Age specific questions from about 11 years to about 13 years. Also known as "tweens". Younger: middle-childhood. Older: teen.

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2
votes
2answers
180 views

How to deal with a preteen's sudden unhealthy obsession?

Say a preteen girl is going through an unhealthy obsession. I know many people go through a phase of extreme obsession with something at some point, whether it's with a celebrity, a school crush, a ...
1
vote
1answer
85 views

What to do if your threaten be your older sister! [closed]

So I was in my home doing nothing but making some updates to my wifi network when my sister came and something happened between my sister,mother and I my sister 17 year old and me 13 year old went out ...
4
votes
4answers
157 views

Do I move my son to a new school?

I am the single dad of a wonderful son. We have recently moved to a new house only a few miles away from where we previously lived, but it is in another school zone. So I have been debating moving him ...
0
votes
1answer
104 views

My friend opened up to me about depression [closed]

So I'm 13 years old and in 7th grade. I have this friend that I met this year. She's been a really good friend to me but I wouldn't describe her a best friend. There has recently been some drama over ...
27
votes
11answers
8k views

Appropriate age for a Swiss Army Knife (male, age 11, UK based)

My son watched the Megafactories documentary on the Swiss Army Knife and is enamored with getting one for Christmas. He is 11 and we are in the UK regulatory sphere. He proposes to use the knife ...
5
votes
2answers
871 views

CISV: should I trust?

CISV is a seasoned organization which stages (among other activities) villages: 28 days-long exchanges for children aged 10 coming from all the world. I am considering letting my child take part in ...
8
votes
1answer
208 views

What can I do to increase the chance that my children will talk to me when disturbed?

Background My older children have mobile devices, and while they agree to allow us access to them and installation of software to permit us to review how they use the device with them, they also work ...
3
votes
1answer
326 views

12 y/o daughter gives one-word answers to every question

My 12 y/o daughter used to be very open. A great communicator. Very warm and gregarious. A few months ago (right around the time her body started changing) she gradually started changing her pattern. ...
6
votes
5answers
912 views

My 11 year old Granddaughter told her Father today shes a lesbian

My Granddaughter told her Dr. and Father she is a lesbian, and asked to talk to a counselor. I'm wondering at this age, do they really know for sure or because they hang with girls who think they are, ...
3
votes
1answer
120 views

11-year-old with sleeping problems

My 11-year-old son has trouble sleeping alone, because of what he calls "nightmares". I don't think they are sleeping nightmares, but rather overactive imagination causing frightening thoughts while ...
-1
votes
2answers
469 views

What is an effective dating policy for a 12-year-old boy? [closed]

This is similar but not identical to When is it safe to start letting our children go into relationships? My 12-year-old son is precocious in terms of height and puberty, but emotionally he is out of ...
2
votes
2answers
216 views

Dealing with an arrogant child

My sister is about 11 years old. She listens to everyone around her except her family. She believes that we don't care about her. Since my family was extremely busy with jobs, we did not focus on her ...
5
votes
2answers
226 views

How best to take advantage of a child's extended vacation

This is a little more complicated than it might seem, so I'll give some back-story. We have 2 kids: The oldest, 11, was born to us during my first year of college, and I was only intermittently ...
2
votes
3answers
650 views

10 year old refuses to go to bed

Our 10 year old stepdaughter has trouble going to bed at night. She refuses to go to bed, and fights us very hard, to the point where our only hope of her going to bed is to physically pick her up and ...
6
votes
3answers
566 views

8 year old punishes himself for bad behaviour

My 8 year old step-son is still rather sensitive for his age, and sometimes takes being disciplined very hard. When he genuinely feels bad about something he's done wrong and we tell him off, he will ...
4
votes
2answers
143 views

How to mediate between my spouse and stepchild and help our family develop a healthier relationship?

I have been with my wife for about six years. She has a daughter, currently age 11, from her first marriage who has lived with us during almost all of that time (sometimes stays with her father, but ...
1
vote
2answers
205 views

How to provide the most support to children as an 'uncle' with only monthly visits

As a side effect of some volunteering I do, I find myself playing something of an 'uncle' like relationship for some of the children of women I've volunteering with. I love children and am more then ...
27
votes
9answers
16k views

Should I tell my 10-year old son, how screwed-up Cinderella is?

