote this: "Halloween: the one day where we encourage children to accept candy from strangers, go to strangers' homes, and vandalize property and terrorize people if they don't get ...
0
votes
1answer
93 views

Integrating original family fun games with learning [closed]

Encouraging pre-teens and more so teens to be involved and interested in family activities and educational learning can be a challenge. Spending time with friends, online activities, combined with ...
9
votes
3answers
254 views

Bedtime vs amount of sleep?

I am a single dad who has custody of my 11 year old daughter during the school year. During the summer, however, she stays with her mother in another town. I have become concerned about the lack of ...
8
votes
3answers
409 views

How to kick a twelve year old's shopping “addiction”?

My family has never had much money, so I'm quite concerned about my sister's shopping habits. I assumed it was quite average behavior for a young girl to plead for money for the school book fair, the ...
8
votes
6answers
880 views

How to get my sister to use correct spelling while typing on computer?

I am sure that I am treading on eggshells here as this is a matter of opinion, but please do read on. I absolutely resent when people use incorrect spelling for 90% of their words, on purpose. My ...
2
votes
2answers
470 views

How to help kids remember to keep track of their own stuff and keep it together when not at home

My six year old daughter is just transitioning into attending classes and activities more independently. As this is happening, she may get dropped off by her dad and picked up by me (and vice versa). ...
13
votes
4answers
7k views

What consequences are appropriate for pre-teens?

There comes a time when time-outs don't cut it anymore. Normally, when my kids exercise poor judgement, I let them experience natural consequences. However, sometimes their actions go against what we ...
6
votes
3answers
576 views

How can I avoid ugly arguments with my wife?

I was recently playing a board game with my 12 year-old son and wife of 18 years. We reached a point in the game where it was my turn to play while my wife could win the game with her next move. ...
4
votes
2answers
940 views

How do you help an older sibling understand an intersex younger sibling?

One of my friends has two children. One is male (14 years old) & another one is has an intersex condition (10 years old and has male and female genitalia). Up until last month the male child ...
13
votes
4answers
3k views

How young is too young to start wearing makeup?

A couple of us in the office today were talking about young girls and makeup. One mentioned that his daughter is thirteen and already wearing makeup, another mentioned her niece wears makeup as well ...
0
votes
1answer
403 views

What are some good multi-player collaborative games for a 9-12 year old girl? [closed]

I'm considering letting my girls play video games a bit more than they do now. I'm looking for some good game suggestions for them. Some skills they would benefit practicing are: Perseverance ...
1
vote
3answers
3k views

Is there any problem with same-sex siblings sharing a bedroom when there is an 8 year age gap?

I am a 20 year old female living at home with my mother, her boyfriend and my younger sister who is 12 years old. We live in a 3 bed council house. My mother has now discovered that she is pregnant ...
5
votes
4answers
3k views

Is it reasonable to put limits on a pre-teen playing video games?

Posted on behalf of a friend of mine: What are appropriate rules for how much time kids actually get to play video games (such as x-box 360, PlayStation 3, or on the PC)? Apparently we are the ONLY ...
9
votes
4answers
396 views

How do you control the quantity of sweets and junk food a pre-teen eats?

For a pre-adolescent child, what strategies can I use to control the quantity of sweets and junk food that make it into his diet?
5
votes
2answers
759 views

Should my 3 daughters share 2 rooms?

My daughter is almost 20 years old and goes to school away from home, so she has her room over 2 reading breaks, thanksgiving, Christmas break, and summer holidays. I brought up the idea of sharing a ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

How to go about regaining the trust of my child?

Having experienced parental alienation syndrome, my child is very reticent and unresponsive to my attempts in rebuilding our relationship. The condition is very much like sulking, but with an ...
6
votes
2answers
483 views

What would be a good kit for cardboard construction projects for a pre-teen?

I really enjoyed making things out of cardboard as a kid and my daughter (10) loves physical construction as well. Some of the things I'd like to provide her tools for : Easily cutting cardboard ...