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Our daughter is 3 weeks old. She is good at both breastfeeding and formula. However, most of the time she won't do a pacifier. She will sometimes take a pacifier (it's a matter of seconds until she quits), but generally she doesn't want to have anything to do with it at all.

Our motivation: When she actually does take one, she calms down and seems to relax. My wife and I tend to agree that breastfeeding is what we want to do, but she'll normally fall asleep only when she eats. Therefore, our daughter has trouble falling asleep unless she's feeding from my wife or a bottle. I feel bad because my wife often has a bottle "on-demand" (for obvious reasons), and I've been trying to help out where I can... Any thoughts or suggestions?

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OH... 3 weeks old... Well, congrats and Happy Father's Day! – Jeremy Miller Jun 16 '14 at 3:47
Thanks, you too! It's our second, but our first one loved her pacifier... – inertialmedia Jun 16 '14 at 3:49
I wondered for a long time if I had a second child just how different they would be than the first. I won't find out, but you will and it started so early! :) I did use my pinky on occassion (per the midwife's suggestion). But, what's not "easy" about her normal sleep? – Jeremy Miller Jun 16 '14 at 4:00
She normally falls asleep only when she eats. My wife and I tend to agree that breastfeeding is what we want to do, so our daughter has trouble falling asleep unless she's feeding from my wife or a bottle. I feel bad because my wife has only one tool to soothe her, and more often than not she is the one feeding (for obvious reasons)... But yes, it's amazing how much different your children's personalities can be :) – inertialmedia Jun 16 '14 at 4:06
Well, keep in mind that at 3 weeks "normally" isn't really all that applicable. It's good that you want to be a strong contributor, but sometimes each parent simply has to do their part as nature has defined it. Breastfeeding especially at this age is key and no guy will substitute! :) – Jeremy Miller Jun 16 '14 at 4:10
up vote 5 down vote accepted

You may not like to hear this, but how about not giving her a pacifier? I grew up without ever having one. My daughter is well beyond that age and never had one. My mother always told me (unverified) that they increase the chances you'll need braces. It doesn't harm her not to have one, so why worry?

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Good Answer! When she takes it, she seems to relax. It'd be nice if she'd stay with it longer than a few seconds, and she could nap easier... – inertialmedia Jun 16 '14 at 3:34
Perhaps it's the "nap easier" which is the problem. It is implying that there is something otherwise 'not easy'. I'd need more definition of "easier" to give more advice. – Jeremy Miller Jun 16 '14 at 3:36
My daughter used a pacifier to satisfy her reflexive suckling throughout the night, and if it popped out overnight, she'd cry and we'd have to replace it. She didn't use it for very long (a few months), then became disinterested. – Noah Jun 16 '14 at 3:39
Yeah, this might just be a child that doesn't take them. ("If there's one thing, all my kids have in common, then it's that each one of them is totally different from all the others.") OTOH, IME breast-fed children need to learn to use a pacifier, as the technique of using them is totally different from sucking on a teat. – sbi Jun 21 '14 at 22:42
@sbi By "need to learn", I hope you mean "will need instruction if it will be used" as opposed to "must be required to use". – Jeremy Miller Jun 22 '14 at 1:29

I agree with the suggestions that you don't use the pacifier at all. However, have you yet found the pacifiers with the little stuffed animal attached? It's there to add weight and stability to the pacifier and keeps it on the baby's chest. They look like a pacifier with a beanie baby sewed to the part that we grip. Good luck, and probably your little one is just going through one of many short lived phases.

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I totally agree with not giving her one at all, we gave our son one and I wish we never did, if she does take it make sure you dont make the mistake we did and that was not taking it off him early, he is 4 now and still asks for it.

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