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Our daughter, since she was not quite two, has been fascinated with creepy crawly things. Spiders, snakes, etc. She has always liked dinosaurs a lot too. Over the last year though, she talks more and more about... Other things.

I swear every other thing she says follows the pattern of "if you do X then Y bad thing will happen". She talks about ghosts and a man in her room at night, and she tells us about her dreams that are kind of eerie sometimes. She asks if it will be Halloween yet and has picked up a strong fascination with tornadoes.

Now, she does have her girly side; her other obsession is kitties and she loves to dance and listen to Katy Perry. She also speaks and comprehends incredibly well for her age and has pretty intense emotions.

We don't watch scary things with her or really talk about that stuff so we are just trying to understand... Why might our daughter be so into that stuff?

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Like just now... She is telling me that "tape comes from a mail man and he tapes the packages. And a mail man shouldn't lie to you and tell you that you don't have any mail. Or he will make everyone sad when they don't have any packages." She just goes on... –  anon May 6 at 1:42
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Sounds like interesting stuff. –  Dave Clarke May 6 at 16:04
    
Ok, the man in the room at night thing would weird me out, but I straight up believe in ghosts. If my kids tell me there's a creepy man in their room, I'm probably going to believe them (I'm not proud...). –  Meg Coates May 7 at 21:56
    
I SO want to meet your kid - she sounds fascinating! Enjoy her uniqueness - nothing so far sounds worry-inducing to me! –  MJ6 May 26 at 19:46

3 Answers 3

Seems to me pretty ordinary. Spiders and snakes are pretty interesting things. Dinosaurs are a staple of young kids. Maybe that's "boy normal" not "girl normal", but we're in the 21st century, right?

The rest of it sounds like she's internalizing the concept of "things can happen if you do X", ie, cause and effect, and perhaps with a little too much focus on "bad things". Maybe try to focus a bit more on talking about 'good' consequences, rather than the necessary 'bad' consequences (ie, you're telling her "Don't touch that hot stove or you will get burned"; are you also telling her "Do touch that bubble and see what happens!"?).

Don't worry too much about the dreams; almost every kid that age has fairly vivid dreams. My almost-three year old regularly has dreams about helicopters, where there is a helicopter landing on his bed. A big one. Don't ask me, I don't understand either. Those are signs of active imaginations and a child learning about 'reality' and 'fantasy', which is what they should be doing at that age. Talk to the child about the difference, and help her through difficult/bad dreams, but otherwise don't worry too much about it.

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Children are mirrors of their parents. What is your outlook to the world? Do you wory too much and enjoy too little?

Or, does she watch TV or some other media where she's confronted with 'dark things' like adults lying, bad things happening etc. (this is 80+% of all stuff on TV, meybe more)?

If so, that's pretty hard thing to cope with, no wonder it's consuming her and leaking through to her mind and dreams. Please help her, by limiting the flow of 'dark adult' stuff (I see no reason why 3 year old should watch TV, use tablet or listen to music that talks with a psychopathic language of power).

And by listening to her about what she has seen and heard and showing her that world is actually a wonderful place!

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Neither spiders, snakes, nor dinosaurs are "dark" things. Those are pretty normal interests for children. The if/then scenarios sound like she's working out of cause and effect - a normal and healthy thing for children to do. A lot of kids also love Halloween - they get to dress up and get free candy! Do you live in an area that is prone to tornadoes? Have you, or perhaps her school, talked about what she should do if there is one? It's also completely normal for a child to be fascinated with a new thing that they have been prepped for but not experienced. Vivid dreams, which are also eerie/scary/weird, continue into adulthood for many people.

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My boy just love spider because of the web they spin. we play pretty much every other dinner mimicking spiders with our hands and walking around on his arm and head. He have baby spider hands because his are smaller ... but I dont feel anything is wrong with him –  Thierry Savard Saucier Oct 3 at 18:21

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