My 10-year old boy recently told me that he likes the Cinderella fairy tale. Some fairy tales including this one, have several layers of meaning and sometimes they guide people's life decisions. ...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

How to make my 11-year-old boy more responsible?

My 11-year-old boy seems irresponsible. I understand that he is still young, but I would like to have some advice on how I need to deal with him when he makes a mistake. For example, he damaged his ...
0
votes
3answers
196 views

Explain Pre-Teens and Teens the problems of a surveillance state and internet privacy [closed]

I want to present an audience, consisting of mostly teens and pre-teens, the problems of a surveillance state, e.g. if everything is recorded what you are doing. That leads to an internal scissor in ...
9
votes
7answers
2k views

How do I convince my eleven-year-old to practice her dancing?

My eleven-year-old daughter who has been in dance classes since she was four. She loves ballet, and she loves to perform. However, she does not care for the stretching and practicing that are part ...
3
votes
3answers
160 views

Adjusting to boarding school

We have sent our 12 year old daughter to a boarding school. How can i help her not to miss her mother to an extent that she is upset the whole day, has bouts of crying? She has been away for a week, ...
4
votes
5answers
400 views

Should a precocious child be prevented from devoting too much time to their primary interest?

I know a couple of children in their early or pre-teen years who have already accomplished more than many adults accomplish in their entire careers. These accomplishments seem to be a combination of ...
6
votes
1answer
147 views

How should screen time be treated to balance the pro of education resources on the internet and con of decreased involvement in other activities?

Screen time is a tricky subject. Around middle school age there are very good uses of technology that emerge where can child can develop healthy hobbies fueled by self-motivation (which may later turn ...
8
votes
4answers
943 views

Should I allow my child to participate in dangerous sports?

When should a child be allowed to take part in "dangerous" sports or activities? I'm thinking of letting my son try motocross when he's "old enough" - but when is that, when is a child old enough to ...
3
votes
2answers
272 views

How to deal with extreme misbehavior of younger siblings?

I have a 3yr old a 5 year old and an 11 yr old who have just been the most exceptionally worst behaved children on this planet, between the 3&5 yr olds, they backchat, break things, have drawn on ...
2
votes
2answers
842 views

How to help an 8 year old with short attention span and obsessive character?

I need some advice on how to motivate my 8 year old daughter to pay attention more at school and achieve higher grades. She seems to have a short attention span and seems more interested in break ...
11
votes
4answers
5k views

How to deal with my 12 year old's rebellious behavior?

My son just turned 12 a few months ago, and boy is he a handful! He does not obey anything I say, curses at me, calls me names, throws tantrums, and hesitates to go to school every single day. I ...
49
votes
15answers
6k views

How can I help my child who is advanced in programming to meet others at the same skill level?

My child just turned 14 years old, and one of his hobbies is programming. He knows JavaScript, HTML, CSS, jQuery, Ruby, Python, some Java, and a bit of C++, Bash, and PHP. He also uses Git, Vim, and ...
35
votes
20answers
4k views

How can I help a child stay motivated in learning to program?

How could I help a smart preteen child (pre-teen) learn programming? He does well in school, and he has skipped 2 grades and is an introverted stereotypical nerd. He is very interested in web ...
8
votes
4answers
619 views

Building self-esteem while encouraging a tidy, acceptable appearance

My daughter is currently 10. I have always tried to encourage her to not be overly concerned with other people's opinion of her, and I think that this has largely succeeded. Like any kid, she gets ...
8
votes
3answers
3k views

Encopresis, I'm at my wits end? Does anybody have suggestions?

My 12 year old daughter has been dealing with retentive encopresis since age 6. She avoids going to the toilet at all. This results in soiling and the production of an amazing huge toilet-clogging ...
9
votes
3answers
399 views

How can I assuage my pre-teen's fear of flying

My parents are moving to Florida soon and have asked for my help moving their car. I thought it would be nice to take my pre-teen daughter (almost 12 yo) with me on the ride down for a short visit. ...
2
votes
1answer
376 views

My 13 year old son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes

I have two sons. My older son has a friend whom he brushes off but yet my 11 year old son really likes. This friend is a good kid. My older son is upset that his friend is playing with his younger ...
1
vote
2answers
604 views

Is jogging an appropriate activity for a pre-adolescent child?

