Toddler interacting with other peers [duplicate]

Question

Possible Duplicate:
2 yrs and 9 months old toddler attachment to toys

My son (2 yrs 9 months) used to have very good interaction with other kids, he used to sing rhymes with them, call them to play at his 2 yrs. A while ago (9 months back), my cousin's son (3 years at that time) hit, bite and kicked my son with in 15 seconds it all happened, my son cried whole night. And from that night, he stopped interacting with other children even if other kid is new and gentle, my son simply do not do any thing he just acts like other kid is not with him.

Recently in a play grounds, he had same experience with a 4 years old kid, Now my son scared of standing next to new child, he maintains at least half a feet distance with other kids. If a child approaching my son faster, my son gets scarred and walk's away from other kids way with scary body movements.

Question is: is this normal ? what should i do, to develop interaction skills with child. I do not have any relatives or any kids near by my place. We just started him sending to daycare.

Answer 1

So my son went through some similar stuff a couple of years ago. He wouldn't interact with other kids and he didn't want to go to daycare at all. I spent some time observing at the day care and discovered that the teachers had a very relaxed attitude about bullying, and my son was being bullied.

To me, he was reacting rationally. If other kids hit and bite, they need to be treated with caution.

So what we did was change his environment, moved him into a different school. It took months for him to finally relax and start trusting his peers and his teachers. Since then he has gained a lot of confidence, and he's willing to entertain the concept that other kids might not be mean to him.

But of course, sometimes they are, and he had similar problems at summer camp this year, with some older kids picking on him. But in that case, with his added confidence from the better environment, he was able to find some friends and navigate the situation. He enjoyed going to camp, he just avoided the people who were mean to him. But he is feeling more cautious about kids he doesn't know.

Again, this is a rational reaction. He is concerned that he is going to be picked on because he has been picked on before.

Your kid isn't going to just start playing with strange kids. He thinks that they might hit him and bite him, and that's a totally rational fear for him.

So I think the key is to put your child in environments where he will have time to get to know other people, and to be patient and let him figure out that he can trust these people in his time, not yours.

Answer 2

Practice what to do in these situations.

Elicit some ideas from your boy ("what could you do or say if someone hits you?").

Then play the attacker, and have him use try those strategies. (A very loud "NO!" that gets the attention of adults and often stops attackers in their tracksis one of the best.)

You may also want to teach him that sometimes pushing is okay, like when an biter won't stop. This way he isn't relying on others to protect him, and his confidence should build.

Worked for my three-year-old and seven-year old. ^_^