How to enforce the rules you set for the child, and consequences when those rules are broken. See the tag [behavior] about why children act the way they do.

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578 views

Preschooler can't sing, but sings anyway - loudly!

My 3½ year old has never had any sense of music, rhythm, notes, or anything resembling the musical arts. (Motor skills is where he truly excels; he's a sports person, not a musician.) Recently, he ...
10
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3answers
2k views

At what age can you start giving time-outs?

Is 2 years too young? She hit her baby brother and I'm not sure she really will understand th concept of time-out yet.
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3answers
752 views

How can parents avoid their child becoming a “whiner”?

Inspired from my previous question, but distilled to be more specific: What types of parenting would cause a child to become a "whiner?" By this, I mean that the child becomes someone who tends to ...
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4answers
583 views

How to answer someone who says, “What he needs is a good spanking!”

I was in a restaurant when my 2.5 year old decided to throw a major tantrum. I used time outs, so I scooped him up and carried him towards the door (he was crying and flailing). Much to my ...
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3answers
742 views

How do you moderate a teenager's obsessive or excessive behavior?

We're not dealing with teenagers yet but I would really like to avoid this kind of outburst. How have parents with teenagers been able to find/establish a balance for their children to not be so ...
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5answers
535 views

How do you respond to a teenager who has started to smoke?

How can you best handle this? Coming off as too strong and authoritative might invite "rebellion". Too lenient makes it seem okay. What is the best response for driving home the dangers and risks ...
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3answers
906 views

Punishment for stealing?

I'm in a situation where I'm really not sure what the best course of action is. Today I promised my younger sister that I would give her $100 if she worked up to running 3 miles. As proud as I was ...
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7answers
3k views

How do you deal with a 9 year old not doing their homework?

My 9 year old girl is currently going through a phase where she isn't getting her homework done by herself. I'm trying to find the right balance between encouraging her to get her homework done, yet, ...
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5answers
1k views

When disciplining that used to work no longer works for a middle childhood boy and q preschooler girl

My wife and I are two working parents so most of the discipline happens on week nights or weekends. When our boy or girl was acting out the consequences were usually one of these: Take away ...
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6answers
2k views

How do I get my child to stop picking his nose?

My son picks his nose and, yes, eats it. How can I get this to stop?
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7answers
10k views

5 year old cries every time she is told “no”

My 5 year old daughter is crying every time she is told no. It doesn't matter if it is a little thing or a big thing she is asking for--she cries. We don't give in to her crying. We have tried ...
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3answers
10k views

How can I motivate my child who doesn't care about rewards?

My son is 8 and has always been argumentative and basically lazy with doing ANYTHING since he could talk. If he has homework that takes ten minutes, he will take two hours due to just leaving the ...
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2answers
246 views

What is the minimum amount of structure and rules that a child needs?

My wife and I have very different ways of handling our children (almost 3 and 5 years old). We agree about the rules we want to set, but we are complete opposite when it comes to implementing the ...
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2answers
408 views

What to do when an eight-year old says “sorry” in a not sorry voice

My daughter sometimes hurts me. When it's physical, it's pretty much almost always accidental. But sometimes when she's mad, she says mean things that are meant to hurt. If I say "Ow!" or "That hurt ...
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3answers
744 views

How to deal with the child when both the parents are not on the same page?

The kid will soon grow up to the age when she'll need to be disciplined. My husband and I are NOT on the same page regarding disciplining the child. I think if the kid cries because one parent has ...
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2answers
261 views

Should you secretly drill your children?

A lot of situations we teach our children about come up all the time. They get plenty of practice looking both ways before crossing the street, for example. However, there are some situations that ...
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5answers
391 views

Kids and Cell Phones? What limits should be set along with giving the first phone?

My nieces and nephew visited recently and I was floored that all three of the girls (including the eight year old) already have their own cell phones. What really bowled me over was when we sat down ...
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6answers
1k views

How can I make my preschool child brush his teeth, and similar mandatory tasks?

