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Is it normal for a 2 year old to throw a fit, crying, clinging to me, saying no, stay mommy, when her father comes to get her? She doesn't do it if she gets dropped off at her grandparents' house or great grandparents' house. She only does this at her dads, or if he comes to pick her up.

It is giving me extreme anxiety. I want her to enjoy going with her dad, but this behavior does not seem right.

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    The question that would really be relevant is how she behaves fifteen minutes after dad took over... Welcome to Parenting SE!
    – Stephie
    Jan 22, 2016 at 19:52
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    Does she also do this when daddy returns to drop her back off with you: "No, Daddy, don't go"?
    – Stu W
    Jan 24, 2016 at 13:20
  • You and her father have separated?
    – MontyBom
    Jan 27, 2016 at 14:42

2 Answers 2

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Question: Have you spoken to her father about this? And I think asking how she is 15 minutes after pickup is a great idea. As a daycare provider I see it all the time...transition fits. But as soon as the parents are out of sight, they're usually right off playing like nothing happened.

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No, that is not "normal". It may be that nothing deadly wrong is happening, but you really should listen to your kids cry, because they mean something -- even if it is not something you would care about.

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    There clearly isn't enough information to say a two-year-old having a tantrum is not "normal", since all two-year-olds do this from time to time. This is a short, unhelpful answer that could also increase the questioner's already troubling anxiety.
    – MontyBom
    Jan 27, 2016 at 14:40
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    Children also learn that crying can get certain kinds of behavior from parents. Sure it "means something", but what, and why is it clear cut that it isn't normal (e.g. separation anxiety, which is common in children of divorced parents)?
    – Acire
    Jan 27, 2016 at 21:37
  • I've seen many parents say that "childrens cry, that's normal, that's what they do". Perhaps the child is actually feeling bad, feeling unloved, thinking that the bad feeling he is experimenting will last forever. Most parents ignore this and treat the child as a crying robot.
    – fiatjaf
    Jan 28, 2016 at 3:15
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    That's not the case here; the OP has stated she's concerned about the crying and it's reasonable assume she is also concerned about the reason for it. Other parents that ignore crying aren't really relevant here, particularly if it's just anecdotal.
    – Acire
    Jan 28, 2016 at 4:01

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