How to enforce the rules you set, and consequences when those rules are broken. Use [behavior] for questions about why children act the way they do.

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7answers
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How to stop the toddler from *deliberately* throwing things out of the balcony?

The girl is 20 months old, and it is not her fault that she loves her game of picking things from the room and throwing them out of balcony and watching them fall. She has been told in plain English ...
13
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6answers
8k views

What should you do after you've raised your voice at your child?

We've all lost our cool at one point or another. We all know its terrible to raise your voice at your kids, but every once in a while we slip. I've occasionally raised my voice to my teenager and to ...
13
votes
4answers
7k views

What consequences are appropriate for pre-teens?

There comes a time when time-outs don't cut it anymore. Normally, when my kids exercise poor judgement, I let them experience natural consequences. However, sometimes their actions go against what we ...
13
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3answers
4k views

Stop a 14 month old from hurting the dog

I am the father to a 14 month old son, an only child, and he is pretty much how I would expect a toddler to be. He has an unquenchable curiosity, a need for play, occasional cuddles, intense desires ...
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4answers
4k views

9 year old son brought a toy gun to school – how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?

My well behaved, bright, popular, naive 9 year old son brought a plastic toy revolver (the kind with the bright orange barrel to indicate that it's a toy) to school yesterday. He snuck it into his ...
12
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5answers
941 views

Is complimenting children where they can hear it good or bad?

TL;DR: Is there anything wrong with praising children to their parents while the children can hear it? From R. Kipling's "The jungle book": ‘How beautiful are the noble children! How large are ...
12
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5answers
4k views

Any suggestions on how to control yelling and negativity on our part, and also teach my 8 yr old son to not feel so helpless and cry so easily?

This is about my 8-year old son, who cries easily and helplessly, mostly in response to our enforcing discipline and routine or refusing things he wants. I understand that he should not expect to be ...
12
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6answers
8k views

How to direct my one-year old baby not to do bad things

I have a one-year old baby, she is smart and loves to try everything and anything, including putting her fingers in the electricity and tasting every possible thing she finds :) How can I tell my ...
12
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8answers
6k views

How do I convince a stubborn 8 year old that the parents are supposed to be in charge?

Our daughter thinks she has an equal say in any of our decisions. She only does the things we tell her to do if she thinks they make sense, otherwise we have to threaten her, which makes her threaten ...
12
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3answers
2k views

How do I stop my daughter from hitting another child?

Recently my daughter started to hit another girl with whom she is currently sharing her nanny. My daughter is 2 years and 2 months now, the other child is 1 year 3 months. The nanny was our daughters ...
12
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7answers
9k views

How do we teach our 1 yr. old that “no” isn't a game?

We have a little girl that's almost 13 months old. She's found that when she touches a power cord or near an electrical outlet and we say "no" that it's a bit of a game. She gets a funny smirk on her ...
12
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4answers
357 views

How to positively teach a toddler dishonest actions are bad

While on vacation my family and I were at a store and my 4 year old daughter had picked up a toy and placed it on the checkout belt. At this time we did not notice the toy and proceeded to checkout ...
11
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6answers
6k views

Should a 5 year old excuse themselves after farting?

My five years old daughter sometime farts silently, and she doesn't excuse herself. Every time I detect such a situation, I remind her that she should try to avoid it and leave the room, going to a ...
11
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12answers
3k views

When is physical punishment appropriate? [closed]

In what instances do you feel that striking your child is the most appropriate course of action?
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4answers
4k views

How strict should I be with my 9 month old?

I want him to be well behaved but I also want him to be happy and to feel loved by us. I find it difficult to balance telling him off so the he understands not to drop food on the floor, grab my ...
11
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7answers
6k views

How do you deal with a 9 year old not doing their homework?

My 9 year old girl is currently going through a phase where she isn't getting her homework done by herself. I'm trying to find the right balance between encouraging her to get her homework done, yet, ...
11
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8answers
2k views

How to react when a child is in a dangerous situation which requires immediate reaction?

As with all children my son (16 months old) frequently gets himself in dangerous situations There is no problem with somewhat "static" situations, like trying to climb on a chair or slowly reaching ...
11
votes
3answers
9k views

At what age can you start giving time-outs?

Is 2 years too young? She hit her baby brother and I'm not sure she really will understand th concept of time-out yet.
11
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3answers
1k views

How to deal with the child when both the parents are not on the same page?

The kid will soon grow up to the age when she'll need to be disciplined. My husband and I are NOT on the same page regarding disciplining the child. I think if the kid cries because one parent has ...
11
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6answers
1k views

How do you respond to a teenager who has started to smoke?

How can you best handle this? Coming off as too strong and authoritative might invite "rebellion". Too lenient makes it seem okay. What is the best response for driving home the dangers and risks ...
11
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4answers
5k views

At what age can children understand and respond well to discipline?

When my daughter was 6 months old, she liked to crawl over to our floor lamp and play with it (which is dangerous). Instead of trying to correct her behavior, we simply moved the lamp behind a child ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

How do you moderate a teenager's obsessive or excessive behavior?

We're not dealing with teenagers yet but I would really like to avoid this kind of outburst. How have parents with teenagers been able to find/establish a balance for their children to not be so ...
11
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4answers
5k views

How to stop my preschooler from constantly running away

We have a very active 4-year-old. She has a will of her own though with what she wants to do, and there's one thing in particular that I find I don't know what to do: she's constantly running away. ...
11
votes
4answers
213 views

How can I better recognize the point where I've talked too much when disciplining and it's becoming counterproductive?

I come from a long line of lecture-happy parents. This used to drive me nuts when I was a kid. I would get into trouble and then get an earful. My eyes would glaze over and I would basically just ...
11
votes
1answer
298 views

What are the impacts of public shaming?

