My in-laws have tried to give our baby who is only just beginning to eat solid foods, candy, soda, and other adult foods because they think it is funny to "irritate daddy and mommy."
My daughter has a lot of reflux so we have to be careful about introducing one food at a time - just like anyone would normally be careful, but we have to be hyper-aware in order to figure out what it is she is sensitive to.
I have also known of them to ignore a screaming child for at least half-an-hour so they could "finish a show" and all the kid really wants is attention anyway - it can wait - "The baby's lungs are developing." In any case, we are done with trusting them to baby sit.
We've simply avoided asking them to sit for us, but now they are offering (frequently) and are starting to understand (I think) they aren't wanted as baby-sitters. Both my husband and I have tried to be clear that it isn't a matter of "irritation" but that there are certain things we want for our baby (like not choking on candy that is too big for her, starting with non-sugary foods for nutritional taste development, tracking what she is eating so we can figure out what she is sensitive to and having her needs met in a reasonable amount of time - including needs for attention).
They (particularly the father) continue to act like it is all a big joke and if they're sitting, they can do it however they want - "After-all, we've already raised six kids successfully." However, the mother actually came into my husband's life when he was already a teen and all the kids were at least in preschool. While the father has parented six kids genetically, it was the grandparents (now, great-grandparents) that did a lot of the raising (until the step-mother came into the picture) So we can't even justify things as, "well, my husband came out of it alright" - the way these two would like us to believe we can.
How do we go about a conversation regarding this situation without creating a familial rift for my husband, daughter and even myself?