Take the 2-minute tour ×
Parenting Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for parents, grandparents, nannies and others with a parenting role. It's 100% free, no registration required.

I have a niece that cries on everything, when waking up, if someone doesnt give her something, if she doesn't get what she wants, if she wants something that isn't suppose to be of her, if someone is going out.Every time she is crying. This ultimately comes to me, as i want to have kid with my wife but i hate like how and when she cries. Its annoying and irritating.
Why does a child cry so much. She is 2 1/2 years old. How do one get her crying habit change. I feel like i am going insane and don't want kids.

Edit: She is raised by a nanny, both parent are working. Even i and my wife is working.

share|improve this question

closed as too broad by Joe, woliveirajr, Swati, Jeremy Miller, Shadow Wizard May 21 at 8:18

There are either too many possible answers, or good answers would be too long for this format. Please add details to narrow the answer set or to isolate an issue that can be answered in a few paragraphs.If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

3  
I feel that this question is simply too broad to answer usefully. Children cry for various reasons. Some of those reasons can be helped, some can't. If children crying bothers you, then perhaps parenthood isn't right for you; but also, when it's your child, it tends to be different - you feel more emotionally attached, and so you are more likely to sympathize and understand the child. –  Joe May 20 at 15:32
1  
I sympathize with you. I know a girl who is the same, she'd cry about anything, and she could cry hours without stopping. It drove me absolutely crazy. In addition to what Joe and Veitch said, how children are being raised also makes a big difference in their behaviour, and thus in how much they cry. What really helped in my case was to look at how the girl is being raised, and I found out that much of her crying was because when she cried she'd always get whatever she wanted. But remember, some crying is both normal and useful. –  Little Ms Whoops May 21 at 9:37
add comment

1 Answer 1

up vote 0 down vote accepted

At first crying is the only possibility for babies to communicate their discomfort. They have no other choice as they can not talk to you. The crying is a helpful indicator for parents, who wouldn't know otherwise when to take action. Often the type of crying can tell a lot about the cause (distinguishing the type is something you learn while parenting, in the meanwhile you try things on random until the crying stops). Crying out of pain sounds very different than crying because of a full diaper. So for the first 2 years, this is definitely a really helpful thing. It might be annoying, but that is an advantage for the child as it pushes you more to do something about it.

As the child gains more abilities in communication, the crying will decrease. But it will still be used as one important instance of communication. You will also be able to distinguish crying that has important reasons (like pain) from crying e.g. out of frustration where the child just has to go through at times. It depends on your reactions and the character of the child how much she will use crying or replaces crying with other types of communication. E.g. one year olds will use their fingers to point at things they want. So did my son point at the bottle or the mug if he wanted something to drink. If you recognize this and react to it appropriately, the child will be more likely to use the finger pointing instead of crying to ask for water.

Once the child's ability to talk increases she has even more ways of telling you what she wants. But she still doesn't know how to deal with frustration, with not having control over the whole world. The age where children throw tantrums is also known as the terrible twos. The child still needs to learn how to deal with her emotions and you can help her with that by showing her ways and by being a good role model. Don't reward this kind of crying, meaning: do not retreat to avoid tamtrums and the child will not use it as a way to get what she wants (nevertheless she still needs to learn how to deal with frustration). Temper tantrums are common in the age of 1 to 4 years and most children grow out of it.

Besides that: The ability to talk doesn't mean that the child is able to reflect on the reasons of his discomfort. Meaning: He might have the words to tell you: "Dad, play with me. You are always distracted with being online and answering questions on StackExchange. That makes me upset." But he might not be able to realize that this is the reason he is upset, so he just cries.

To sum it up: See crying as something useful, as a way of communication. You influence how much the child has to rely on this form of communication when she gets older.

share|improve this answer
add comment

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.