Help child overcome fear of water on head

Question

My 22-month-old daughter absolutely hates getting her hair wet.

At bathtime, she complains (crying, but without tears) when I pour water on her head in preparation for washing her hair (even if I'm careful not to get the water in her face and ears). She doesn't mind when I wash the hair. Rinsing is the same. Wetting her hair by having her lean back into my hand and dipping the back of her head is the same...she's very emotionally uncomfortable in this position. (Once, I even put her on her back in the empty bathtub before turning the water on, and she panicked and got up very quickly.)

I imagine this goes back to something we must have done earlier - my wife suggested that we might have gotten water in her ears when she had ear infections. Either way, the real question here is, what can we do to help her overcome this?

Answer 1

We had exactly the same situation with our daughter, until very recently (she is three years old now). The best recommendation I can give you is:

1. Patience..
2. Patience..
3. Patience...

We were always firm about washing her hair regularly, even though she protested quite strongly. On the other hand, we always told her before, that we would wash her hair today (like, at noon, when we usually bathe her shortly before night-time, and repeatedly during the afternoon). That did not make her like it any more, but I believe that it is important to be honest to your child in those things. When it was time to wash her hair, we informed her again of what was about to happen, and addressed her protests ("I know you don't like it, but it has to be done, I'm sorry sweety") instead of ignoring them. I believe that this is important, because we want our child to know that we listen to her, so that she can confide in us.

It went like this for almost two years, and suddenly, about 6 weeks ago, she started rinsing her hair herself. Miracles do happen... ;-)

Anyway, it your daughter's reaction does not necessarily have to be caused by something you did earlier, maybe she just doesn't like it, period. Don't beat yourself up because of this, thinking that you are bad parents, because you aren't!

Answer 2

With my 22-month-old son, the complete opposite approach works best. If I take water in a pitcher and shout: "Wooooo SPLASH!" as I let it all fall on his head, he laughs and asks for more. If I try to do it slowly and patiently, he complains.

In general, I find that adding sound effects to the activities he dislikes helps a lot (such as going "bzzzz CLIP! bzzzz CLIP! bzzzz CLIP!" when cutting his nails). It might be worth a try if you run out of patience :) Of course, back off immediately if it doesn't work. But in any case, you can try to make it into a game in some other way that she might enjoy.

Answer 3

Treb makes some wonderful points that I hope you find reassuring. In addition to these, we had the same problem with our little one for awhile too. The way we solved it was by giving her a choice to let us do it or she could do it while we monitored and made sure all of it got rinsed. She learned how to lean back somewhat and use the a cup while she sat up (this required a lot of time because we had to say the parts she'd missed and help her learn to angle her head so she could get them). She eventually realized how hard it was for her to do it herself with the cup and became okay with laying back and rinsing it (herself).

It really worked out wonderfully because now she is that much more independent and the fact that she'll lay back made learning to float on her back in the water feasible too.

Answer 4

Wetting her hair by having her lean back into my hand and dipping the back of her head is the same...she's very emotionally uncomfortable in this position. (Once, I even put her on her back in the empty bathtub before turning the water on, and she panicked and got up very quickly.)

It may be possible that it is all about the "position" in which you make the child sit while bathing, since lying down completely in someone's arms or in front of someone is a way of surrendering.

In India, we don't usually have bath tubs in houses. We have taps. So, I have spent all my life by now by sitting in the squatting position on a Chowki with my head bent down. I shut my eyes tightly. Bring the hair down and try to keep it all in front of the ears rather than behind or over them. This way when I put the water with a mug on my head, I know exactly how much quantity can I tolerate at one go, and how to put the water carefully so that it doesn't get in the ears, when to stop and when to start etc.

Give her the control and see if that helps.

Answer 5

I believe the child is afraid of suffocation or rather a blocking of air by the water. She goes into panic mode in different positions because she doesn't have any control over the amount of water you are going to pour on her.

Have you ever experienced gasping for air when too much water falls on your head? That is a panic moment. I experience it even now (at 28 years old) whenever I pour excess water on my head. As a small child, from one of her past experiences, she is afraid about water blocking her breathing.

I would suggest to rub the water down her nose as soon as you have poured water on her head so that her nose is cleared. And please make sure to pour little amounts of water in one go.