My neigbor is now a grandmother of two little girls about whom she is very concerned.
Relevant backstory: The grandmother/neighbor was an adict to multiple things while she raised the mother of the two girls. The grandmother is now clean and sober and has been for ten years, but she lost most of her girls' own childhood. Her daughters have similar troubles now and the grandmother who is my neighbor has done what she can (suggested AA etc.)
The oldest daughter has now had two children of her own that are basically being neglected. The six month baby is being given sugar with her formula and rice cereal (God only knows why this mom thinks that is a good idea!), both gradaughters have been left with friends and boyfriends while no one was in the house that wasn't influenced by one substance or another, they are often dropped off at the grandmother's house with horrible rashes etc. The older grandaughter is three and still not potty trained - most of the rashes are related to being left in their own mess too long and not being bathed.
What I am aksing She has asked me for ideas about what to do. She doesn't like the idea of reporting to the authorities (which is something I brought up in the discussion) because she is afraid she will never see her grandaughters again if she does so.
My neighbor, would like some ideas about how to convince her adult daughter to leave the grandaughters with her nearly all the time, as well as just general ideas to help the girls get the health and stability they will need.
I would like to offer some ideas to her, and maybe even come up with some great information that might help assuage her fears of getting the US gov. involved.
The grandmother has decided that talking to the pediatrician about it and encouraging a report by her is a good idea. One of the girls has already been in last week for a cold and rash and they are supposed to go back in for a follow-up on the rash tomorrow. Thanks. It was a combination of comments and answers that inspired this idea, so I wish I could "accept" all the comments and answer that helped. We'll see how it goes from here.
The grandchildren are now living with grandma on a permanent basis and their mother only has monthly visitation rights once she has completed rehab successfully (for now).