There are a couple of issues here. Your child throwing tantrums and dealing with that has been addressed by others. Then there is the cultural issue of how the interaction between an Indian parent and child should be. I'll try to address that.
I'll explain the emotions in the t-shirt issue, for example.
For example, he had to wear a yellow t-shirt to school for a rehearsal
which we all forgot about. This was enough to make him cry a lot,
especially when his father tried to rationalize that this was a
rehearsal and he would have the t-shirt for the final performance. His
father is unable to accept arguments from his children and tension
erupts when my son says what he believes is true ("dad, you don't know
what I am talking about") which, my husband, who is Indian like me,
does not consider respectful.
The whole, "unable to accept arguments from his children" needs to be addressed. The parent has to leave the mentality of "what I say is what needs to be done" or "what I say should be sufficient." It's not. You're going to end up raising a child that doesn't trust you because you refused to understand their emotions. You cannot tell someone how they should or should not feel. After all, the kid has a point: dad does not understand why he was upset about the t-shirt. The kid may have been embarrassed in front of his peers; no amount of rationalization can fix that. An apology can.
However, there is another problem. Instead of the problem being "we forgot the yellow t-shirt", the problem became "dad, you don't understand." Which turned into (I imagine) "Stop telling me what I don't understand! I am your father, I know because I have more experience than you." An appropriate solution to the t-shirt problem should have been that remembering to wear the shirt should have been the child's responsibility. If it's important to him, he should remember it. If he wants you to remember, you could have suggested something like a family calendar where these things can be written down. See, how the problem changed from blaming you to teaching the child about taking responsibility?
Now, to deal with the scolding. What is scolding suppose to accomplish? Have you considered why he is late so often? Is he going to bed late? Is he not waking up early? Is his alarm clock broken? Instead of scolding the child on how he is late (a situation he cannot control once he is late), try presenting solutions. Ask him plainly and simply - what can you do to make sure that he is not late? Forcing your kid to behave by means of scolding him is not going to get anywhere - it is only going to get him to resent you.