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Our 6.5 year old boy came home one day saying "there's something wrong with my mind", after some questioning he told my wife that he sometimes falls in love with girls and can't stop thinking about them (even girls he hardly knows).

Is this normal? I tried searching for "puppy love" but couldn't find any references to this.

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6 Answers 6

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There is nothing wrong with his mind. The first time I fell in love was before my 4th birthday. I fell in love all the time in the following years, both with girls I hadn't previously known and with girls I had known for some time.

There is nothing wrong with him telling you about this experience, either. On the contrary.

The only thing that slightly bothers me is the phrase "there's something wrong with my mind" - but that's probably just a way for him to introduce the subject.

So just discuss the subject and don't worry about it.

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I think he meant to say that he finds it hard to concentrate due to having fallen in love. Of course my wife told him that there was nothing wrong with his mind but neither of us could remember thinking of love at his age (I find it impressive that you can, I remember almost nothing from my early childhood). –  Abba Sep 4 '12 at 13:21

Your boy is perfectly normal and reminds me of myself at his age. I constantly was "falling in love" but looking back, I was attracted to or enjoyed being around that person. I can also see now that I look back that I was looking up to my own parents and siblings relationships. Wanting to be like them and have what they have. I also, can see TV being an influence as their is so much emphasis on relationships on television/music.

If you haven't already, I would ask him what he loves about these girls and that should give you a good idea of where his feelings are coming from.

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Awww. This is so sweet. There is nothing to get worry about it, they are just kids. My son was in love for the first time at age 4 in Pre-K. He came home one day and told me, mom I like 2 girls, can I have 2 girlfriends? I say not, you must choose one. But of course I worry a little bit, I thought about myself, then and ask my husband if he felt in love when he was 4, the answer was not... At that time my son and I were having therapy for his behavior for ADHD I had the chance to ask the professional, he told me it was normal. Later on my son pick up his girlfriend, she was a Japones girl, that girl knock my son's heart. You have not idea how in love my son was, he wrote and draw pictures of her and him together holding hands, or he giving flowers to her, all that pictures was over and over everyday in the walls, in his homework, in the books at home, in the patio and he will tell everybody how in love he is . He plan to marry her, after he finish school of course, he said they are going to have 2 kids, he put names to the kids, he also told me, he will be a surgeon, he will buy a big house for her and their kids. We were military and we used to move every 2 years, so after we moved, he was sad, he wrote a lot of letter to her, he wonder if she miss him, if she is thinking about him, if she is sad because he is in another country, he was a sad boy. I try to comfort him, and tell him that yes, she is missing him a lot, but the same way we move, she may move soon also, but communication is important. The real thing is that that girl didn't know my son was so in love with her, and time means healing for all of us. Later on in kinder he got another girlfriend, then in first grade. In second grade he and his best friend got girlfriends also, but again, the girl didn't know they had boyfriends hahaha. Now he is in 3 grade, and he didn't mention about a girl jet. I ask him, he say not, and smile. All kids are, and feel different, my second child is 5 and he didn't have a girlfriend yet. Wish you the best luck for you family, just enjoy your son's feeling, and let him know how in love you are with his mom.

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I think your little boy is OK! :) but I don't want to call this feeling "love". Probably, your boy thinks that those little girls are pretty, kind and he is attracted by them. He is little and little children are always interested to world around them and to people different from them. Our society is full of false "love". Our society countinuously tells about "love". Tv programs and magazines are full of love story. All people talk about love without interruption, and nowadays also little children are "fallen in love". But our society has almost removed love by daily life. I think that your baby calls "love" a common feeling, what is wrong is the name given to it.

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Yeah, I'd call it a crush and encourage the child not to confuse a crush with 'real' love. –  Benjol Sep 20 '12 at 7:39

The first thing I suggest you do is discuss with your child what they think love is. Children communicate with the vocabulary they know and an adult understanding of love is different from your child so make sure you are understanding exactly what your son is trying to communicate to you.

I would also spend some time discussing why he is feeling anxious enough to feel something is wrong with him. Maybe this is just a new emotion that he has caught onto and has started noticing his attraction and is trying to work out things in his mind where these thoughts/emotions/feelings belong.

The main point I would like to make that is not in the other answers is that I feel now would be a good time to start talking to him about personal space and respect for others, especially respect for the opposite sex. I don't think it needs to be too deep, but a good chance for you to help him understand and sort-out his feelings while helping him develop socially.

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Totally normal. Don't worry about it as long as they aren't emulating sexual behaviors with one-another (if he ever engages these girls in play for example) its perfectly fine and nothing to be concerned about. They are new to figuring out love outside of family and what it all means and he is just "practicing" the idea of love. My daughter once asked her daddy to marry her. He said, "I can't. Already taken, but I'll love you as my daughter" - perfect answer hubby! I can't tell you how many teachers have stories about students "in love" with each other - or even the teacher.

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