So, my six-year-old daughter has understood that babies come from a "special kind of hug" done between the mommy and daddy. I should clarify that she has actually seen sex on a farm between animals and labeled it "hugging" herself when she saw it (though she couldn't really see the exact mechanics). I should also clarify that she already knows all the terminology for both the male and female anatomy and that the "special hug" requires no clothing and an older age than she is at now. I have used the term sex with her, but she prefers "special hug" and has clearly shown she isn't ready to fully grasp the mechanics part yet.
However, she put two and two together herself when she asked how babies were made and I answered something akin to when two people really love each other, they can get together and choose to make a baby together. She actually asked, "is it like the special hug the donkey's did?" I answered, "It can be." The confusion lies in the "choice" part. She understands this hug cannot be made accidentally and even that requires removing clothes, but is now confused because her youngest aunt (my youngest sister in law and who ran away from home) has now sent out an announcement and photo to all of us that she just had a baby.
There has been a lot of conversation about it now over the holiday. My daughter has always just figured that special hug happened between two people that were married and though I didn't purposefully plant this idea, I didn't correct it when she expressed it either.
Needless to say, my six-year-old has some questions:
"Why did Auntie do the special hug when she isn't ready for a baby?" being one of the main ones.
I do want her to get the idea that the "special hug" is generally reserved for much older members of society and that have a monogamous relationship without getting into too much detail or sounding too judgemental while also answering her question honestly.
My youngest sister in law is getting a lot of critique, because she is young, without an income, and without the means to truly care for this baby - subjects that are complex to broach with a six year old especially when sex is wrapped up in an already complex topic.
"Your aunt made a dumb-f*ck decision" - The answer my lovely father in law inserted and that thankfully, my daughter didn't quite catch - seems highly inappropriate to me as I'd like to be a little more sensitive to my sister-in-law and her baby even if it wasn't the smartest choice in the world. After-all, we all make mistakes.
I wondered how other parents in this situation may have discussed this with their early elementary or primary kids.