We did not "sleep train" in the sense your husband is referring to and our daughter is now a fabulous sleeper (at seven). Idon't think it is required (nor do I think it means automatically happier kids or more engaged parents). However, as with all things there are trade-offs to be considered on either side.
In my experience if you sleep train through snuggling and cuddling (like we did) until they're ready for more independent sleep without a lot of tears, it just might be years before bedtime is a quick 10-20 minute process for you. At the same time, my kid was a very happy connected kid that got all the cuddling and comfort she needed for as long as she needed it at bed-time and once asleep, she slept very well once she was past nursing.
As Joe points out, at about 8-9 months they typically really do start having foods that are much more filling - long term and start waking up during the night a lot less. That means you are likely to start getting more sleep either way than you are now (except when your child is ill, or teething, or going through a growth spurt. . . ) I don't really believe the parents of sleep trained babies ever got that much more sleep than I did (I have nannied for families that use this method so have more ability to compare than most who do only one or the other method), so until some one shows me an un-biased study that proves it equals more sleep, I'll probably remain skeptical.
What I do think I gave up in order to avoid any sort of "crying it out" or "no tears," is quiet time with my husband between when she was about 2 and 2 1/2 in the evenings for TV viewing and whatever in that 8:00 to 10:00 time period because it took a long time for her to fall asleep when we were transitioning her to falling asleep without cuddling. We did the whole sit with her, rub her back, stay in the room until she was asleep thing for a month or so, then we had a chair we sat in that moved further and further from the bed and closer and closer to the door of her room and finally into the hall. . . (you get the idea).
We also had a baby that was easy to transfer so we could snuggle with her, transfer her to her bed (when needed) and then be on our merry way before the transition described above. This actually hardly took any time at all and everyone still slept really well (and had their own space) by the time she was just past 18 months, but some babies are a lot harder to transfer than others.
Overall, I don't personally think one way is actually healthier in the long run - I know there are a lot of people out there that will disagree with me, but think about it, for centuries everyone slept in the same room in most households and it is still this way in many parts of the world. The whole idea of a nursery only came about in the late 1800's and even then it was only in the wealthiest households at first. The idea that your child will be psychologically injured and unable to sleep on her own for life if you don't sleep train is absurd.
Having said that it is extremely easy to put a sleep trained baby down for bed or down for a nap and takes minutes throughout those first two years as opposed to the somewhat longer process we had in my house. Your baby is more independent in sleep sooner, which affords you more independence as well. That is a pretty huge advantage. Sleep trained babies can still get their cuddles and affection at other times of the day, and once the training process is over, you'll be back to getting more sleep again.
I suggest you both read the book related to whichever methods you'd like to look into. Also check out Dr. Sears who, while controversial, offers up the opposing viewpoint and its benefits and the specific "how to's" and then have a candid conversation about the sacrifices each of you wants to make or not in regard to your choice here. Dr. Sears also outlines some "in between" ideas btw. Come up with a plan you think will work for the both of you and then stick to it for at least a few weeks (changing plans frequently is a good way to undermine the work you do in any direction). Then, re-evaluate if you need to and keep your communication on the matter open and loving. Whatever you do, it will work best if you both use the same plan and support each-other in it.
Just as a heads-up if you aren't already aware: It is also possible she is teething and that this stage may pass as quickly as it has come. I also thought that although maybe you have seen these, maybe not. Perhaps some of these different but related questions and their answers might have some helpful information, tips or ideas within them.
Are there techniques for actually teaching a child how to sooth itself?
When should we start lulling our baby back to sleep in her own bed?
Help with Sleep Training
I also found 6 little secrets of sleeping baby to be interesting and helpful in soothing parental nerves regarding the matter of sleep and babies very helpful.
Finally, it seems you and your husband have a decision to make together regarding bed and sleep, but it sounds as though your real concern is in how to sooth your little girl without nursing - a tough question in your case. We do not already have a question (that I found on a cursory glimpse) "How do I stop being a human pacifier?" but perhaps also asking that separate question will garner some additional ideas and advice from parents that had a similar problem at other points in the day than just at bedtime. Even so, some of it could still be applicable to you.