How to enforce the rules you set for the child, and consequences when those rules are broken. See the tag [behavior] about why children act the way they do.
61
votes
16answers
4k views
How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?
My son just turned 2, and he started throwing more tantrums on us.
He doesn't eat well or drink enough milk ... and he is becoming more adamant and says "No" more often. If we force him to drink ...
30
votes
10answers
1k views
What are some suggestions for punishing a child?
My daughters are clearly pushing the boundaries lately. They are trying to find out what is possible. I am really looking into ways to setting the boundaries. A friend recently suggested creating a ...
25
votes
9answers
678 views
Reasoning vs “because I say so”
Raising our two-year-old, my wife and I have slightly different views on how to get our child to obey instructions, such as "get in the car seat" and "put on your shirt."
One of us feels that it is ...
23
votes
8answers
25k views
How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?
My 5 year old son receives and fears punishment but repeatedly exhibits the same unacceptable behaviors. He's always been strong-willed, and is usually the kind to view a statement like "Don't do ...
19
votes
8answers
983 views
Why do kids always do things which we tell them NOT to do?
This is the kind of behaviour which I have seen in lot of kids including mine (2 year old).
When I tell him NOT to hold a knife, he will make sure he does it. If I tell him not to spill milk on the ...
19
votes
6answers
688 views
How do you discipline someone else's child?
We have friend who is living with us and he has a 5-year old boy. The child has been disrespectful and distructive. He tore a ceiling fan down, and has been breaking stuff and writing on the walls.
...
19
votes
6answers
1k views
What is the best way to respond if my child is picked on by other children?
What can I do if other children pick on my children? Obviously I can't perform any disciplinary actions. Reprimanding might make my child look like a "mama's boy" and doing nothing might look like a ...
18
votes
3answers
1k views
How do you handle poor behavior by other people's children?
I believe that interacting with a variety of other children at social functions is an important part of childhood development. However, there seem to be a lot of children who are... how shall I ...
17
votes
7answers
977 views
Is punishment necessary?
I'm a young parent, and still have a lot to learn, but I have been wondering a lot about whether punishment needs to be a part of parenting. Maybe I'm being too optimistic here, but are there any ...
17
votes
7answers
1k views
How to avoid corporal punishment?
I know that beating and spanking is no good, but there are situations sometimes when I'm unable to maintain control over myself.
We have two boys, one's five and the other's two.
Due to their age ...
17
votes
5answers
781 views
How do you handle unsupervised, poorly behaved children in public play areas?
This is closely related to this question. However, that primarily deals with interactions at relatively controlled, private functions. This question is more focused on the feeding-frenzy style chaos ...
15
votes
7answers
736 views
How can I negotiate with a toddler successfully?
Recently our 2.5 daughter started being really annoying about doing simple daily things, like brushing her teeth, dressing, undressing, putting on shoes to go out, etc. Often we need to negotiate up ...
15
votes
11answers
4k views
How do I deal with a child that refuses to do a chore or task?
How do I deal with 7 year old kid who refuses to do a chore or task? He's not listening and ignores my request.
15
votes
5answers
706 views
How do you stop a child from talking back without discouraging them from asserting themselves?
Our 3.5 yo is starting to talk back to us in the typical futile yes/no/yes/no pattern of opposites. The other day it was hooking his straps on his car seat; I asked him to put his arms in (like we ...
14
votes
7answers
664 views
How to approach my little brother's addiction to TV and computer?
I'm 26, my younger brother is 13. He is spending almost all of his day on TV and computer. Common problem, but I am really worried about him.
I came back to live in my parents' house since it's ...
14
votes
7answers
528 views
How to react to “cruelty” of a toddler?
My son is two and a half years old and is not in general of the violent type. However he regularly enjoys showing "cruelty". By that I mean that regularly when he "by accident" (let's stay positive) ...
13
votes
8answers
8k views
How do you stop a child from using bad language and profanity?
My child has started to use swear words. This is shocking because he is using words that we don't use. I'm not sure how to react! How do I get this to stop?
