My husband and I have tried very hard to show both of our children that they are loved and cared for, and to encourage their own unique interests and to be proud of the individuals they are growing into. My boys (4 and 2) like to dress in matching clothes sometimes and play the same games sometimes, but they are also very much their own little selves.
The problem is that when we go out, other people tend to pay attention to the little one and ignore the elder. I wasn't overly concerned about it at first, but the elder has started noticing and commenting on it. And most concerning of all is that now he has started firmly declaring that his eyes are blue and big and beautiful (they are a lovely brown) like his little brother's, and he will start doing whatever it is that his brother has done recently that has gotten a stranger's attention (like singing the alphabet, or using baby talk).
My 4-year-old is a good kid, and I am really concerned about him being down on himself. I can't change what other people say to him, nor can I make them pay attention to both boys equally, so how do I help him understand that he doesn't need to compare himself to his brother?
I should mention that by "stranger," I don't mean some random weirdo on the street, but rather residents of our town who we encounter with regularity but don't know well socially.