This question was motivated by seeing a 6 or 7 year old girl jogging with her mom today. I was in slow moving traffic so I know she ran at least 2.5 miles (the distance between the lights causing said ...
5
votes
3answers
849 views

What should I do about my pre-teen son messaging older girls he's never met?

My 12 year son seems to be growing up way too soon.. He went from playing with his Legos one day to next texting girls the next. He goes back and forth. One day he is in the shower playing with his ...
5
votes
5answers
1k views

Abusive behavior of 12 years old son

My 12 years old son hits, pushes, and teases his 7 years old sister. When my daughter was born he would constantly disturb me while feeding her and helping her. I tried to involve him in taking care ...
5
votes
4answers
547 views

How do I get my pre-teen to stop asking to watch a TV show/movie?

Our 11-year-old daughter has become obsessed with a TV series that we won't let her watch. We have explained the reasoning as calmly as we could (without giving her all the details of course), and are ...
1
vote
2answers
124 views

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids to participate on social online networks?

Is there any research on pros/cons of allowing young kids (8-11) to participate on social online networks (age appropriate ones, not Facebook)? Just to be clear, I mean participation with the ...
6
votes
2answers
761 views

How to deal with my 12 year old son's behaviour?

My son believes I don't do anything for him - I do everything I possibly can & yes there are things I forget to do (as I'm only human). He is sly & causes arguements between his father & ...
3
votes
1answer
2k views

My daughter is having sex with guys 10 years older than her; what do I do?

Hey everyone I have a huge issue I need to talk about.. My 12 year old daughter has been going around having sex with MULTIPLE guys 8 to 10 years older than her and has gotten a STD. I'm worried she ...
32
votes
18answers
23k views

Why does my daughter smile and start to laugh at me when I am noticeably really angry at her?

My daughter is 11 years old and has been diagnosed with high functioning austism along with sensory processing disorder. I am a single father and have raised her alone since she was two years old. We ...
5
votes
3answers
456 views

How can I explain “adult beverages” to my preteen?

We don't tend to drink much alcohol in our household; I occasionally drink a beer in the evening after the children are in bed or when my wife and I have a date night. So my preteen son doesn't have a ...
8
votes
12answers
7k views

How can I get my 12-year old physically active or into sports when he's never been?

My son is 12-years old, and he has never been into traditional competitive sports. I'm fine with this - not all kids are. He played baseball for a short period when he was 8, but he didn't really ...
5
votes
1answer
308 views

Daddy daughter travel trip?

I have an idea that may or may not be a good one, so I am looking for a little advice. I have a daughter and son, 5 and 1 respectively. I have this pipe dream to save some money to take them on a ...
9
votes
1answer
235 views

Does a group of girls naturally split at the age of 10-11?

Our oldest daughter is now in fourth grade. Since school start, she has been part of a group of four girls, which have spent a lot of time together and having a lot of fun. Either all four, three of ...
9
votes
2answers
584 views

How much of my prior drug use should I disclose to my tween daughter?

My daughter started middle school this year (she is 11) and tonight at dinner she told me that during an assembly some teachers had shared tragic stories about friends and family members who abused ...
35
votes
6answers
5k views

The school has assigned reading I feel is inappropriate for my son to read. How do I approach this problem with the school and with my son?

The school has assigned The Hunger Games as a literature reading assignment for my 11 year old. I read the books and enjoyed the ride, but feel the brutality is too much for this age group, in this ...
8
votes
3answers
934 views

Some strategies for maintaining adult relationships separately from children?

Some background. I have always been extremely careful about taking precautions to prevent my children from ever walking in on me when engaging in sexual activity. I've had a relationship with my next ...
6
votes
3answers
12k views

At what age do teenagers begin to masturbate?

This is a delicate question. It is not a subject that I can ask my children about. At what age can a parent expect this activity to start?