Most tasks and chores can be taught by letting the child experience consequences, because those consequences are mostly immediate and direct (e.g. not going to the playground if the child won't put on ...
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2answers
529 views

Ego-centric kid or control-freaked mum?

Apparently, I'm doing something wrong or I don't know how to connect with my child properly... I have a lovely 5,5 years old daughter, who is an absolutely cute and non-problematic girl at a ...
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4answers
942 views

What house rules are appropriate for pre-teens?

As my kids grow, they need different limits. Right now, the house rules are reactionary as a result of something we didn't like happening. Things like, "call home if you are going to be somewhere ...
9
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2answers
273 views

Different discipline approaches by working mommy and stay-home daddy

I work at home (although me being independent is almost a euphemism for being unemployed). My wife is the primary breadwinner in our household. My wife is also currently under a lot of stress, as ...
9
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1answer
262 views

Is long-term punishment effective for children under 5?

A child throws a ball inside the house hard enough to knock over some furniture. He knows he's not supposed to throw the ball inside, so there's a punishment. Is "taking the ball away for a week" an ...
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2answers
512 views

How do I stop my daughters severe destructive as well as hoarding behaviors?

My daughter is 7 years old and she has a few very extreme behaviors. She destroys just about everything she owns as well as going after my things. She is hoarding, not only toys and such but garbage ...
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2answers
410 views

My wild son - have i missed out on the key years of relationship-building and discipline?

I'm worried about my son's behavior. He's bright and energetic, but his behavior seems out of control. He was walking at 7 months. His language has always been good - he knew his alphabet in song ...
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5answers
5k views

Help troubled 5 year old boy on 2nd suspension for kindergarten

Can anyone give me any advise on how to help my 5 year old son. He is currently on his second suspension from kindergarten and nothing I do will stop his behaviour. He has hurt other students and his ...
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7answers
2k views

How strict should we be with our 14 month old boy?

Our baby is really sweet :) Generally can be considered as a good / easy going baby. There are times though, when he gets totally out of control. I've had a discussion with a child-psychologist who ...
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5answers
712 views

How do you respond to minor injuries?

I have a 21-month-old daughter. Sometimes (not always), if she bumps her head, or stubs her toe, or whatever, this results in crying and asking to be held (and not wanting to be put down once the ...
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5answers
694 views

What do you do with the cousins who, at birthday parties insist on opening the presents when they are not the guest of honor?

The girls insist on opening presents for their younger cousins and brother at birthday parties where the family is included. While this was acceptable when the younger cousins (and sibling) were too ...
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5answers
2k views

Any suggestions on how to control yelling and negativity on our part, and also teach my 8 yr old son to not feel so helpless and cry so easily?

This is about my 8-year old son, who cries easily and helplessly, mostly in response to our enforcing discipline and routine or refusing things he wants. I understand that he should not expect to be ...
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4answers
2k views

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! Is this normal?

My 12 year old has been blowing off homework, and now is writing on his clothes! He plays hockey, which he loves. I stopped letting him play for his teams when his report card came back with bad ...
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4answers
2k views

What are ways to stay calm when dealing with an argumentative teen as a step parent?

How do you deal with becoming short-tempered when dealing with a teenage step-daughter that's running her mouth? How do you cope with feeling overwhelmed, and how do you stay cool when hurtful things ...
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2answers
269 views

Golden rule 'do's' and 'don'ts'' when holding a child's party - your experiences are asked!

This Saturday my 4 year old is having 5 Kindergarten friends over to celebrate being one meter tall (it's a 'one meter party'). We'll have a house and (weather permitting) garden for an afternoon of ...
8
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1answer
192 views

If you are using time outs, how do you deal with a toddler asking for them

We're currently trying to avoid punishment, with the exception of very "natural" consequences (refusing to eat lunch may result in no snack, etc.) But for a while, we were using "time outs" for those ...
8
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1answer
233 views

Child has been copying aggressive behavior…hitting adults. What should I do?

Recently on a visit to our friend's place, my daughter witnessed my friend's 9-year-old son smack/punch a male adult. (They were playing rough and the adult pushed a little too hard and the boy fell ...
8
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1answer
202 views

How do you handle a pre-schooler who tries to use excuses to justify his behavior?

