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My seven-year-old nephew is such a reluctant reader that despite the many teacherly suggestions I have been able to offer his mom and a lot of work with his own teachers he still just won't read. She isn't yet ready to have him tested for dyslexia or anything, but I wondered if anyone visiting this site might have some additional suggestions.

Things she has already tried:

  • She reads a lot with him already (though she does all the reading while he does the looking).
  • Working with easy readers that are super short and simple such as "Bob's Books," "Spots adventures with Dick and Jane" and the like along with phonics awareness curricula.
  • Using a yellow film over the letters to make the pages easier to view.
  • Having his vision checked.
  • Taking Turns Reading Sentences.
  • Playing lots of pre-reading games such as Down by the Bay.
  • Book Walks before Reading.
  • Providing ample choices of books in his interest area.
  • Introducing him to sight reading of high-frequency words through flash-cards.

I actually think it might just be there is too much pressure. He has three older sisters that all read well and read on-time or early and a cousin that is almost his same age that started at three. It looks to me more like a matter of if mom just relaxes and lets it be for awhile, he might come around, but it is really hard to tell from a distance for sure.

With that context in mind, is there anything else I could suggest to her that may be helpful for him to get him started?

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3 Answers

up vote 1 down vote accepted

It sounds like there might be a couple of different things going on: too much pressure and perhaps his mom is taking too much of an active role but in the wrong way.

And it seems like she needs to spend the time to find out why he's a reluctant reader. I know the idea that your child my be dyslexic or have some other learning disability is scary, but ignoring it isn't going to make it go away and will only make the situation worse. You know this. You're a teacher. But I also know that you can make every recommendation in the world...parents are going to do what parents are going to do (or not do, as the case may be)

Once she's ruled out everything else, then if he still isn't super interested in reading she can back off and sort of allow things to evolve naturally.

Is she, perhaps, reading to him too much? I only say this because I used to work with a teacher whose son was a reluctant reader. He simply loved that his mom read to him and wasn't at all motivated to learn to read for himself. Gina finally had to tell him that if he wanted to know what was going on in a book he had to learn how to read. And he did. He's in middle school and reads The Lord of the Rings and books of that sort now so clearly this method worked. Sometimes it takes a little tough love.

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It might be an issue of getting read to too much. Not necessarily by his mom, but between she AND his sisters he's kind of got it made. In regard to dyslexia/dysgraphia - I don't think it would hurt to have him tested, but from what I've observed when he is visiting with us (or us with them) he just isn't interested yet so your theory might make a lot of sense. – balanced mama Nov 26 '12 at 15:31
I agree @balanced, and I like the book I mentioned for trying to assess what's going on. In reading the question, I, too, wondered, is it because he can't read or because he won't read? Seems like there are different strategies once we know more! :) – Christine Gordon Nov 26 '12 at 16:21

It would make sense for him to be tested for dyslexia/learning difficulties as that's the only thing that hasn't been tried. It may be the case though that he simply doesn't like to read. Maybe books just aren't his thing, he won't be the first and won't be the last if that's the case.

My advice would be to get him tested, and if he is fine simply to back off. He may feel pressured to read even though he doesn't want to, and that could lead to negative associations with reading.

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Well yes, but certainly there are many more possibilities than just dyslexia! :/ – Christine Gordon Nov 26 '12 at 14:39
Good point @ChristineGordon, I did mean a broader range of learning disabilities, and I've edited accordingly – GdD Nov 26 '12 at 14:52

Sounds like she's tried a lot of great things. She would be welcome to check out The Learning Tree by Stanley Greenpsan. It's written for parents to help them understand any learning difficulties their child might have and activities to boost skills. I'm not saying this child has one, but it's a way for the mother to think about possibilities without getting doctors involved if she's not ready for that.

Otherwise, some helpful things may be to:

  • consider if the parents are reading in front of the child(ren) so that reading is viewed as a pleasurable leisure activity for adults, too, not just something adults make kids do.

  • see adaptations of books they've read together: plays, movies, etc and compare/contrast

  • read through the dialog in the child's video games if relevant, it can make the game's plot make more sense and it might be something the child is more inclined to go along with

  • make reading more engaging by being animated when the parent reads to the child, use voices and lot's of "oooh! I wonder what will happen next? Can you guess?!" - be sure to leave off at cliffhangers!

  • when the parent is reading to the child, be sure to read books that are slightly more advanced than the child could read himself, to keep pushing the limits of his vocabulary and comprehension

  • use books as a reference aid when the child asks one of those typical "why?!" questions respond with "huh, I'm not sure, let's find out" and go to the library to find out or internet if you have to, but better to get a child-friendly science book.

otherwise, it might help to understand the problem, which is why I recommend the aforementioned book. Is it vocab, phonetics, dyslexia, comprehension, processing, etc.

Best of luck!

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