Maria Montessori as you know was the first woman physician in Italy. In what became her life-work, she accepted children who had been cast off by the public education system at the time and worked what were considered "miracles" when, in reality, all she did was listen, follow, prepare an environment, and mentor.
Of note was her continual examination and refinement of methods. Here was true Science, one that did not rest upon a proclamation that the "answer" has been found.
Contrast to the culture (I can speak of the US) today, where (particularly) medication is seen as not only a solution but a necessary one for issues that you raise. Medicine generally rests its case, as does the one-size-fits-all system of education. If you don't fit (most don't) then you're a failure. If you don't take the pill, you will not succeed. It seems pathetic that we must be in some form medicated to function in this society, and I do not restrict the term to pills in a bottle.
In many ways that last remark is, I think, strikingly telling, for America is a world leader in the intake of antidepressants (alone) and an emerging environmental phenomenon is one concerned with water supply pollution by these excreted drugs.
It may be useful to consider some of the issues Thom Hartmann (author and radio host) has posited regarding AD(H)D. A striking point he makes is that the emergence of this phenomena has been gradually oncoming since the transition from an agrarian to an industrial (and now) and then to a technological society (and we might also consider the environmental and emotional pollution thereof). In each step of this transition we see the cubicles becoming smaller, the flourescent lighting brighter, and the lines which we are told indicate "good" and "bad" behaviour becoming more firm and unwavering. Yet, none of us are wired quite the same and, given the pace of transition, our biological evolution has not quite adapted. Hence the fallout.
So the question on medicating may come down to one of deciding who is really in need of it. My view is that our media-saturated and highly controlled culture is the sick child in the room and the most wonderfully curative and most merciful act of healing that could be brought to bear would be to render every TV set as non-functional. That would be a good start.
So here's an idea. Try, in your own home, to reduce/eliminate the barrage of media, and then watch what happens.
Second, I suggest some physical activity that will help discharge some of the energy.
Third, find more open and expansive spaces in which to be. You may see a remarkable shift, to a more "grounded" state, in a different environment.
All human beings wish to be successful. Coming up against your personal limitations repeatedly can cause one to give up. Mindfulness of the developmental stages and sensitive periods in your own child might also help as you consider a detour around the obstacles until the time (if ever) is right to face them.
Just my few thoughts...