disrespect is not acheived in a day. Neither is respect. By the time a child reaches the teen years, corporal punishment is no longer an option. The only thing you have as leverage at this point is the respect your child has for you. The history of caring, concerned, loving discipline that you have shown both to the child and other children.
I do not know your history with this child, so I cannot comment on the quality of your care. Some of the words you have used in your question, though, make me suspect you have been trying to dictate their behavior. This works in the short term with small children, and SHOULD be used, especially with new situations, but only when you also train the child to know the proper behavior themselves. Have you done this? You might have. It's what we did with our daughters
However, all teens go through a phase when they think they know everything. I was reduced at one point to saying to my oldest: "you don't like it, then move out and live your own way." I then helped her pack, saw her to the door, and watched her drive away with a friend. Of course, the friend's parents were not about to take in another child, which left my 'know-it-all' with a dilemma. She asked her mother if she could come home. The answer was "of course, but the rules are still the rules."
In the end, my daughter realized the security and safety of home, along with no bills, was worth the price of subitting to the rules. Once she made the choice herself, it was not such a rock realtionship. Prior to that, though it was really rough.
My second oldest decided to push my buttons once, by pointing out that I really couldn't take anything away from her, since aside from some of her clothes, she bought everything herself with her part-time job. She was taking a high-school Consumer Law course at the time. I agreed with her. Then I asked if the fact that someone bought a particular commodity gave then the authority to decided how it got used. She smugly said "yes".
I left the dinner table, went to the basement, then came back. When she asked what I was doing, I told her "I simply tripped the breaker feeding electricity to your room. Since my job pays for the electricity in this house, I've decided to opt out of supplying it to your room. You DO still get lights, so you can stare at your electric guitar, TV, stereo, and Wii this evening. Or, you can agree to not get snarky with your father, and I go re-flip the breaker."
My point with these stories is that head-to-head with a teenager rarely ends well. They are smart, they see how their friends live and interact with their parents. If your daughter is resentful, take stock of what her life is like, ask other parents you respect aboout what they do, find out if maybe, just maybe, you are one of those parents every kid is thankful they don't have. I've done it, my friends have done it. Once, I had to admit to myself that I was, indeed, doing it badly.
The important thing is that respect can be rebuilt. Don't make the mistake of thinking that admitting you made a mistake will somehow lessen your authority. Did you ever deal with a teacher who never admitted their mistakes? How about one who affably laughed off getting caught in a mistake in front of the class and thanked the student for pointing it out? I had both, guess which one I still respect?
The start of your solution is going to have to be genuine communication. You are going to have to let your daughter tell you everything she resents about you as a parent, and you are going to have to silently take it. keep a poker face, if you can't keep a compassionate one. But just being willing to listen to her side of things will get the ball of mutual respect rolling. Then, when she is done, do not make the mistake of telling her why she is totally wrong about you. In fact, if you spend the entire time "listening" by lining up your rock-solid rebuttals, youve completely missed the point.
Listen, then spend 1 or 2 days really, really looking at your behavior. Bring your daughter's concerns to a friend you really trust to tell you the straight, unvarnished truth. Then, if anything needs to change, bring your daughter alongside you, and give her permission to help hold you accountable to anything you might need to change.
I hope this helps. This process has helped get me through 2 teen daughters.