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Scenario: 1-bedroom apartment and there's no one else living in the house to watch the toddler. Any recommendation?

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19  
Hmm... Quickly? –  Russell Borogove Jun 15 '13 at 23:51
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suppose if u get caught handle using this parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/5939/… question :P –  BlueBerry - vignesh4303 Jun 17 '13 at 15:46
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Quickly, yes, and quietly. One bedroom + sex life gets a lot harder when it's a nosy school aged child you have to watch out for. Quiet is the key. Practice! –  Jax Mar 21 at 11:52

6 Answers 6

This is a procedure we apply (works also for activities other than sex):

  1. Make sure toddler is asleep
  2. Turn on your wireless baby monitor
  3. Do whatever you need in any room (except bedroom), break and check when you hear some noise from monitor.
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Exactly what we do. –  ChristopherW Mar 21 at 12:06

Of course you can just have sex in front of a toddler. If he/she is busy playing or reading or whatever, he wont notice. And if he sees you, you show him a smile to show him, that everything is ok (because it could of course irritate him if he sees you during this event for the very first time). After that smile you just go on.

The problem with this method is, that there may arise a conflict between him and his siblings or anything else (hungry, thirsty, has to go to the toilet, wants to ask you something: »can you open/give me this and that please«, »why is this and that«, …) where you have to intervene or respond. Or, if the toddler is still breastfed, the toddler could become attracted by the swinging bare milky breasts of his lovely mother (of course breastfeeding and having sex are not mutually exclusive, just a bit more complicated, and if for the first time for the parents, somewhat new and a little distracting).

So waiting for the children to be asleep or out of the house clearly is the easiest solution.

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1  
Sometimes children remember these things. –  Dave Clarke Mar 20 at 11:30
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@Dave Clarke: What things do you mean? Their parents having sex? And then? –  erik Mar 20 at 11:35
    
Seeing their parents having sex. It could be disturbing: the beast with two backs, and all. –  Dave Clarke Mar 20 at 13:31

To add to Dave's excellent answer I also recommend trying to let go of any inhibitions you might have in regards to when and where you have sex. In my book the living room on a Saturday afternoon is a perfectly acceptable place & time to get jiggy with it. As long as the children are asleep of course. Oh, and you might want to lock the front door if you have friends & family that are accustomed to the old knock/open/yell hello routine. That dead bolt has saved us a couple times :)

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You should find a baby sitter or ask neighbour to spend time with your child.

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Honestly, this is a good problem to have. I think you should get a baby-sitter to take the kid on a walk for an hour or so one weeek-end day. You are so worth it.

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Or in my case, five minutes or so. :'-( –  corsiKa Jul 3 '13 at 14:35

Wait until the toddler is asleep.

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This really is the only way. If the toddler is awake, there is always a chance they will come in or do something that will require your immediate attention. –  DrJ Jun 15 '13 at 16:28
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Lots of experience with this. Upvoted. –  Ernie Jun 26 '13 at 16:39
    
This is of course the easiest solution. But you should consider my answer as well if you don’t always want to wait until the toddler is asleep. –  erik Mar 20 at 1:38
    
Or park the toddler in front of the TV and lock the bedroom door. –  Robert Mar 20 at 21:18
    
Can someone please explain to me how my 2 year can detect ninja-quiet disrobing in the dead of night and wake up crying for something, thwarting our efforts to enjoy 3 minutes of bump and grind? –  Jax Mar 21 at 11:56

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