What are the short-term and long-term consequences of public shaming as a discipline technique in terms of behavior, psychology, and/or the parent-child relationship? (One example.) Per some feedback,...
10
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7answers
5k views

How strict should we be with our 14 month old boy?

Our baby is really sweet :) Generally can be considered as a good / easy going baby. There are times though, when he gets totally out of control. I've had a discussion with a child-psychologist who ...
10
votes
8answers
2k views

How can I stop repeating myself?

How can I get my child to listen to me the first time I ask for something? He pretends he didnt hear after the 4th time I ask, but it is obvious he did hear me the first time. He is two years old by ...
10
votes
4answers
52k views

How can I deal with my 12-year old son's rebellious behaviour?

My son is a very loving child and fun to be with usually....ever since he turned 12 he is suddenly the resident expert in the house on anything from how to drive a car to how become president. You ...
10
votes
4answers
4k views

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! Is this normal?

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! He plays hockey, which he loves. I stopped letting him play for his teams when his report card came back with bad ...
10
votes
5answers
810 views

Preschooler can't sing, but sings anyway - loudly!

My 3½ year old has never had any sense of music, rhythm, notes, or anything resembling the musical arts. (Motor skills is where he truly excels; he's a sports person, not a musician.) Recently, he ...
10
votes
7answers
4k views

How do I get my child to stop picking his nose?

My son picks his nose and, yes, eats it. How can I get this to stop?
10
votes
2answers
708 views

What to do when an eight-year old says “sorry” in a not sorry voice

My daughter sometimes hurts me. When it's physical, it's pretty much almost always accidental. But sometimes when she's mad, she says mean things that are meant to hurt. If I say "Ow!" or "That hurt ...
10
votes
3answers
1k views

How can parents avoid their child becoming a “whiner”?

Inspired from my previous question, but distilled to be more specific: What types of parenting would cause a child to become a "whiner?" By this, I mean that the child becomes someone who tends to ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Ego-centric kid or control-freaked mum?

Apparently, I'm doing something wrong or I don't know how to connect with my child properly... I have a lovely 5,5 years old daughter, who is an absolutely cute and non-problematic girl at a ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I stop my daughters severe destructive as well as hoarding behaviors?

My daughter is 7 years old and she has a few very extreme behaviors. She destroys just about everything she owns as well as going after my things. She is hoarding, not only toys and such but garbage ...
10
votes
5answers
580 views

Kids and Cell Phones? What limits should be set along with giving the first phone?

My nieces and nephew visited recently and I was floored that all three of the girls (including the eight year old) already have their own cell phones. What really bowled me over was when we sat down ...
10
votes
2answers
3k views

How do I deal with rude or uncooperative siblings?

This is a bit of a tricky one but here goes: I'm in my mid-twenties and (for various reasons) currently live at home with both parents, my 15 year old sister, and my 17 year old brother. I regularly ...
10
votes
1answer
377 views

Are there any studies showing how spanking bans have affected society since 1979?

In 1979, Sweden became the first country in the world to ban spanking under all circumstances: at home; at school; in penal institutions; everywhere, full stop. Since then, several dozen other ...
10
votes
1answer
324 views

Child has been copying aggressive behavior…hitting adults. What should I do?

Recently on a visit to our friend's place, my daughter witnessed my friend's 9-year-old son smack/punch a male adult. (They were playing rough and the adult pushed a little too hard and the boy fell ...
9
votes
7answers
5k views

Is 15 years old too old to ground for bad grades?

I have a 15 year old that has been grounded 60% of the time the past two years. Most of the groundings are around his grades or forgetting to do homework. When he is grounded at first he buckles ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

Punishment for stealing?

I'm in a situation where I'm really not sure what the best course of action is. Today I promised my younger sister that I would give her $100 if she worked up to running 3 miles. As proud as I was ...
9
votes
8answers
5k views

How do I motivate my 8-year-old to practice the piano regularly?

I end up offering TV time as a reward but he complains so much while practicing, tracks time by calling out every 2 minutes, and practices without respecting the piano or the music (bangs it out). He ...
9
votes
5answers
2k views

When disciplining that used to work no longer works for a middle childhood boy and q preschooler girl

My wife and I are two working parents so most of the discipline happens on week nights or weekends. When our boy or girl was acting out the consequences were usually one of these: Take away ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How can you teach a toddler about pain without actually inflicting any in return?

My daughter is entering those 'terrible twos', and as a father I want to find the method of teaching her discipline and self control that really gets the point across. For most behaviors, my wife and ...
9
votes
2answers
290 views

What is the minimum amount of structure and rules that a child needs?

My wife and I have very different ways of handling our children (almost 3 and 5 years old). We agree about the rules we want to set, but we are complete opposite when it comes to implementing the ...
9
votes
2answers
3k views

Is 5 Year Old Exhibiting Bullying Signs?

My SO and I are concerned about his 5yo's recent behavior. She has become sneaky, rebellious, defiant, manipulative, and slightly physical with her 4yo sister, but never with other children. It truly ...
9
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2answers
316 views

Should you secretly drill your children?

A lot of situations we teach our children about come up all the time. They get plenty of practice looking both ways before crossing the street, for example. However, there are some situations that ...
9
votes
6answers
2k views

How can I make my preschool child brush his teeth, and similar mandatory tasks?

Most tasks and chores can be taught by letting the child experience consequences, because those consequences are mostly immediate and direct (e.g. not going to the playground if the child won't put on ...
9
votes
4answers
1k views

What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?

As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
9
votes
5answers
759 views

How to get your toddler to ask nicely for things when they're grumpy?

We taught our son really early on to say and sign, "Please" when he wants things. We've never responded to his demands when he wants something, and have him ask nicely first. We also encourage "thank ...