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My brother (age: 37) is least attached to our parents. At the time of his birth, our parents had left him with our grandmother. He saw our parents, for the first time, at the age of 3 years. He has lived with them after that till his high school.

Could that be one of the reasons for detachment?
What is an ideal age duration for a permanent bonding to happen between the parents and their children?

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closed as primarily opinion-based by Rory Alsop, Chrys, Chris, Vicky, ThinksALot Oct 8 '13 at 11:23

Many good questions generate some degree of opinion based on expert experience, but answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise.If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

    
What do you mean by age duration? –  Dave Clarke Sep 18 '13 at 9:11
    
@DaveClarke means: 0-3 years of age or 6-12 years of age etc. –  TheIndependentAquarius Sep 18 '13 at 9:13
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I would say, 0–_age of child_ is the ideal age for permanent bonding to occur between a child and its parents. –  Dave Clarke Sep 18 '13 at 9:24
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I'd have to agree with Dave here. This question doesn't really make sense - the more time the better, but there is no minimum or a specific threshold below which things will not work. VTC as opinion-based. –  Rory Alsop Sep 18 '13 at 11:58
    
This question appears to be off-topic because it belongs on SE CogSci and have been posted there. It should be merged. cogsci.stackexchange.com/questions/4739/… –  user4784 Oct 8 '13 at 11:23

1 Answer 1

Research into attachment disorders like reactive attachment disorder show that inattentive primary caregivers or sudden changes of primary caregivers under age 3 or so can have permanent effects on a child's ability to bond with future caregivers, no matter how stable the relationship is after that point. It's something foster and adoptive parents are warned about and trained to handle.

Note that doesn't mean everyone with that kind of instability ends up having attachment issues. Nor does it mean you can't form a lasting bond with someone you met after age 3. Nor is a relatively detached relationship necessarily a result of an attachment disorder. It's just that age 0-3 is when the way you form attachments gets wired into your brain, and it can sometimes be hard to undo if you don't learn it then.

To put it another way, people with psychological attachment issues have problems bonding with everyone, not just their parents. If your brother has other close and lasting relationships with friends or his wife or his own children, it's unlikely the 3 years of being raised by grandparents damaged his ability to bond with your parents, and more likely his detachment is the result of ongoing factors.

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cogsci.stackexchange.com/questions/4382/… if you are interested and there's some more on cog sci cheers –  user4784 Oct 8 '13 at 11:25

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