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Have a 3 yr old daughter and a 2 week old daughter. Unfortunately, before the baby came my wife and i failed at potty training the 3 yr old as well as detaching her from her binky (mostly used at nights and nap time). She now has zero interest in the toilet and refuses to give up the binky. Now that she sees the baby in diapers and with a binky, it seems nearly impossible to do anything about this. suggestions?

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I don't believe you can potty train a child who is unwilling to be potty trained. It's always far more trouble for you than for her every time it fails. If you can somehow get her interested (maybe an M&M every time she sits and goes) you might succeed, but time is on your side - you can wait a bit. She wouldn't be wearing diapers to her wedding! –  Marc Jul 4 at 17:46

3 Answers 3

That sounds perfectly normal! You might wait a few months before trying again, giving your daughter time to adjust to all the change she is experiencing. Give her time to grow into her role as big sister before you start toilet training again.

When you start again, don't try to do toilet training and binky separation at the same time. A binky, like thumb-sucking, is what a child uses to self-calm. Toilet training is stressful, and your daughter will need this valuable tool to help her through it. Binky transitioning can be accomplished later and over a longer period of time as she learns other ways to calm herself. Typically, supports like a binky are phased out over time, and it is not unusual for a child to need this at night into elementary school (I know adults who still have these special vestiges of childhood!).

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I'm not a parent but I know people that got their kids to stop using binkys. Let them use them, but each week cut a little snip off the tip. After two or so months there won't be any left. Most likely they'll not want it any more though before it even gets to that point. You just gotta make sure they don't find any full ones or it ruins it

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All the sudden attention the new baby is getting is likely to perturb your 3-year-old, due either to jealousy of the new interloper, or fear of your loss of interest and attention, or a bit of both.

It's quite normal for older siblings to regress somewhat when there are stressful changes in their immediate environment, partly because it feels easy and comfortable to them to fall back on familiar older behaviours, and perhaps partly because they believe that behaving more like the new baby will regain them the parental attention they feel they have lost.

I'd recommend following MJ6's suggestion of weaning her off the binky and diapers both slowly and gradually, and also making it a priority to set aside sufficient undivided time to spend with your older daughter that she can be confident you haven't forgotten her emotional needs simply because you have a new baby in the house.

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