My boy is creeping out of 5 1/2. Right now we're dealing with a phase of "Justifications" We tell him not to do something but he starts with, "I'm just" or follows up with "It was an accident" I ...
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5answers
3k views

Is “hot saucing” bad parenting?

"Hot saucing", a technique where a small quantity of hot sauce is introduced a kid's mouth as disciplinary action, is considered bad parenting. Though I have not done hot saucing (possibly because my ...
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5answers
623 views

How to punish “unpunishable” 3y old

My son is 3,5y old. Generally he's a good boy. But whenever he can he is very annoying at some time and just refuses to listen. For example he will take my cell phone and when we ask to give it back, ...
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5answers
2k views

About blackmailing

"Don't blackmail her", said my sister while I was talking to my almost 3 years old daughter. Ok, blackmailing is bad, but… what else ? I read blackmailing reinforce kind of Pavlovian reactions ...
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6answers
3k views

How do I motivate my 8-year-old to practice the piano regularly?

I end up offering TV time as a reward but he complains so much while practicing, tracks time by calling out every 2 minutes, and practices without respecting the piano or the music (bangs it out). He ...
7
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2answers
2k views

My 8 year old daughter was taught by her classmates how to use the middle finger. How do I get her to stop this behavior?

Two of my daughter's 8 year old class mates taught my daughter how to use the middle finger. My daughter is now obsessed and wont stop. We don't use this at home and find it offensive. However she ...
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3answers
1k views

What kind of obedience is to be expected from a 2-year old?

My daughter is 2-years old, with what seems a good development overall. We also have a 7-month old son. My wife takes care of them at home most of the time, and they also see their cousin (also ...
7
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2answers
575 views

How can you teach a toddler about pain without actually inflicting any in return?

My daughter is entering those 'terrible twos', and as a father I want to find the method of teaching her discipline and self control that really gets the point across. For most behaviors, my wife and ...
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2answers
2k views

Is 5 Year Old Exhibiting Bullying Signs?

My SO and I are concerned about his 5yo's recent behavior. She has become sneaky, rebellious, defiant, manipulative, and slightly physical with her 4yo sister, but never with other children. It truly ...
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5answers
682 views

How strict can I be with my niece?

I am a new Uncle and I sometimes find myself in the position that I should tell my niece off, yet I feel that it's not my place to do this. I would only raise my voice to her, but I feel this may ...
7
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3answers
560 views

Typical frequency of discplinary issues for a kindergartener?

My five year-old son just started kindergarten a week ago, and has already committed two infractions serious enough for the teacher to bring to our attention: once throwing a serious tantrum, and ...
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3answers
819 views

9 year old son brought a toy gun to school- how can we get him to understand this isn't just about bringing a toy to school?

My well behaved, bright, popular, naive 9 year old son brought a plastic toy revolver (the kind with the bright orange barrel to indicate that it's a toy) to school yesterday. He snuck it into his ...
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2answers
176 views

What can I do to prevent two well-behaving siblings from turning into a maelstrom of destruction when combined?

“Yeah!” said James enthusiastically. “I don’t mind sharing a room with Al—Teddy could have my room!” “No,” said Harry firmly, “you and Al will share a room only when I want the house demolished.” ...
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5answers
5k views

What should be done when your child wakes up from a nap and is extremely irritable?

We have a daughter who takes naps and (usually) wakes up extremely cranky and irritable. She is 1 month away from being 3. Because she is so irritable, she'll usually cry when she wakes up. Depending ...
6
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3answers
1k views

7 year old boy who uses bad language

I am at a loss as to what to do with my seven-year-old son. He constantly uses bad words. Occasionally, he uses curse words but mostly it is words like "dumb," "idiot," "stupid," etc. At first I ...
6
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5answers
198 views

How to ensure that necessary things get done when time is short?

My question is based on the following assumptions: I think that children learn by their success, if a certain behavior "works" to get what they want or not. In consequence: A child should never ...