How to enforce the rules you set for the child, and consequences when those rules are broken. See the tag [behavior] about why children act the way they do.

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28
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8answers
124k views

How can we discipline a strong-willed, misbehaving 5 year-old?

My 5 year old son receives and fears punishment but repeatedly exhibits the same unacceptable behaviors. He's always been strong-willed, and is usually the kind to view a statement like "Don't do ...
85
votes
16answers
9k views

How can you deal with tantrums without spanking?

My son just turned 2, and he started throwing more tantrums on us. He doesn't eat well or drink enough milk ... and he is becoming more adamant and says "No" more often. If we force him to drink ...
53
votes
16answers
3k views

Is bribing children with cash incentives a good idea?

I pay my 5.5yo $1 if she sleeps in her own bed and take $1 in rent when she sleeps in our bed. I've also taken to offering her $1 to pick up her 2.5 year old brother's Lego messes. Good or bad? ...
26
votes
8answers
3k views

Is punishment necessary?

I'm a young parent, and still have a lot to learn, but I have been wondering a lot about whether punishment needs to be a part of parenting. Maybe I'm being too optimistic here, but are there any ...
15
votes
3answers
2k views

How can we discipline our toddler?

TL;DR version: Toddler doesn't understand disciplining. Help needed. At 22 months, our toddler is incredibly active and always has been. He's also mostly very well-behaved, especially when being ...
11
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12answers
2k views

When is physical punishment appropriate? [closed]

In what instances do you feel that striking your child is the most appropriate course of action?
19
votes
9answers
1k views

What do we do when timeouts are not effective?

We have a three year old toddler, and he has just seemed to realize that timeouts are nothing more than him sitting in a corner for a few minutes. He has recently started doing a whole suite of bad ...
15
votes
9answers
7k views

How can I get my son to stay in bed at bedtime?

Lately my 4.5 year old son has started getting back up after bed time. Frequently we will go through the entire bedtime ritual, including a bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, books, and then being tucked ...
31
votes
8answers
2k views

What are some suggestions for punishing a child?

My daughters are clearly pushing the boundaries lately. They are trying to find out what is possible. I am really looking into ways to setting the boundaries. A friend recently suggested creating a ...
29
votes
7answers
8k views

What is the best way to respond if my child is picked on by other children?

What can I do if other children pick on my children? Obviously I can't perform any disciplinary actions. Reprimanding might make my child look like a "mama's boy" and doing nothing might look like a ...
16
votes
7answers
28k views

How do you stop a child from using bad language and profanity?

My child has started to use swear words. This is shocking because he is using words that we don't use. I'm not sure how to react! How do I get this to stop?
9
votes
8answers
4k views

How do I motivate my 8-year-old to practice the piano regularly?

I end up offering TV time as a reward but he complains so much while practicing, tracks time by calling out every 2 minutes, and practices without respecting the piano or the music (bangs it out). He ...
13
votes
7answers
20k views

How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?

My son is 8 and has always been argumentative and basically lazy with doing ANYTHING since he could talk. If he has homework that takes ten minutes, he will take two hours due to just leaving the ...
13
votes
12answers
41k views

Is the “1 2 3 Magic” strategy for disciplining effective?

Has anyone had experience with the discipline strategies put forth in the book "1 2 3 Magic" by Thomas W Phelan? "1-2-3 Magic" involves counting your child for bad behavior. For example, your ...
17
votes
11answers
9k views

How do I deal with a child that refuses to do a chore or task?

How do I deal with 7 year old kid who refuses to do a chore or task? He's not listening and ignores my request.
29
votes
3answers
5k views

How do you handle poor behavior by other people's children?

I believe that interacting with a variety of other children at social functions is an important part of childhood development. However, there seem to be a lot of children who are... how shall I ...
8
votes
2answers
8k views

How do you handle a toddler that refuses to say 'sorry'?

My two-year-old son is generally exceptionally well-behaved and polite. He was saying "please" and "thank you" at a very early age, and would apologize if he had problems sharing or accidentally hurt ...
9
votes
7answers
3k views

How strict should we be with our 14 month old boy?