12
votes
12answers
2k views
When is physical punishment appropriate? [closed]
In what instances do you feel that striking your child is the most appropriate course of action?
12
votes
4answers
1k views
What consequences are appropriate for pre-teens?
There comes a time when time-outs don't cut it anymore.
Normally, when my kids exercise poor judgement, I let them experience natural consequences. However, sometimes their actions go against what we ...
12
votes
3answers
693 views
How can we discipline our toddler?
TL;DR version: Toddler doesn't understand disciplining. Help needed.
At 22 months, our toddler is incredibly active and always has been. He's also mostly very well-behaved, especially when being ...
12
votes
7answers
897 views
How do I put my child in time-out when we're in public?
What is the recommended thing to do when my kids are misbehaving in public?
For instance, I have had situations where they are yelling and throwing stuff in a restaurant, or the other day they one ...
12
votes
4answers
395 views
My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?
As I was picking my son up from daycare the other day, another boy's "Nanny" (grandmother, I presume) was picking him up at the same time. The boy was playing, and grabbing on to other children's ...
11
votes
10answers
949 views
How can I get my 4 year old to clean up toys without a battle?
Multiple times during the day, we have our 4 year old take a break from playing to clean up her toys. It's a huge battle every time. Usually, she ends up on the ground saying that there are too many ...
11
votes
4answers
356 views
How to get a child to stop pretending to choke on foods he doesn't want to eat?
I have a 4 1/2 yr old. We're at the stage where he's definitely finicky over foods. The issue is not so much that he's finicky, but that he expresses it by taking a bite and then mock choking. I am ...
11
votes
7answers
218 views
How do we teach our 1 yr. old that “no” isn't a game?
We have a little girl that's almost 13 months old. She's found that when she touches a power cord or near an electrical outlet and we say "no" that it's a bit of a game. She gets a funny smirk on her ...
11
votes
3answers
481 views
How do I stop my daughter from hitting another child?
Recently my daughter started to hit another girl with whom she is currently sharing her nanny. My daughter is 2 years and 2 months now, the other child is 1 year 3 months. The nanny was our daughters ...
10
votes
8answers
6k views
Is the “1 2 3 Magic” strategy for disciplining effective?
Has anyone had experience with the discipline strategies put forth in the book "1 2 3 Magic" by Thomas W Phelan?
"1-2-3 Magic" involves counting your child for bad behavior. For example, your ...
10
votes
5answers
334 views
How do you respond to a teenager who has started to smoke?
How can you best handle this? Coming off as too strong and authoritative might invite "rebellion". Too lenient makes it seem okay.
What is the best response for driving home the dangers and risks ...
9
votes
5answers
397 views
Is complimenting children where they can hear it good or bad?
TL;DR: Is there anything wrong with praising children to their parents while the children can hear it?
From R. Kipling's "The jungle book":
‘How beautiful are the noble children! How large are ...
9
votes
3answers
595 views
Punishment for stealing?
I'm in a situation where I'm really not sure what the best course of action is. Today I promised my younger sister that I would give her $100 if she worked up to running 3 miles. As proud as I was ...
9
votes
6answers
2k views
What should you do after you've raised your voice at your child?
We've all lost our cool at one point or another. We all know its terrible to raise your voice at your kids, but every once in a while we slip. I've occasionally raised my voice to my teenager and to ...
9
votes
3answers
397 views
How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?
My son is 8 and has always been argumentative and basically lazy with doing ANYTHING since he could talk.
If he has homework that takes ten minutes, he will take two hours due to just leaving the ...
9
votes
3answers
469 views
How can parents avoid their child becoming a “whiner”?
Inspired from my previous question, but distilled to be more specific:
What types of parenting would cause a child to become a "whiner?" By this, I mean that the child becomes someone who tends to ...
9
votes
8answers
840 views
How can I motivate my 16 yo daughter to do something valuable with her life?
I have a 16 year old daughter who, whenever she has free time wastes it on things that I think are futile like Facebook, Tumblr, etc.
