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My daughter is 4 1/2 or so. She knows how to count to at least 10, possibly higher, and will do so unprompted.

However, we've recently tried to start playing some board and card games with her. In these situations, she starts having problems with her numbers. Even it's something simple, like counting the number of dots on the dice, or counting spaces to move on a board, she clams up. She starts throwing out numbers without even looking at what she's supposed be counting. I can't tell if she's guessing, nervous, or something else - but it's very frustrating to try and play these games with her as a result.

Ideally, I'd love to be able to solve the problem and get her counting in these situations, but I'd at least like to understand why she starts acting this way.

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Great first question. Clear and fits with community standards – balanced mama Oct 30 '12 at 0:51

2 Answers

up vote 12 down vote accepted

My guess is that she has memorized the number sequence, but hasn't actually made the correlation between the words and the actual amount of things. This a big leap. Have her practice counting as much as you can, but make it fun and incorporated into daily life as much as possible.

Like,

When giving snack "here's one slices of orange, now you have two* orange slices." etc. Walking up stairs "one step, two steps, three steps, etc"

Things like that where she's counting without feeling pressure. She'll start to make the connection that numbers represent the amount of stuff. To her they probably just sound like a rather meaningless sequence of words, even if she has figured out that you can represent the different numbers by drawing different shapes.

Another milestone for this age is comparisons like, "which is bigger?", "who has more cheerios?", "which glass has less milk?" etc. This is GREAT practice!

Let me know if you need more.

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Thanks, that makes a ton of sense! – Daniel Schaffer Oct 28 '12 at 15:05
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I also should have added: thank you for playing board games with your child. You are teaching her and helping her practice how to take turns, how to win/lose with grace, how to read, how to count, how to sit still, how to pay attention, how to plan/make decisions, how to have patience, how to see something through to the end, etc. I WISH more of my students' parents had played board games with them. Instead, I do. :) – Christine Gordon Oct 28 '12 at 21:03

I think Christine Gordon is right. The problem could be that she doesn't understand the relationship between numbers and their representation of quantity.

Or it could be that she's just excited about playing the game and just wants to get to the "fun" part of the game (moving her piece around the board or whatever). Unlike adults who have played games like this forever and can identify the number on a die just by looking at it, kids can't do that. Having to stop and count is way less fun than moving your piece around a board and discovering the outcome. My son is your daughter's age, and we go through the same thing--less now than we used to. He would start to count something without really paying any attention to what he was doing, and we would have to stop him and make him slow down and really count. It took lots of practice, but he's better now.

Or it could be a combination of both which I would bet is probably the case. Having her stop and slow down and helping her count while she's moving her piece, as well as reinforcing the concept in other areas will make a big difference and she'll probably have it figured out before you know it!

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