Our baby is really sweet :) Generally can be considered as a good / easy going baby. There are times though, when he gets totally out of control. I've had a discussion with a child-psychologist who ...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

How to deal with tantrums in an older child?

We have three boys aged 4, 8 and 10. The youngest & eldest seem to be fine and no issues, but the middle child is quite willful and having tantrums. Its like he never quite grew out of the ...
9
votes
3answers
982 views

How to deal with the child when both the parents are not on the same page?

The kid will soon grow up to the age when she'll need to be disciplined. My husband and I are NOT on the same page regarding disciplining the child. I think if the kid cries because one parent has ...
21
votes
8answers
2k views

Why do kids always do things which we tell them NOT to do?

This is the kind of behaviour which I have seen in lot of kids including mine (2 year old). When I tell him NOT to hold a knife, he will make sure he does it. If I tell him not to spill milk on the ...
12
votes
5answers
849 views

Is complimenting children where they can hear it good or bad?

TL;DR: Is there anything wrong with praising children to their parents while the children can hear it? From R. Kipling's "The jungle book": ‘How beautiful are the noble children! How large are ...
30
votes
10answers
2k views

Reasoning vs “because I say so”

Raising our two-year-old, my wife and I have slightly different views on how to get our child to obey instructions, such as "get in the car seat" and "put on your shirt." One of us feels that it is ...
15
votes
7answers
1k views

How can I negotiate with a toddler successfully?

Recently our 2.5 daughter started being really annoying about doing simple daily things, like brushing her teeth, dressing, undressing, putting on shoes to go out, etc. Often we need to negotiate up ...
12
votes
8answers
3k views

How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?

Our daughter thinks she has an equal say in any of our decisions. She only does the things we tell her to do if she thinks they make sense, otherwise we have to threaten her, which makes her threaten ...
25
votes
5answers
2k views

How do you handle unsupervised, poorly behaved children in public play areas?

This is closely related to this question. However, that primarily deals with interactions at relatively controlled, private functions. This question is more focused on the feeding-frenzy style chaos ...
17
votes
12answers
7k views

How can I get my 4 year old to clean up toys without a battle?

Multiple times during the day, we have our 4 year old take a break from playing to clean up her toys. It's a huge battle every time. Usually, she ends up on the ground saying that there are too many ...
5
votes
4answers
2k views

Is it reasonable to put limits on a pre-teen playing video games?

Posted on behalf of a friend of mine: What are appropriate rules for how much time kids actually get to play video games (such as x-box 360, PlayStation 3, or on the PC)? Apparently we are the ONLY ...
21
votes
7answers
2k views

How to avoid corporal punishment?

I know that beating and spanking is no good, but there are situations sometimes when I'm unable to maintain control over myself. We have two boys, one's five and the other's two. Due to their age ...
20
votes
6answers
1k views

How do you discipline someone else's child?

We have friend who is living with us and he has a 5-year old boy. The child has been disrespectful and distructive. He tore a ceiling fan down, and has been breaking stuff and writing on the walls. ...
17
votes
5answers
3k views

My son witnessed a friend receiving corporal punishment; how do I prevent this from sending the wrong message?

As I was picking my son up from daycare the other day, another boy's "Nanny" (grandmother, I presume) was picking him up at the same time. The boy was playing, and grabbing on to other children's ...
14
votes
6answers
5k views

Should I cut my child's dad out of his life?

My son will be six years old in another month and since he has been 1 years old his dad has been in and out of his life. He has been to prison twice and spent a year both times he went, so that ...
13
votes
8answers
23k views

5 year old cries every time she is told “no”

My 5 year old daughter is crying every time she is told no. It doesn't matter if it is a little thing or a big thing she is asking for--she cries. We don't give in to her crying. We have tried ...
12
votes
7answers
5k views

How do we teach our 1 yr. old that “no” isn't a game?