She's also performing poorly at school. I've talked to her about ...
9
votes
6answers
486 views
How can I make my preschool child brush his teeth, and similar mandatory tasks?
Most tasks and chores can be taught by letting the child experience consequences, because those consequences are mostly immediate and direct (e.g. not going to the playground if the child won't put on ...
9
votes
3answers
458 views
How do you moderate a teenager's obsessive or excessive behavior?
We're not dealing with teenagers yet but I would really like to avoid this kind of outburst.
How have parents with teenagers been able to find/establish a balance for their children to not be so ...
9
votes
1answer
185 views
Is long-term punishment effective for children under 5?
A child throws a ball inside the house hard enough to knock over some furniture.
He knows he's not supposed to throw the ball inside, so there's a punishment.
Is "taking the ball away for a week" an ...
9
votes
2answers
299 views
My wild son - have i missed out on the key years of relationship-building and discipline?
I'm worried about my son's behavior.
He's bright and energetic, but his behavior seems out of control.
He was walking at 7 months. His language has always been good - he knew his alphabet in song ...
8
votes
5answers
379 views
How do you respond to minor injuries?
I have a 21-month-old daughter. Sometimes (not always), if she bumps her head, or stubs her toe, or whatever, this results in crying and asking to be held (and not wanting to be put down once the ...
8
votes
7answers
974 views
How strict should we be with our 14 month old boy?
Our baby is really sweet :)
Generally can be considered as a good / easy going baby. There are times though, when he gets totally out of control.
I've had a discussion with a child-psychologist who ...
8
votes
4answers
606 views
What are ways to stay calm when dealing with an argumentative teen as a step parent?
How do you deal with becoming short-tempered when dealing with a teenage step-daughter that's running her mouth? How do you cope with feeling overwhelmed, and how do you stay cool when hurtful things ...
8
votes
2answers
177 views
Golden rule 'do's' and 'don'ts'' when holding a child's party - your experiences are asked!
This Saturday my 4 year old is having 5 Kindergarten friends over to celebrate being one meter tall (it's a 'one meter party').
We'll have a house and (weather permitting) garden for an afternoon of ...
8
votes
3answers
553 views
What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?
As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
7
votes
5answers
866 views
Any suggestions on how to control yelling and negativity on our part, and also teach my 8 yr old son to not feel so helpless and cry so easily?
This is about my 8-year old son, who cries easily and helplessly, mostly in response to our enforcing discipline and routine or refusing things he wants.
I understand that he should not expect to be ...
7
votes
8answers
672 views
How can I stop repeating myself?
How can I get my child to listen to me the first time I ask for something? He pretends he didnt hear after the 4th time I ask, but it is obvious he did hear me the first time. He is two years old by ...
7
votes
6answers
2k views
How do you deal with a 9 year old not doing their homework?
My 9 year old girl is currently going through a phase where she isn't getting her homework done by herself. I'm trying to find the right balance between encouraging her to get her homework done, yet, ...
7
votes
2answers
266 views
My 8 year old daughter was taught by her classmates how to use the middle finger. How do I get her to stop this behavior?
Two of my daughter's 8 year old class mates taught my daughter how to use the middle finger. My daughter is now obsessed and wont stop. We don't use this at home and find it offensive. However she ...
7
votes
3answers
269 views
What kind of obedience is to be expected from a 2-years old?
My daughter is 2-years old, with what seems a good development overall. We also have a 7-months son. My wife takes care of them at home most of the time, and they also see their cousin (also 2-years ...
7
votes
2answers
175 views
What is the minimum amount of structure and rules that a child needs?
My wife and I have very different ways of handling our children (almost 3 and 5 years old). We agree about the rules we want to set, but we are complete opposite when it comes to implementing the ...
7
votes
2answers
154 views
How can you teach a toddler about pain without actually inflicting any in return?
My daughter is entering those 'terrible twos', and as a father I want to find the method of teaching her discipline and self control that really gets the point across. For most behaviors, my wife and ...
