My 14 year old daughter recently broke up with a boy she was dating for 7 months because she fell in love with a girl. I totally support her as I had a similar experience when I was in my 30's. My daughter and I have talked and I have told her how much my husband and I support her. Love is love and it's wonderful to have someone special in your life. We also know that adolescence is a time when teenagers are in flux about their identity and we don't want to hamper her in any way.
Being an adolescent, when she was dating her boyfriend we had limits in place, one being that he was not allowed in her bedroom. Recently, my daughter has asked to have her girlfriend over for a sleepover. My husband and I discussed this at length and decided that we would be creating a double standard if we allowed her to have her girlfriend over for a sleepover given that her boyfriend was never allowed to be in her bedroom. We have told her, however that her girlfriend is welcome in our home anytime, and while she's here, they can hang out in her bedroom if they want with the door open, however sleepovers aren't allowed for the reason described. I've also told her that just as she and her boyfriend would cuddle together on the couch and watch a movie, she and her girlfriend should follow their instincts and be themselves while in our house (ie there is no need to pretend that they are not dating).
My daughter has not taken this well. She feels that we are discriminating against her by not allowing the sleepover, however, I've tried to point out that in essence, if we allowed her girlfriend to sleepover, we would be discriminating against the boys. This is further complicated because I also have another teenage daughter who is heterosexual and I would be caught in the middle if I allowed one of their dates to sleepover and not the other ones.
Any advise or comments would be helpful. Maybe there's a better way to handle this without upsetting my daughter. Thank you