We have a little girl that's almost 13 months old. She's found that when she touches a power cord or near an electrical outlet and we say "no" that it's a bit of a game. She gets a funny smirk on her ...
11
votes
4answers
3k views

At what age can children understand and respond well to discipline?

When my daughter was 6 months old, she liked to crawl over to our floor lamp and play with it (which is dangerous). Instead of trying to correct her behavior, we simply moved the lamp behind a child ...
10
votes
8answers
1k views

How to react when a child is in a dangerous situation which requires immediate reaction?

As with all children my son (16 months old) frequently gets himself in dangerous situations There is no problem with somewhat "static" situations, like trying to climb on a chair or slowly reaching ...
9
votes
5answers
568 views

When is corporal punishment abuse, really?

My friend (who believes in corporal punishment delivered lovingly[1]) has cancelled two of her pediatrician appointments now because one or another of her (4) children have had bruises on their ...
6
votes
5answers
211 views

How to ensure that necessary things get done when time is short?

My question is based on the following assumptions: I think that children learn by their success, if a certain behavior "works" to get what they want or not. In consequence: A child should never ...
14
votes
4answers
1k views

How to get a child to stop pretending to choke on foods he doesn't want to eat?

I have a 4 1/2 yr old. We're at the stage where he's definitely finicky over foods. The issue is not so much that he's finicky, but that he expresses it by taking a bite and then mock choking. I am ...
12
votes
6answers
6k views

What should you do after you've raised your voice at your child?

We've all lost our cool at one point or another. We all know its terrible to raise your voice at your kids, but every once in a while we slip. I've occasionally raised my voice to my teenager and to ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?

My well behaved, bright, popular, naive 9 year old son brought a plastic toy revolver (the kind with the bright orange barrel to indicate that it's a toy) to school yesterday. He snuck it into his ...
9
votes
6answers
1k views

How can I make my preschool child brush his teeth, and similar mandatory tasks?

Most tasks and chores can be taught by letting the child experience consequences, because those consequences are mostly immediate and direct (e.g. not going to the playground if the child won't put on ...
9
votes
7answers
4k views

How do you deal with a 9 year old not doing their homework?

My 9 year old girl is currently going through a phase where she isn't getting her homework done by herself. I'm trying to find the right balance between encouraging her to get her homework done, yet, ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I teach my 5yo son to respect authority?

My kid is nearly 5, and damn clever but unfortunately he lacks empathy and social skills. Among other things, he does not understand that when a parent gives an order, that order is to be followed -- ...
8
votes
2answers
774 views

How can you teach a toddler about pain without actually inflicting any in return?

My daughter is entering those 'terrible twos', and as a father I want to find the method of teaching her discipline and self control that really gets the point across. For most behaviors, my wife and ...
8
votes
1answer
254 views

How do you handle a pre-schooler who tries to use excuses to justify his behavior?

My boy is creeping out of 5 1/2. Right now we're dealing with a phase of "Justifications" We tell him not to do something but he starts with, "I'm just" or follows up with "It was an accident" I ...
8
votes
9answers
1k views

Should our 3 year old boy be made to look at me while I am talking (during discipline)?

Our little boy tends to get 3 minutes on the naughty spot when he's done something wrong. After this time one of us tries to explain why he's been naughty spotted and what he should do differently ...
7
votes
5answers
9k views

What should be done when your child wakes up from a nap and is extremely irritable?

We have a daughter who takes naps and (usually) wakes up extremely cranky and irritable. She is 1 month away from being 3. Because she is so irritable, she'll usually cry when she wakes up. Depending ...
5
votes
3answers
630 views

Discipline for a 3 and 5 year old

I am a step-mother to two children. They obviously come from a split family. This past year that the Father and I have been together, and court proceedings for custody continue, we have noticed huge ...
5
votes
4answers
402 views

How do you respond to your pre-schooler when they tell you that you're on Santa's Naughty List?

My three-year-old son really enjoyed Christmas. My son is still talking about how Santa came to our house to fill our stockings two times (my wife put treats in one night, and I put some in two days ...