You could try connecting with him. Often, parenting isn't about seeking obedience, it is about building connection. Children will follow leaders they trust and respect, and feel trusted and respected by. Just like the rest of us.
And, yes, you are right, not all children are the same. He is an individual with his own triggers, sensitivities, etc, as well as his own unique gifts, talents and strengths.
Again, like all of us, children are looking for belonging and significance. When he can't find it through socially constructive means, he'll "act out" in what looks like misbehavior. Help him find his sense of belonging and significance in your family and he won't be searching for it elsewhere (through tantrums as an 8 year old or gangs, drugs, sex etc as a teen).
To me, tantrums aren't about winning or losing, they are about a child meeting their needs in the best way they know how. Teach him something different, with the same care, attention and patience you taught him to read. When he throws a tantrum, you can respond with "You must be really upset/frustrated/angry/disappointed!" - acknowledge his feelings so that he feels felt (absolutely crucial) but also so that you build his emotional literacy! And then invite him to cool down. Create a space/routine for him to cool down at a time when you are both in a good mood. Ask him "When you are upset, what might help you cool down?" "Would music or art help you? Would laying in bed help you?" etc. It's not time out in the punitive sense, it's time-out in the constructive, productive life-skill sense. He comes out when he's ready and then you can have the conversation when everyone is feeling better.
There's also a lot of recent developments in brain science and child development that shows children learn self-regulation in the presence of others who are self-regulated. Mirror neurons in the brain allow a child/person to "mirror" the people around them. When you demonstrate self-regulatory behavior, he will learn it. In exactly the same way he learned to mimic your facial expressions as an infant. Thus, when you demonstrate things like "I am too frustrated to talk respectfully right now so I am going to go cool down" - he will learn it too and it will become part of his norm.
I suggest reading Positive Discipline for more resources on building a family that is mutually respectful, collaborative, inclusive, engaging, etc.