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Following up on my question Should I expect a boy to ask me for permission for prom, I've decided to ask, considering how my daughter hints that he'll ask her within the next week, if he asks me for permission, how should I react? I mean, apart from the yes/no answer, how should I feel/react?

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2 Answers 2

up vote 8 down vote accepted

I would be quite pleased, for three reasons:

  • I get to meet and chat to the boy asking her out, so I can get a bit of a feeling for whether I approve
  • I have an indication that he is willing to talk to me - talking to a parent can be very scary
  • If I know my daughter doesn't want to go to the prom with this person but isn't wanting to to tell them, you can provide the 'Sorry, no' message
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Would you grill the kid, or would you just look them over? I feel obliged to examine the teen as a parent, but I realize that that's exactly what I hated as a kid. –  Snakes and Coffee Jan 18 '13 at 9:12
    
Not a grilling, definitely - more of a general chat, especially if I don't know his parents. Just to give me a bit of an idea what he is like. –  Rory Alsop Jan 18 '13 at 9:15
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Totally agree with this one. You might have him over for dinner or go out with the two of them to an early movie and dessert afterwards or something (dessert after, instead of dinner before, means you can talk about the movie too). Such a "date" will allow for "more natural" and casual conversation so you can feel you got to know a little about him without leaving him feeling "grilled." It will be awkward at first, but well worth it because it gives everyone a chance to "loosen up" a bit. –  balanced mama Jan 19 '13 at 1:29
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+1 @balancedmama. This also allows the couple to have a bit of a date-before-the-prom-date. It sucks when prom is your first official date and you're all awkward and don't know what to say to the other person. Your daughter will thank you for that! :-D –  Meg Coates Jan 19 '13 at 19:33

I would say ask him to ask your daughter. You are not the person he wants to dance to, after all! And if he doesn't give you good vibes, then ask your daughter in turn to reconsider that decision. And if he seems good enough, ask your daughter to ask his parents whether she can take him to Prom.

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+1 Excellent point. Though I would go easier on the kid and start by noting how much you appreciate him showing you respect in this way. Although this may arguably have been somewhat disrespectful of your daughter, his intentions were clearly in a very good place. I love the suggestion of having your daughter ask his parents the same question, though. –  Nicholas 21 hours ago

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