My 13 year old still wets the bed. Over the years we have tried alarms, medication, waking him up at various times, controlling his drinking, charts (behaviour modification). He hates it and wants to stop. He can sometimes stop for a couple of nights - he has been on school camps and managed two - but always starts up again. (And I suspect then he doesn't sleep properly to stop himself going into a deep sleep.) He does his own laundry. He has been checked to see if there is anything physically causing the problem. Does anyone have any advice?
By whom? It sounds like it's past time to see a specialist about this, or a different one if you've already seen one.
For our daughter (7 right now), we have to use a multi-pronged approach:
No wait, the most important thing is to not get upset, disappointed, or frustrated with him. I'm sure that he hates this (and possibly, by extension, himself) at least as much or more than you do. I also know that this is easier said than done -- I'm sure I'm not the most pleasant person in the world when I'm being shaken awake at 3 a.m. to help change sheets.
Another thing to look into is if there's any other sources of stress in your son's life. There's a possibility that there's something else going on in his life that's really bothering him and bed wetting is an expression of that strong emotion. However, getting that information may be easier said than done with a 13 year old.